Monday, December 31, 2012

Out with old in with the new!

Well this is it. The last day of 2012. Honestly it does not feel that 365 days have passed but they have. I recall thinking just last week that this was impossible to be preparing for Christmas and now here we sit about to embrace the new year that is suddenly upon us. Why is it when we are children the years seem to just DRAG by? I mean everything just seems to take forever and we never seem to appreciate that time we have? Then we become adults and if we blink just right the entire year went by and we missed most of it! I can't tell you how much I have tried to instill in my children that they need to enjoy this time they have take in every second of what they are experiencing because before they know it they will be saying the exact same things as I am.
This year has been one of our most eventful ones as of yet. This was the first full year that Chris was no longer military. This transition in and of itself was a tough one. I began a wonderful job doing what I love, but that was still such a huge change from what I am used to. We both became full time students and have found it to be a challenge but have found such reward from it. Life has continued to throw us curve balls but we seem to be hitting them left and right, some right out of the ballpark others have ended up base hits or fouls but we have done our best to overcome each obstacle in our path. 
This next year will prove to be our toughest yet. This is not meant in a negative manner we just know going into 2013 we will have a lot more to face and in store for us. This upcoming year will be the year of answers. We will be starting off this New Year with answers to H and that itself is scary and a relief! We have big things on the agenda and hope to see them through. It will be exciting though. Sean will be in his last year of jr. high and Hannah in her last year of elementary school. See time is flying and I am just feeling like i can't keep up!
i won't be making any resolutions this year. They just seem to have no point to me. This year we are going to live for the moment and be happy for what we have and who we are. I am not going to stress over my weight, or how to look better. This is me and I am good with that. We aren't going to let anyone bring us down and remove those who bring nothing but negativity to our lives. This year we will make the most of it and do what we can to savor and enjoy each day we get. I am wanting to do what I can to "slow down" time   so I don't sit here a year from now and say "Man where did the time go?"  
This year is going to be more about family and less about the stress. I want to spend more time with my children, my sisters and the rest of my family. I want to do more with them and create new memories and traditions with them. It sounds like a busy year but hey I have 365 days to complete it so I think I can do it. I think it's time to change my outlook on life and  think about more of what I have and want to have rather then what I don't have or never got. So out with the old and in with the new! Happy New Years everyone!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

So this is Christmas

Who else agrees we needed a bit more time to prepare for Christmas this year????  I am sitting here at a quarter to 6 in the evening and thinking really this was Christmas. The girls slept in till after 7am and H was up close to 8. Granted he was up late since he is not feeling well and he was also pretty anxious and trying to stim around the living room till midnight. The kids waited patiently to open gifts and have played well most of the day. God bless the creator of Legos! That is all they have done. I haven't heard a peep except for a few clomps down the stairs for some snacks or a drink.
We left around 11am to go pick up Sean at our designated half way mark. Of course what Christmas day roadtrip would not be complete with out a little winter weather. After a quick phone call to his step mom we agreed to go ahead that nothing seemed to be sticking. We get home opened the remainder of the gifts cooked a little and have relaxed. The kids kept to themselves and H floated between being with his siblings or being down here with his toys or watching TV.
Between the drive and sitting here I really started thinking about this Christmas compared to all the past ones. How many variances there was compared to the previous. There was so much more hoopla and excitement in the past. The house would be decked out and the tree covered in nice ornaments, the house was always full of guests and friends for parties and just random gatherings, going to parties and spending lots of time out of the house. This year we went to holiday parties but they were therapy related so of course those went fairly smooth. We had a few events on the books it just never panned out which is fine.
I started thinking on Thursday how we needed just a few more days between then and today because I was not ready for Christmas and I just didn't feel in the holiday spirit. I was hoping as the days drew closer to Christmas i would feel more prepared and ready for it but nothing. Sunday we picked up girls and I though surely this would get me in the spirit and boy did I try. We made ornaments, and paper chains, and listened to Christmas music. I was fighting to find that spirit I was lacking. Yesterday after a few errands I decided to get with the girls and bake some treats for our friends and family. I was getting closer but still really nothing. We dropped off the goodies and took a walk around the cul de sac to look at lights and ended up meeting some great new neighbors. I made a mental note to go walking down to that part of the neighborhood not only to mooch the fire pit and some good girl talk.
Last night the girls went to bed without a fuss and I got to playing Santa. Thank goodness nothing required assembly! Shortly after midnight the tree was set and I went to bed. I was sure the girls would be up with the sun begging to go see their gifts. We were up before them and just laid quietly to see how long it would take before we could bust one of them sneaking off downstairs to check out the goods. I have to admit I am a bit disappointed in not being to catch them in the act. The agreement was they opened one gift from us, one gift from Aunt Jordan and Jenny and their stocking and wait for the rest later. They complied without issue which was nice. I thought for sure with the snow we would see a bit more Christmas spirit and I would feel that it should be Christmas.
I have sat here trying to figure it out and I can't explain it. So this was our Christmas. I really want to spend it with family next year and by family I mean extended family. Now that Jordan and Ronnie have a baby I think it would nice to do more of a real big family thing like we did growing up. I am so hooked on that. I guess maybe I should let it go but I just can't. I know we kept it low key to make it easier on H and it was for the most part. I can't keep him sheltered and the more he is exposed the better training it is for him. Even just the little bit of extra stimulation tonight has caused him to go nuts. No light switch is safe, no block will go untossed, and no non food item will be missed. While it is hard to watch at the same time this is H and we love him and understand this is all part of it. So this was Christmas and what a great Christmas it was.