Friday, July 31, 2009

The results are in!!!

So as must of you know this has not been a good week for me. I have been battling illness and lots of stress. Then I had Hannah who was sick also for about 12hrs and I was super worried that she was not going to get better anytime soon. So after some relaxing and being forced to a doctor by not only my boss but coworkers, my future mother in law and of course my wonderful fiance I did it and went to the doc. After going to the CVS minute clinic ( not to bad actually) The doc there said well you have Acute Bronchitis and a Sinus infection. He next question was so what do you do for work? I said um I work with lots of kids all day long 5 days a week. He asked a rather stupid question but he said well are they sick? Hello they are kids one of them is bound to be ill!! He was like well it appears you have had this for a while. Gee thanks sir I was not aware of that! He said to make sure I stay away from sick kids. I said how do you figure that works. He said keep them at home. Again easier said than done! But I got my inhaler refilled (my O2 level was at 96) and antibiotics. I was told not to take over the counter decongestants as my BP was elevated. Excuse me what?! Ya at 30 years old I have elevated BP it was 155 over 90 something. Wow not good at all. I guess my age is now showing!! But the meds are working I just wish the hearing in my left ear would come back! Its either this sinus infection or again my age is showing and I have developed crazy hearing loss! Some people are having to much fun with this!!
So on to the big big news. Well I seem to think it is. Most of you received an email from me tonight so you may already know. I wanted to put it in my blog and make the announcement that way but when Chris sent me the email I couldn't resist because it was so cute! So I decided what the heck I will send a mass email and of course blog about it!!
So tonight Chris is at work (well ok afternoon there!) he was bored ordering parts he needed for work we just talked and there was a slight lul in the conversation! We where talking about things that happened today and stuff about Sean and then more silence. He apparently is not a multi tasker!!!! So he finally said oh I got my assignment. I was like oh nice ok sounds good. I said woohoo Oklahoma here we come ( please not total sarcasm!). He said nooooooooo guess again I said oh Shreveport I guess that's not to bad. He said noooooooo. I said where he said Hawaii!! I said shut up! Where are we going!? He said DYESS!!!! I was silent for a second and it registered with me Abilene!!!!! YES!! This is what we wanted this is what he was hoping for so to get this is super awesome exciting. So yes eventually means leaving but not for a while so dry your tears folks! But I am excited he is excited. Heck Sean is excited. This is a wild ride but man does it really have so high points! This is for sure one of them. Now he schedules his flight back and we go from there. He will start house hunting and I will along with his family help. Oh ya did I mention his family is more than likely coming here also!? Its actually not a bad deal. So the count down is now around 94 days almost 75% completed with 25% left! Ahhh I am seeing an end in sight!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

A little reflection a little thinking...

I so meant to blog last night and the day just got away from me. Not that I did anything terribly exciting but I did spend my day once Sean left watching some Lifetime movies and also doing some online training for work. I probably should have been cleaning and doing laundry but it felt so nice to lay on the couch for most of my day in my jammies and do NOTHING!!!
So this was by far one of my more interesting weekends. I think the excitement of Chris coming home is really starting to hit home here. We are now down to the double digit count down ( my count down clock is wrong oops!) We are at around 90 some odd days till he is back home here with us! Wow I can recall being 90 some odd days in going this sucks and well I hate it this and I swear its never going to end. I am still not loving it but I know really soon he is going to be here. And with that I have started my "honey do list!!" He is well aware of it and I gave him a good run down of what to expect last night. I suddenly feel that maybe he will develop weekend plans and ask to be stationed way far up north lol! Oh he loves this and he knows it haha!
Also this weekend was a time for us to actually talk like really talk like normal couples get to do when they are face to face and get the opportunity to do so. I was excited to have this talk because I felt a little more let into his life and him into mine. I felt even closer to him after this talk. I compare it to one of those sit on the end of the beds all hours of the night till the sun comes up kind of talks. Those to me are the best and my favorite. I think we both know how to really make us work and we both promise to do a better job of talking.
A down side to this weekend was I did something I really feel horrible about and I feel so extremely guilty. My best friend Lauren who runs Cotton Candy Shop ( was holding a photo shoot this weekend at the Ft. Worth Stockyards. My girls where scheduled to be in the shoot. About 12 hrs before this shoot that they where suppose to be in all my plans and transportation methods had vanished and fell apart. I was unable to make it there and I know she was upset with me and I was upset with myself. I have never let someone down like that and I felt sick and miserable. I know that her shoot went off with out a hitch I am sure and all the children there looked great but I am her best friend and biggest supporter and I felt like I let her down. I figured out a way to make it work and I hope this some how shows how truly sorry I am for what happened.
Saturday's are now officially game night in this house. Sean and I have a blast and stay up late now playing Battleship, Life and of course Yahtzee. Sean and I had so much fun playing Life but this time Chris was sleeping or working so he was unable to join us hopefully next time. I know how much he loves to hear us go nuts and get competitive!! I think we will go buy Uno Attack this weekend and have a all out war lol! I know Chris will love that.
I thought a lot about what things will be like in just a few short months. I have adjusted to life on my own and doing all the cooking, and cleaning ect and I did that to before he left but its weird to think that soon my weekends will be so amazingly different, vacations, holidays ect. I honestly didn't think I would feel like this again but I am glad I found him and I am glad I do. We compliment one another perfectly and know what each other is thinking and can finish one another sentences and thoughts. That to me is the sign of a wonderful thriving relationship. I hope we stay on that path. I look forward to this new life with someone new and amazing to share all these wonderful things with. I just hope he is excited as I am.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

(insert creative title here!)

I have no idea what to call this posting tonight I did have an idea as in inside joke with my son's step mom about what her daughter said but then I figured it would offend someone not that it was bad or anything but you never know. But to hear this little 3 year old talk about pink farts was hysterical! Having my son explain to her how you can't see colored farts was even better! Ahh out of the mouths of babes! Anyways I don't approve of the word fart I prefer toot but hey I am not one to misquote a child!!

This weekend was good and blah. As always on Friday night Sean comes over we hung out watch the Sponge Bob Marathon. I think I should get some sort of award for sitting through that! While he got cleaned up I got some stuff done and then we decided to play Yahtzee again though this time Chris didn't join us because he was sleeping! Oh well he didn't miss much. Once Sean realized he was not playing as well as last time he got mad and decided to go to bed. I tried to give him the good sportsmanship talk but ya that was falling on deaf ears at the time. About an hour later he wonders back out to the living room apologizes watches a couple of TV shows with me while I make plans for the following day and then heads to bed. A couple of the girls I work with where trying to make plans to go shopping for Saturday it was a matter of organizing everyone busy schedules to make it work. The final plan Saturday 10am the Galleria for breakfast and shopping! I was excited!!

Saturday was a blast. Me and the girls met had a wonderful breakfast and then headed off to do shopping. I was able to find several uniforms for Hannah for school and even a cute outfit. I think all three of us made some great purchases and a few hours later we called it a day. I headed home to get Sean ready for his friends sleepover and looked to make plans for the rest of my evening. Ugh this is where it turns BLAH! After all my plans for the evening fell through I decided that I should finish getting the items I needed for Hannah for school I went to Target got what I needed and decided a 500 piece country main street puzzle was the cure for boredom! WRONG!! Two stinking hours into this puzzle and only the border done I said forget it. A long time friend of mine suggested having a few drinks to help me with it! Alas no such luck in my house so I called it a night and at that time Chris woke up and we talked. This week starts their exercise and so the schedule changes and its a bit different then normal weeks. He had to leave at 2:30am my time so I did what any normal person would do right I talked to him and was up till 2:30am!! HAHA. Well I figured I had nothing else to do I had laid around all day so yep I would talk to him and then do something else I never do sleep in the next day! Or so I thought I would!

I fell asleep on the couch and I don't normally do that but I woke up around 4am to the TV still on and a horrible infomercial. I moved into the bedroom looked down to see some new emails I figured why not I will see if Chris emailed me from work. Sure enough there was one! Yippy. I read it and it was a bit of news I was not really expecting. Apparently now there is a chance he might not go to Dyess in Abilene. There is one slot left there. There is also one slot left in Shreveport at Barksdale. I of course get a bit upset and frustrated I asked what the other option was. Tinker in Oklahoma. Topher and I now refer to it as Tinkerbell because its the first thought that came to our heads. But Tinker is 4.5 hours away and its not horrible but its not what either one of us had expected. I was starting to get used to the idea of Abilene and Kara was helping me with that also. She used to live near there and keeps telling what a wonderful area it is and how much we will love it if we end up there. Nanner (Chris' mom) sent me some stuff about Dyess and I was starting to actually get excited about all of it. I hate having to switch gears so quickly and have to change plans. But apparently this is one of those kinda lifestyles where this happens frequently. I will learn to adjust I kinda have to now!

The rest of the day wasn't bad. Around 3 Sean's step mom and his dad picked me up with their two kids and we headed to the Science Museum for the rest of the afternoon. I was excited because I have not been there in years. David and Sean did the Imax and Myranda and I took the two little ones to walk around. The kid area was a blast and we searched for dinosaur bones it was a great afternoon. Sean really loves it when we all spend time together and do things because he loves us and knows that we are all friends and get along. We even went dinner together Myranda's kids crack me up especially Emily! We ate and headed home where the "fart" conversation came up! I was trying hard not to laugh but she is to funny.

So here it is 7pm the girls just came home from their dads and so I must change gears and get back into the routine for the week. Laundry is sort of done, I must do dishes from the weekend, The house is a bit messy,lunches and apparently the girls need to be fed and bathed. After that I hope to settled in for my shows. Everyone knows I do not miss Army Wives!!!

I did a lot of thinking this weekend. I realize the only one I need to please is me. That no matter how hard I try not everyone will like me and I need to accept that. I also know that everything in life happens for a reason and while you might not see it at the time somewhere somehow later on you realize its purpose. I also know that 15 weeks is not that far and that no matter where Chris ends up we will make it work and we will be happy. Everything in life requires time and effort and you get out of it what you put into it. I use these things daily now to get by. I think if I keep telling myself these things I will be a happier person who can see things for what they are. So with that I am ending this for the evening. I had to retype most of this since my computer crashed and I still have two dirty girls who are fighting and need their bathes!! Enjoy your night!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A night of thinking

I try not to write these blogs that are you know down and boring because I know that not only my family and friends read them but Chris is reading this too. But he knows as much as I do the stresses that I have been under lately and my feelings of just anxiety and frustration.
I started feeling that I am a sucker that I walk around with a sign on it and it says " please take advantage of my kindness!" I tend to avoid confrontation I don't like to be apart of it. I do what I can to please people in hopes they will reciprocate back to me. Does that always happen? Well of course not but I do it anyways. Do I always follow by the books despite my better judgement? No but maybe I should. I am sure you are wondering what all this is leading up to and I will get to it I just wanted to precursor into my whole night of though. So anyways some of this has to do with my ex husband and some of it just has to do with others around me. I figure I am up I will just vent a bit.
For the last month I have just felt sort of taken advantage of and walked all over. I am given standards and guidelines to follow but others get to take their own path and make their own choices. Keep in mind most of these issues have no since been resolved but I just still feel so frustrated by them that I figured letting it out would make me feel better and maybe I could get some justification on why I feel this way. When Jason and I split up and we moved on we made a few agreements that I figured we would both hold up on. I have and for some reason and I am not to surprised he has not. I call him out on it only to try and have things turned on me. Oh how I hate this part of divorce. We agreed not to use the children as our pawn and as our messengers and that apparently is not part of the deal anymore. More often than not now I come out to be the bad guy. Its like his own way making the kids think I am mean and don't like them. Now I know that's not true but be in my shoes and look at it from my point of view and it feels that way. I have felt this overwhelming need to bite my tongue and play this game but now I have decided no more. I know that he until things get straightened out drives me around. It sucks I hate that he has that" control" but its how it goes until I can get things figured out. I could try a bus and I have thought of it but till I can get that all figured out I have to play his game. So now I am not holding back my feelings and when he screws me over I am letting him know that I am not going to lay here and take it.
Of course there are people in my life that i feel I have let down and upset and I feel horrible. I hate it when I do that and it makes me feel so horrible. I am such a people pleaser I hate when people are upset with me and when i have done something to let them down or cause them to think less of me. I think part of my problem is I try to do to much and do not like to say no or want to say no so I go and go and go and it causes me to make mistakes and cause careless errors. And for those people I go out of my way to do what I can to make the situation better and do what I can to earn back their respect and trust. Ask anyone who knows me I get very hard on myself when I screw up and I let those around me down. I recently caused a friend unneeded stress and its bothered me. More so than I thought it would. Tonight the guilt came over me so much I went online and ordered a special gift and had it sent to them. I know it won't fix the problem but I hope to have it symbolize a peace offering and let them know how truly sorry I am for what happened. I am willing to do what ever I can to fix this problem because I can see how much its affecting this person.
I am feeling better that I got this off my chest. I wanted to write more but I have decided that less is more and that I don't want to pollute my blog with things like this all the time but tonight for some reason it seemed like the right thing to do. Sorry this was not one of my more upbeat fun blogs but I promise this weekends one should be fun to read.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Changes and other things....

So its been a while since I wrote. And if you follow my blog you might have seen some changes made. I have decided that now being engaged and my divorce is done that while on paper I am still Dimmitt I am not really one anymore. So I changed the title to fit my new life and oh what a life it is. I actually can thank my future mother in law for the title. Yesterday her, Chris and myself where talking on the computer and I think the phone and I decided that the title needed a change. She said oh what a life and I said oh ya so fitting. So thank you Nanners for that.
So let see to catch everyone up Ella had a nasty case of strep. I feel horrible because the things she told me and symptoms she had led me to believe it was a UTI so telling the doc that he said ya sounds bout right we will call in an antibiotics and she should be good to go. Well he never did and Ella go worse much worse. Nothing sucks more than having a sick child on a holiday weekend. Saturday night when her fever reached 103 I said enough is enough and we made the fun trip to Med City where once we arrived the waiting room filled up quick. She was seen quickly and after a simple test they confirmed that it was strep! A shot of Benicillin ( ok two because the syringe broke the first time while they injected), a Popsicle and tiger she was set and ready to head home. By the following Thursday she was back to normal.
Ahhh Thursday as most of you know Hannah turned 7 and had her party at Build a Bear. Ok people let me just say do this with 10 kids or less and this is not a good party place to do a shared party. It was chaotic and a disaster. Though she and her friends had a great time I won't be doing that again. Lesson learned. There are some great pictures on my Facebook page if you are on there.
Today Ella was in a photo shoot for my friend Lauren. She has this wonderful boutique Cotton Candy Shop. She is so extremely talented. So Thursday night she sent me a message asking if I could bail her out in a photo shoot Sunday. The catch my daughter would be wearing a Texas A&M tutu. Now most of you realize that I am a UT person my sister went to UT and I have always just loved the school and I plan on going to UTD here soon. So this was like going against all my beliefs!!! Chris loved it he was so excited about it and gave me such a hard time. I swear when I made the hair bow for Ella to wear for the shoot today my fingers where burning!! But if you again go look at my Facebook page you will see the great pictures I took. The professional ones will be here in a few weeks. Ella and Emily (Sean's half sister) looked awesome and cute. They had a great time despite the heat.
I can't leave out Sean! We went to Target last night and with his gift cards he got for his birthday he got a few games. Life and Yahtzee. Those who have known me since I was a kid remembers that Yahtzee in our house was a tradition. We got super competitive and always played. So this weekend I exposed my son to it. Ok folks I created a monster!!! He got 7 yes count them 7 Yahtzee's in one game. I decided that instead of tallying up the score I just said you win hands down cant compete. Chris was on speaker phone and we had our cameras on so he heard and saw the whole game. The boys ganged up on me and gave me a hard time. It was the closest thing to having a fun game night all together. I had a blast and I think every Saturday night Sean, myself and Chris will do this. Its kind of a unique bonding experience. I think both of the boys had a great time. It made me so happy.
Speaking of Chris we are at about 16 weeks and counting. Work is tough from what I have heard and he is growing frustrated. Well I feel his pain. We all just want him to come home so we can all get reacquainted and pick up where we all left off. I know times are tough for him right now and I haven't been the easiest to deal with lately but I know that he is there for me no matter what. He has been this amazing saving grace lately and without him I do not know what I would do. I am ready to have him home with us. The kids are just hooked on him its great. They always ask about him, want to know what he is doing, want to talk to him and they have even made pictures to send him. They love it when I do speaker phone so they can all talk at once I love it because when they don't listen to me he steps in and wow they listen! Hummmmm. I guess that works right?
Well that is about it for tonight. I won't wait so long next time to write. I was in a horrible mood this week and didn't want to write because it would have been so negative. So look for an update maybe later this week or weekend.