Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Long overdue!

Wow 3 months since I have updated. Part of me thought about it while laying in my oh so comfy hospital room for the 7+ week stay that I had. But I got lazy and figured facebook would be easier to update. Looking back I think maybe blogging would have helped me in my stress relief but oh well hind sight is 20/20 right?

So as most everyone knows I did in fact end up going to Chris' promotion ceremony that weekend since well that is where all my excitement began. I was so proud to be apart of his day so proud and excited I ignored my bodies signals to tell me to take it easy and slow down. Something I don't think Chris and I will ever forget that day was his commander saying as he shook Chris' hand was.. " What a great weekend for you, a promotion and what about a baby?!" We laughed and I said " Oh no not quiet yet we still have a few weeks to go!" Maybe he knew something I didn't ha ha! Long story short very early Sunday morning I was taking by Care Flight to Dallas to Medical City Dallas for preterm labor and severe Pre Clampsia. My blood pressure was rounding stroke levels that day. From July 31st till August 29th I was to be on bed rest.

Hunter made his grand 5 week early entrance on August 29th at 7:47pm. The whole ordeal was somewhat traumatic. My blood pressure was out of control. I was pumped full of what is called Magnesium Sulfate. This was to control my BP it's effects where horrible. At one point there was talk of a C Section and I made it very firm and clear there would be none of that! Hunter must have gotten the message because a few hours later he was on his way out! The scary part was once he was born he never cried. He was rushed away. I never saw him, never held him. It was at the point things became such a blur and I was sinking quickly into a sad depressed state. I later learned through a horrible ordeal with some nurses that my son was not really able to regulate his breathing, and his body temp. He was struggling to eat choking and throwing up most of what he was eating. I was devastated. I was not able to see, hold or bond with my baby. I was to sick to leave my bed and he was to sick to be away from the nurses. The 18 hours after that where a blur. After a wonderful conversation with our pedi I was able to see Hunter after each feeding for about 15 minutes. It wasn't much but I was ok with it. That lasted twice he got to sick and it was then decided since he wasn't breathing normal and eating the right way he must need to go to the NICU. I was crushed. I was told he would be put on what is called CPAP. Somehow by the grace of God he didn't need it. By 10pm that night I was finally able to see my son. I however still was sick my BP was so high I should have had a stroke. I think someone up above knew that being with my son was what my body and mind really needed to help me through this.

In the days following we spend 10 days in the NICU. We learned how got his breathing to mature more, he was able to to actually take a bottle and learn how to suck, swallow and breath. We dealt with jaundice and rapid weight loss. In a matter of a day and a half we went from 5lbs 10oz to 4lbs 8oz. On September 7th after passing the car seat study and going 5 days with no major alarms we where given the ok to room in at the NICU before going home the next day. While our stay was only 10 days and minor to most of those babies in the NICU. It was still a real wake up call. We had a pod mate who was born a micro premie and was just as cute as could be. She was a real fighter and we became friends with their family. Their daughter after over a 100+ days there got to take their baby home. Every day when Chris and I would walk into our pod we felt almost guilty for being there. Hunter was thriving faster than we all thought and not nearly as in need of help and sick as her pod mates. The day we left I felt horrible I couldn't look at the other pod because I felt guilty for taking my baby home. They had been there month's we had been there days. It took me some time but I finally let it go and knew that every baby was different and we where all there in that NICU because we needed to be there. The hardest day though was when we had found out a baby had passed. We didn't know the family but still seeing it all was just horrible. I held my baby extra tight that day and was thankful for all that I had.

I have now spent my maternity leave and recovery here in Abilene with Chris. I must say it has been nice. We moved into a nice duplex a few few weeks back. I love this neighborhood and am sad to have to leave here on the 30th to go back to Dallas. Dallas is where my family is though. I need to be back in my routine of work and raising my other kids. They need me and I need them. I can't have my cake and eat it to. I have loved being out here, not just being with my husband but just the lifestyle out here. We have friendly neighbors, it's quiet and safe, and I feel comfortable and safe. But my home and life is Dallas. Am I worried how it will be once I am home and don't have Chris to help me? Yes and no. I will be back at work and Hunter will be right there with me across the hall safe with is loving teachers. I am more nervous about how Chris will be once we are gone. We still have weekends and with the holidays coming it will all work out. We have made it this far and I know we will continue to make it all work.

As for the kiddos they are doing great with school. Hannah has glasses now and from the picture I have seen she looks so super cute and sophisticated! Ella loves kindergarten she loves it so much she can't stop talking!! Actually she is doing better according to Jason after her parent teacher conference. Sean is just as smart as ever and doing so well with school. Even with his health issues while I was in the hospital and having to miss the first week of school he has not let it slow him down. We had some rough patches but he has done awesome. We are still awaiting his genetic test results. My heart breaks when he hurts and when he went through his ordeal this summer. It made it worse since I couldn't be there. Myranda though is awesome and really has a great handle on all this. I really don't know what I would do if he didn't have a step mom like her! She is like a 2nd mom to my children. I trust her more than I trust most people with my kids.

Well this is a long enough update and should catch anyone up that might have been in the dark! I think once I am back home and settled I will do much better with the updates. It feels good to be writing again. Thanks to those who reminded me I needed to update!