So a few days ago I was very Bahumbugish and not at all in the Christmas spirit. I guess that changed finally at around 1:30am when Chris arrived. Yes that's right he spent 15 hours in his car. I fell asleep on the couch and jumped out of my skin when I heard him come through the front door. That it was that crazy thief coming back for that Christmas tree ha ha! I have never been so happy to see him. I worried when it took so long I of course started having horrible thoughts run through my head. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He said as soon as he exited the high way he was undoing his boots and undoing his pants so that he could just strip them off and hop into the nice warm bed. That's exactly what he did!
Christmas morning we where slightly sluggish getting up but once I got the call that the girls where on their way over Chris and I kicked into high gear to make it look good for them when we arrived. Also meant time to get ready so we could head to Mimi's house for breakfast. Ella loved her new Bitty Baby and the accessories that went with it. Hannah was thrilled to get the 2 gift cards from American Girl that would allow her to purchase a new AG doll later this week. They also got small other stuff but those where the big things at my house. Still more to open up at Chris's house. We all got dressed, the truck packed and set to head over to Mimi's and then hit the Road to Abilene.
Breakfast was yummy. I think the kids where really antsy and ready to get out to Abilene. The nibbled on their food and had that look of "LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!" We where trying to wait a bit for the roads to clear more since it was cold and um lots of snow on the ground. Yep a White Christmas here in Dallas, Texas! So we got in the truck got every situated with food, drinks and of course the electronics. We made our trek to the highway and all was great for the first hour and a half or so and we realized that highway 20 was shut down the night before and there was a sign remind us that it was still closed past Weatherford. A quick phone call to Chris's mom she confirmed that they had just opened it up but it was slow moving and advised to use extreme caution. About 30 minutes later we realized why. It was still pretty icy and full of traffic for those that had been stuck on there for hours on end. It was slightly nerve wracking but we made it through and about that time Jason and Myranda start calling to ask if we had made it yet. I told them we hit some bad roads but would be home soon. At this point the kids where ready to just jump out of their seats.
We arrived around 4pm and the kids bolted up to the apt. ready to get the gift opening going. The house looked great and the kids loved that there where presents stuck in the chimney! Once the gifts where divided up the kids ripped into their stuff. All the kids loved everything they got. Hearing them shriek and yell "look at this!" "Look what I got!" was just music to my ears. I know Chris and his mom appreciated that also. I got some great stuff also. I got new pots and pans which I really needed, a laptop that is in the works and will hopefully be here soon, some wonderful Bath and Body Works stuff and a game of Chutes and Ladders. Don't ask about the game Chris must think I am still a kid or something ha ha! We had a yummy Lasagna dinner and I spent the rest of my evening up loading pictures and setting up all the new electronic devices. I guess I should also mention that the kids each got new bikes and they where super excited about that! To bad it was to cold and icy to ride or else they would have gone out that night!
Saturday we got up hung out around the house the kids played their games, watched tv and entertained Lily. They really wanted to hurry up and get going because Chris and I where going to take them over to the base so they could see it and see what it was all about. We left the house around noon, I got my guest pass, and we where set. The kids saw these big huge planes and they where awestruck! I have pictures posted on Facebook of it. They didn't want to leave. We went and looked at almost all the planes they had on display, showed them the base houses, where Chris works, and the BX. They really liked how quiet and peaceful it is. We are planning on going out there again this week. We got home dropped the girls with Jason and then me and my boys went to eat a later dinner and head off to bed.
So I just lost the last part of this blog so anyways we are about 96 miles away from Abilene. The girls are sleeping and that's how we like it! We have some fun things planned for the week. I am just sad Sean isn't able to join us but I told him the next time we have a long weekend and we are able we would take a trip out there. He seemed ok with that. Well pictures won't upload and I am feeling the need just to wrap this up since I forgot half of what I was typing ha ha! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and I hope everyone has a great New Year!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
BAH HUMBUG!
In the last 36 hours I feel that this holiday is mocking me and my excitement. Since yesterday at lunch time all I keep getting is bad news. Chris who was suppose to leave Wednesday after work was told that he had to work on Christmas Eve. ICK! Already I could feel things that where suppose to happen where just going to be halted. I called my aunt told her the situation and she said that Doug could pick us up and not to worry. Ok fine it will work not how I expected it to be but I don't want to let the kids down. I get through the rest of the evening but I was grouchy and decided that I would just stay up as late as I want to. 2am I decided eh I am bored lets call it a night.
It was about 4am and from my living room I heard a loud jingling and then crashing sound. I thought one of two things. First that someone was breaking in or Chris was surprising me by coming here in the middle of the night. I peeked up terrified from my bed to notice the Christmas lights from the tree that I could once see where no longer visible from my bed. "Son of a.....!" I mutter as I flip on the lights and walk out to the living room. The sight I saw made my blood boil! My tree had fallen over on the chair and ottoman. Ornaments and broken pieces where everywhere! "Are you kidding me!" I guess I muttered a bit to loudly because Hannah come out wondering to the living room half a sleep asking me what was wrong and why the tree was laying on the floor. I told her to go back to bed before she got glass in her feet. She seemed upset to see me taking decorations off the tree before Christmas. I only took off the top half of the ornaments so that the tree might stay up better. I then pulled out the vacuum cleaned up the mess and stumbled back to bed. Chris calls 2 hours later. his mom 2 hours after that and then my aunt. I told everyone to let me sleep I am exhausted and to try back at noon!
Noon has rolled around. To my surprise Chris is on the road! Good news right? WRONG! He was 40 miles from the base left at 11am and traffic was awful! Ok I kept thinking maybe this will clear up he will be here on time. Oh did I mention it was SNOWING!!! For those of you who wished for snow for Christmas I so thank you! ( note sarcasm!) I make the icing for the jello salad the mixer doesn't work so I have to do it by hand. I plop on the couch with the kids and listen to some Christmas music and decide to check on Chris progress to see how far he had come. At this point its around 2pm he has to almost be here right?! He is stuck on 20 its so backed up he can't move. He is 198 miles from downtown Ft Worth! Good Lord! I call in a panic tell my aunt to send my uncle to get us now its rush mode! I had to be ready by 4! I figure surely by this point Chris would be almost here and meet us over at my aunts.
As we are leaving I check again. No dice he hasn't moved and there is a wreck! REALLY!! Good grief. What the heck happened to this being my best Christmas ever?! Mopey I head to my aunts with the kids. They are excited but worried about where Chris is. I find out the highway is shut down. No progress and finally we realize he just isn't coming. 2 over turned tractor trailers caused such a mess the highway was closed. Its still snowing and the roads are horrible. By 7pm or so I find that they have to get a police escort and may not go more than 20 miles an hour! I am really upset now and feel like I am losing my Christmas spirit complete!
Get home around 8 to about 4 inches of snow on my steps that lead me to my porch that is also totally covered in snow and hard to maneuver on! Is everything out to get me?! Will I catch a break at all?! I come in change walk down to Jason's borrow a broom to clean off the stairs and patio. Found table salt used the whole thing to make sure I have a safe walk way for when Chris gets here or the kids which ever makes it here first! I stood out on my patio for about 30 minutes staring off thinking about this year. I spent some time talking to my brother thanking him for the snow! Telling him how much I miss him. I think I finally reached a point where I was actually grieving his death and not just pretending like he just isn't talking to me or something. I felt so much better and was able to come inside and just relax.
It's 10pm now the snow has stopped. I just went outside and the sky has started to clear up and the moon is out making the snow look even more amazing. Still no word from Chris and I am afraid to call for fear of distracting him. So I am curled up on the couch with the new warm throw my sister got me for Christmas with some candles lit watching Lifetime Christmas movies. I am hoping to see some improvement in luck tomorrow. The kids are excited and that's what matters right?! I can't wait for them to get to Abilene and see their goodies. Just spoke to my aunt and we will be heading to her house in the morning to have a quick breakfast get together and to pick up Chris's shoes that I left there since I thought he would be meeting us there. Maybe things are looking up and changing now. Merry Christmas.
It was about 4am and from my living room I heard a loud jingling and then crashing sound. I thought one of two things. First that someone was breaking in or Chris was surprising me by coming here in the middle of the night. I peeked up terrified from my bed to notice the Christmas lights from the tree that I could once see where no longer visible from my bed. "Son of a.....!" I mutter as I flip on the lights and walk out to the living room. The sight I saw made my blood boil! My tree had fallen over on the chair and ottoman. Ornaments and broken pieces where everywhere! "Are you kidding me!" I guess I muttered a bit to loudly because Hannah come out wondering to the living room half a sleep asking me what was wrong and why the tree was laying on the floor. I told her to go back to bed before she got glass in her feet. She seemed upset to see me taking decorations off the tree before Christmas. I only took off the top half of the ornaments so that the tree might stay up better. I then pulled out the vacuum cleaned up the mess and stumbled back to bed. Chris calls 2 hours later. his mom 2 hours after that and then my aunt. I told everyone to let me sleep I am exhausted and to try back at noon!
Noon has rolled around. To my surprise Chris is on the road! Good news right? WRONG! He was 40 miles from the base left at 11am and traffic was awful! Ok I kept thinking maybe this will clear up he will be here on time. Oh did I mention it was SNOWING!!! For those of you who wished for snow for Christmas I so thank you! ( note sarcasm!) I make the icing for the jello salad the mixer doesn't work so I have to do it by hand. I plop on the couch with the kids and listen to some Christmas music and decide to check on Chris progress to see how far he had come. At this point its around 2pm he has to almost be here right?! He is stuck on 20 its so backed up he can't move. He is 198 miles from downtown Ft Worth! Good Lord! I call in a panic tell my aunt to send my uncle to get us now its rush mode! I had to be ready by 4! I figure surely by this point Chris would be almost here and meet us over at my aunts.
As we are leaving I check again. No dice he hasn't moved and there is a wreck! REALLY!! Good grief. What the heck happened to this being my best Christmas ever?! Mopey I head to my aunts with the kids. They are excited but worried about where Chris is. I find out the highway is shut down. No progress and finally we realize he just isn't coming. 2 over turned tractor trailers caused such a mess the highway was closed. Its still snowing and the roads are horrible. By 7pm or so I find that they have to get a police escort and may not go more than 20 miles an hour! I am really upset now and feel like I am losing my Christmas spirit complete!
Get home around 8 to about 4 inches of snow on my steps that lead me to my porch that is also totally covered in snow and hard to maneuver on! Is everything out to get me?! Will I catch a break at all?! I come in change walk down to Jason's borrow a broom to clean off the stairs and patio. Found table salt used the whole thing to make sure I have a safe walk way for when Chris gets here or the kids which ever makes it here first! I stood out on my patio for about 30 minutes staring off thinking about this year. I spent some time talking to my brother thanking him for the snow! Telling him how much I miss him. I think I finally reached a point where I was actually grieving his death and not just pretending like he just isn't talking to me or something. I felt so much better and was able to come inside and just relax.
It's 10pm now the snow has stopped. I just went outside and the sky has started to clear up and the moon is out making the snow look even more amazing. Still no word from Chris and I am afraid to call for fear of distracting him. So I am curled up on the couch with the new warm throw my sister got me for Christmas with some candles lit watching Lifetime Christmas movies. I am hoping to see some improvement in luck tomorrow. The kids are excited and that's what matters right?! I can't wait for them to get to Abilene and see their goodies. Just spoke to my aunt and we will be heading to her house in the morning to have a quick breakfast get together and to pick up Chris's shoes that I left there since I thought he would be meeting us there. Maybe things are looking up and changing now. Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Catching up!
Wow its been like 2.5 weeks since I wrote. Life this time of year has a way of getting away from you. It certainly has in this house. Saturday marked the end of our most hectic time of year with the Holiday Tree Lighting Celebration at the Galleria. So much has been going on and I have wanted to blog but when I get home lately all I want to do is crash and burn. So now that I am on vacation for the next 12 days I will have no excuses right?!
So here is the long and short of whats been happening with us:
1. The divorce is final and life has been going super well. In fact it was more quick and painless than I had expected it to be.
2. I learned that these Ice shows take a ton out of you! Next year I will not be skating I will happily enjoy watching my kids skate while I do the mom thing and take a zillion pictures!!
3. Having an extra set of hands around has been great even if it is only on the weekends! Still help is help right?!
4. I am super excited about Christmas this year since its all about family and I can't wait! Thursday Chris and I will take the girls skating at the mall like we have done in the past every year. Breakfast first at Corner Bakery then skate till we crash, head to my aunt/mom's house for Christmas Eve dinner, Friday morning head to Abilene where the kids will have all their Christmas goodies! I can't wait to see their faces!
5. A fun trip planned to Abilene the week I am off to work! The kids are excited we have so much fun stuff planned!
6. 2010 holds a lot of fun and exciting things and I can't wait to get it kicked off! I know this year will be amazing!
7. Hannah seems to be doing better with school. We are trying to stay positive and keep focused. Extra help might still be needed we will see.
8. I am super proud of myself for finishing my Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve this year!
9. Oops take that back I need to find a snow globe! Hannah has been begging for one anyone have a clue as to where to find one? Hopefully before Christmas?!
10. I surprised Chris with what I like to think is a awesome Christmas gift. He got a 1yr old Black Lab named Lily on Sunday! He is in love! I am thrilled. He isn't easy to shop for!
Well I am 2 hours into my break and I am loving the fact that tomorrow we skate and that's it! I just have to make jello salad for Christmas Eve dinner. Trust me that's a piece of cake so I can't stress! I am excited to spend this Christmas with Chris and family. He hasn't been home for a Christmas in 3 years so I wanted this to be super special for him. I hope I succeed in this task.
Trust me pictures will be posted here and FB of our holiday fun! By the way check out our first holiday family photo! I think actually this is our first "family photo!" Not how thrilled we look. It was a long day!
Happy Holidays all and a wonderful blessed New Year! Time to snack and chill with my kids! They want some mommy time!!!
So here is the long and short of whats been happening with us:
1. The divorce is final and life has been going super well. In fact it was more quick and painless than I had expected it to be.
2. I learned that these Ice shows take a ton out of you! Next year I will not be skating I will happily enjoy watching my kids skate while I do the mom thing and take a zillion pictures!!
3. Having an extra set of hands around has been great even if it is only on the weekends! Still help is help right?!
4. I am super excited about Christmas this year since its all about family and I can't wait! Thursday Chris and I will take the girls skating at the mall like we have done in the past every year. Breakfast first at Corner Bakery then skate till we crash, head to my aunt/mom's house for Christmas Eve dinner, Friday morning head to Abilene where the kids will have all their Christmas goodies! I can't wait to see their faces!
5. A fun trip planned to Abilene the week I am off to work! The kids are excited we have so much fun stuff planned!
6. 2010 holds a lot of fun and exciting things and I can't wait to get it kicked off! I know this year will be amazing!
7. Hannah seems to be doing better with school. We are trying to stay positive and keep focused. Extra help might still be needed we will see.
8. I am super proud of myself for finishing my Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve this year!
9. Oops take that back I need to find a snow globe! Hannah has been begging for one anyone have a clue as to where to find one? Hopefully before Christmas?!
10. I surprised Chris with what I like to think is a awesome Christmas gift. He got a 1yr old Black Lab named Lily on Sunday! He is in love! I am thrilled. He isn't easy to shop for!
Well I am 2 hours into my break and I am loving the fact that tomorrow we skate and that's it! I just have to make jello salad for Christmas Eve dinner. Trust me that's a piece of cake so I can't stress! I am excited to spend this Christmas with Chris and family. He hasn't been home for a Christmas in 3 years so I wanted this to be super special for him. I hope I succeed in this task.
Trust me pictures will be posted here and FB of our holiday fun! By the way check out our first holiday family photo! I think actually this is our first "family photo!" Not how thrilled we look. It was a long day!
Happy Holidays all and a wonderful blessed New Year! Time to snack and chill with my kids! They want some mommy time!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
12 hours and counting....
Its 9:15pm and by this time tomorrow morning my life is going to take a big change. A change that I have been waiting on for almost 3 years. Tomorrow morning at 9am I will be divorced. Everything will be final and official. I will be Jamie Lauren Goldstrich. Dimmitt will be a part of my past. I have very mixed emotions and feelings about all of this. Yes unfortunate things happened in my marriage and some of which we got through others I just couldn't look past. Three years ago at this time my life was about to come to a screeching halt. Three years ago Sean was admitted to Children's Hospital for 10 days and it was right after Thanksgiving. Jason and I where working for the same company and things had been pretty tense and out of sorts there.
Exactly 3 years go on Dec 2nd Hannah skated in a Ice Show with Sasha Cohen and that was also the start of the day that would soon change the rest of my life/marriage. Hind sight I guess I should have done a few things different but I can't and that's ok. I learned when my gut is nagging and telling me something and things don't add up then listen to the gut its right. The weeks following are almost a blur to me now. I think the days I won't ever forget though are those that are forever burned into my memory. The day I was told that a man from the secret service was coming to talk to me for one is a day that I just can't put out of my mind. Try having a damn near 7ft tall man come in and interview/question you on your husbands whereabouts and his past. Then try convincing that same big guy you only know what you know and are clueless about this whole questioning. I think the highlight is facing two grown men who you have known for years, considered friends, played hockey with, and who gave you job and tell them how sorry you are for your husbands actions and that you swear on your life your fathers grave you knew nothing and had nothing to do with it. These where things I faced 3 years ago. I had to call my mother and tell her to take the kids out of the house so that police and secret service could come search the house and question Jason. It was a sick feeling a numbing feeling. How about facing your husband of 5years and telling him you know the truth and how horribly upset and disgusted you are with him.
To fill in the gaps here 3 years ago Jason and I worked for two brothers one who worked for a video production company and the other ran a janitorial service. I worked for both Jason worked for the janitorial company. Checks and money started coming up missing and it was about this time that it had been very noticeable. I made the deposits so I was the first to be questioned. The bank and statements matched my stories so of course I was no longer involved. The days went on and we figured now we had the guy how did it. The back of my mind nagged that Jason was a part of it but I couldn't bring myself to rat him out. Besides what happened if I was wrong?! Finally Sean was released from the hospital and I was working a somewhat normal schedule again. But when that damn near 7ft tall guy came to talk to me it was all over. I knew at that point and time my gut was right and I was a fool for not saying something. That and the fact the guy at the check cashing place said he had to keep my check because we where writing bad checks. I knew then that something was wrong. I called Joe and told him. He was as shocked as I was but we kept quiet till we knew more. More was just days away.
I had police search my place and confiscate things for evidence and for legal use. I was told they had to do a warrant and that they would notify me so that I could have Jason turn himself in. Oh did I mention because of this I was now unemployed? Yes his actions and my nieveness lead me to lose my job. He still had his rink job and I was so mad but looking back now I am glad he had it. I spent a lot of time those next few days soul searching, thinking, contemplating. December 14th I was with the kids at the mall. I got the call that it was time to bring Jason back to the place where it all took place to turn him in. I went to the house with the kids. He got in the car it was a quiet tear filled ride. The secret service was there to take him into custody. I made sure the back windows where covered so that the kids didn't know what was going on. They just knew daddy was going away for a while. In all it was I think 14 counts 7 for check theft 7 for forgery. 3 checks never materialized I guess. Or where printed but never used. That's felonies for those where unsure. Not his first go round with this either.
The kids and I where in a fog for a while. Thankfully my mom and brother and sister where living with us at the time. This is back when I think my mom was almost in a better spot. She helped me keep a routine going, get help from the state, keep me positive and make sure Christmas still happened. I had a friend who was a big help that year. Christmas came and went and the kids where troopers. Hannah skated her ice shows and did amazing. They truly are resilient creatures.
The days following this where hard I was filled with anger and resentment. Though it seemed horrible changes came that have now put me where I am now. The kids started at the Community School and a few months later I got a wonderful job teaching there. Jason was out of jail by the first of the year and, by the grace of god, able to keep his job. The girls where still able to skate. We count our blessings. I got my first place on my own. It was a joke but still a first for me. I learned a lot about myself and it makes me proud now to know who I really am.
Three years later here I am. 12 hours from divorce, still teaching where I love, engaged to a wonderful loving supportive man, and the girls are still skating.
Walking into that courtroom will be hard tomorrow. I will be saying good bye to a person I was. I will be a different person. A man I fell in love with 9 years ago will now be the ex. I will have a new life now with a old familiar name I haven't used in years and thought was long gone. Jason was not a horrible thing that happened to me. He was a part of a life experience that I had. He gave me 2 wonderful daughters, he was a good man who tried to hard, he wanted to be what he couldn't and thought that's what I wanted. But life is a lesson and we live and learn. He is forever a part of my life. A part of me will always care about him. I have no ill will, no hate for him. He is a well liked man through his co workers and friends. He is a caring man who would help anyone. He still helps me and doesn't have to. Yes we fight, argue, make each other crazy. We are ex's its our job. But in some of my toughest times this year he has been there. For that I am thankful.
In 12 hours I am a Goldstrich again. Dimmitt is no longer a part of me. The girls are all I have to tie me to that. They will keep those memories alive for me. I can't believe its all coming to an end. How weird it will be to have my future husband be there for me when I am there to no longer be with my present husband. It's almost like a changing of the guards. One will take over while the other is released of his duties.
Good night all. Sweet dreams
Exactly 3 years go on Dec 2nd Hannah skated in a Ice Show with Sasha Cohen and that was also the start of the day that would soon change the rest of my life/marriage. Hind sight I guess I should have done a few things different but I can't and that's ok. I learned when my gut is nagging and telling me something and things don't add up then listen to the gut its right. The weeks following are almost a blur to me now. I think the days I won't ever forget though are those that are forever burned into my memory. The day I was told that a man from the secret service was coming to talk to me for one is a day that I just can't put out of my mind. Try having a damn near 7ft tall man come in and interview/question you on your husbands whereabouts and his past. Then try convincing that same big guy you only know what you know and are clueless about this whole questioning. I think the highlight is facing two grown men who you have known for years, considered friends, played hockey with, and who gave you job and tell them how sorry you are for your husbands actions and that you swear on your life your fathers grave you knew nothing and had nothing to do with it. These where things I faced 3 years ago. I had to call my mother and tell her to take the kids out of the house so that police and secret service could come search the house and question Jason. It was a sick feeling a numbing feeling. How about facing your husband of 5years and telling him you know the truth and how horribly upset and disgusted you are with him.
To fill in the gaps here 3 years ago Jason and I worked for two brothers one who worked for a video production company and the other ran a janitorial service. I worked for both Jason worked for the janitorial company. Checks and money started coming up missing and it was about this time that it had been very noticeable. I made the deposits so I was the first to be questioned. The bank and statements matched my stories so of course I was no longer involved. The days went on and we figured now we had the guy how did it. The back of my mind nagged that Jason was a part of it but I couldn't bring myself to rat him out. Besides what happened if I was wrong?! Finally Sean was released from the hospital and I was working a somewhat normal schedule again. But when that damn near 7ft tall guy came to talk to me it was all over. I knew at that point and time my gut was right and I was a fool for not saying something. That and the fact the guy at the check cashing place said he had to keep my check because we where writing bad checks. I knew then that something was wrong. I called Joe and told him. He was as shocked as I was but we kept quiet till we knew more. More was just days away.
I had police search my place and confiscate things for evidence and for legal use. I was told they had to do a warrant and that they would notify me so that I could have Jason turn himself in. Oh did I mention because of this I was now unemployed? Yes his actions and my nieveness lead me to lose my job. He still had his rink job and I was so mad but looking back now I am glad he had it. I spent a lot of time those next few days soul searching, thinking, contemplating. December 14th I was with the kids at the mall. I got the call that it was time to bring Jason back to the place where it all took place to turn him in. I went to the house with the kids. He got in the car it was a quiet tear filled ride. The secret service was there to take him into custody. I made sure the back windows where covered so that the kids didn't know what was going on. They just knew daddy was going away for a while. In all it was I think 14 counts 7 for check theft 7 for forgery. 3 checks never materialized I guess. Or where printed but never used. That's felonies for those where unsure. Not his first go round with this either.
The kids and I where in a fog for a while. Thankfully my mom and brother and sister where living with us at the time. This is back when I think my mom was almost in a better spot. She helped me keep a routine going, get help from the state, keep me positive and make sure Christmas still happened. I had a friend who was a big help that year. Christmas came and went and the kids where troopers. Hannah skated her ice shows and did amazing. They truly are resilient creatures.
The days following this where hard I was filled with anger and resentment. Though it seemed horrible changes came that have now put me where I am now. The kids started at the Community School and a few months later I got a wonderful job teaching there. Jason was out of jail by the first of the year and, by the grace of god, able to keep his job. The girls where still able to skate. We count our blessings. I got my first place on my own. It was a joke but still a first for me. I learned a lot about myself and it makes me proud now to know who I really am.
Three years later here I am. 12 hours from divorce, still teaching where I love, engaged to a wonderful loving supportive man, and the girls are still skating.
Walking into that courtroom will be hard tomorrow. I will be saying good bye to a person I was. I will be a different person. A man I fell in love with 9 years ago will now be the ex. I will have a new life now with a old familiar name I haven't used in years and thought was long gone. Jason was not a horrible thing that happened to me. He was a part of a life experience that I had. He gave me 2 wonderful daughters, he was a good man who tried to hard, he wanted to be what he couldn't and thought that's what I wanted. But life is a lesson and we live and learn. He is forever a part of my life. A part of me will always care about him. I have no ill will, no hate for him. He is a well liked man through his co workers and friends. He is a caring man who would help anyone. He still helps me and doesn't have to. Yes we fight, argue, make each other crazy. We are ex's its our job. But in some of my toughest times this year he has been there. For that I am thankful.
In 12 hours I am a Goldstrich again. Dimmitt is no longer a part of me. The girls are all I have to tie me to that. They will keep those memories alive for me. I can't believe its all coming to an end. How weird it will be to have my future husband be there for me when I am there to no longer be with my present husband. It's almost like a changing of the guards. One will take over while the other is released of his duties.
Good night all. Sweet dreams
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Weekend fun and Sunday's Suck!
Three blogs in one night! Wow I must be bored. No I am lonely now that Chris and his mom have headed back to Abilene and since I didn't get a chance to blog while they where here I figured I would break up the blogs into smaller ones. That way they didn't get all long and ramble!
Friday night since Sean was at his dad's house we decided to go out for more shopping. We headed to Addison and went to the new strip mall where Prestonwood Mall once stood. I needed new curlers for Ella so we went to Ulta and found the perfect ones we needed. Then off to Walmart. I needed stockings and a tree skirt. We walked around for a bit and grabbed the items I was looking for. We walked back to the I guess gardening department and ended up back where the real trees are. Now I am highly allergic to Christmas Tree's and Chris's mom gets a bad headache from the pine smell. So what better thing to do than walk in and check out the real trees. At first I was fine I love the smell of them and I really wish I could have a real tree. A few minutes later Chris notices my eyes start to swell and my voice is sounding scratchy. We walk out and I start wheezing! I was having a full on allergic reaction. Stupid me even touched the tree and proceeded to rub my eyes since they where itchy and watery! No I am not 2 years old and yes I do know better!! A temporary lapse in judgement I will just chalk it up to! After a few minutes I realize I don't have my inhaler and I am getting worse. We get the Walmart brand Benadryl and I quickly pop 2 of them. I get better with in a few minutes! We pay for our items and head to Michael's to get a few things to finish decorating!
We get our items at Michael's, go eat a Penara Bread and head home. The effects of the Benadryl are hitting me and I am getting sleepy! I apparently decorated the stockings with the kids names on them and even hung them up. I went to bed and sometime in there even got on Facebook and updated my status message. I had no idea til the next morning that I had done all this!
Saturday was the ice show nothing to exciting happened. I think honestly that was for the best! To much drama makes for an exhausting weekend.
Today was a busy day yet again. We got up, I got Sean ready for pictures with his dad and their family, and we had more shopping to do! After Sean left we got ready and headed over to Northpark. We picked out Sean's Christmas gift and then headed over to the mega Children's Place across the way in the new strip mall they are building. I found some cute clothes and shoes for them. Lunch at Chipotle and then off to David and Myranda's to pick up Sean. Hung out there for a bit, hogged her computer to look at all sorts of cute family pictures because I am so nosey like that, then headed off to Sam's to get my bulk items I need. Sean seemed terribly bored so we took him back to the house so he could hang out with Chris's mom and watch a movie. This gave Chris and I time to head to Target to get grocery shopping done and some alone time. We stocked up and 45 min later headed back home.
Sundays really suck for us because that means at 7:30pm he loads up to head back home. I know I can't really complain this is the life I choose but still its hard week after week to say good bye to the man you love so much. I tell myself that at least this way we won't ever get tired of each other since we hardly see each other ha ha! Ya that works really well (NOT!) I wish that we could change this but for now this is how it is and we are making it work it just needs more time for us to get used to it.
I tried to make leftovers for dinner and that was a disaster. I was having a real off night and just kinda messed up stuff. The kids barely ate and I really didn't either. I had Chris take the rest of the turkey home. Chris's mom kindly cleaned up the kitchen so that Chris and I could finish up our 4 loads of laundry. We both where getting a bit sad because we knew in just a bit we would be saying good bye and not good night like we had been the last few days. We got all the laundry up and it was time for them to hit the road. After a few minutes of a somewhat emotional good bye between him us the kids they left and they all just kinda came apart. I told them this is how its going to be and we all have to get used to it. Ella cried for about 45 minutes, Sean was slightly upset but trying to hide it and Hannah just sulked around. About 9 something everyone was finally out. I finally got my blogs going also.
So now it's 11pm. My allergies are kicking up again or at least I hope its that and not a cold. Ella is crashed out next to me and I am getting sort of sleepy myself. I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I guess if I look at the bright side it is pay day tomorrow and if things go well Chris might be back Wednesday night. So I have things to look forward too I just am in a mood right now. I will hate sleeping alone again in my bed tonight but that's just how it is. On that note I am going to end my marathon blogging and head off to bed. Night and sleep tight!
Friday night since Sean was at his dad's house we decided to go out for more shopping. We headed to Addison and went to the new strip mall where Prestonwood Mall once stood. I needed new curlers for Ella so we went to Ulta and found the perfect ones we needed. Then off to Walmart. I needed stockings and a tree skirt. We walked around for a bit and grabbed the items I was looking for. We walked back to the I guess gardening department and ended up back where the real trees are. Now I am highly allergic to Christmas Tree's and Chris's mom gets a bad headache from the pine smell. So what better thing to do than walk in and check out the real trees. At first I was fine I love the smell of them and I really wish I could have a real tree. A few minutes later Chris notices my eyes start to swell and my voice is sounding scratchy. We walk out and I start wheezing! I was having a full on allergic reaction. Stupid me even touched the tree and proceeded to rub my eyes since they where itchy and watery! No I am not 2 years old and yes I do know better!! A temporary lapse in judgement I will just chalk it up to! After a few minutes I realize I don't have my inhaler and I am getting worse. We get the Walmart brand Benadryl and I quickly pop 2 of them. I get better with in a few minutes! We pay for our items and head to Michael's to get a few things to finish decorating!
We get our items at Michael's, go eat a Penara Bread and head home. The effects of the Benadryl are hitting me and I am getting sleepy! I apparently decorated the stockings with the kids names on them and even hung them up. I went to bed and sometime in there even got on Facebook and updated my status message. I had no idea til the next morning that I had done all this!
Saturday was the ice show nothing to exciting happened. I think honestly that was for the best! To much drama makes for an exhausting weekend.
Today was a busy day yet again. We got up, I got Sean ready for pictures with his dad and their family, and we had more shopping to do! After Sean left we got ready and headed over to Northpark. We picked out Sean's Christmas gift and then headed over to the mega Children's Place across the way in the new strip mall they are building. I found some cute clothes and shoes for them. Lunch at Chipotle and then off to David and Myranda's to pick up Sean. Hung out there for a bit, hogged her computer to look at all sorts of cute family pictures because I am so nosey like that, then headed off to Sam's to get my bulk items I need. Sean seemed terribly bored so we took him back to the house so he could hang out with Chris's mom and watch a movie. This gave Chris and I time to head to Target to get grocery shopping done and some alone time. We stocked up and 45 min later headed back home.
Sundays really suck for us because that means at 7:30pm he loads up to head back home. I know I can't really complain this is the life I choose but still its hard week after week to say good bye to the man you love so much. I tell myself that at least this way we won't ever get tired of each other since we hardly see each other ha ha! Ya that works really well (NOT!) I wish that we could change this but for now this is how it is and we are making it work it just needs more time for us to get used to it.
I tried to make leftovers for dinner and that was a disaster. I was having a real off night and just kinda messed up stuff. The kids barely ate and I really didn't either. I had Chris take the rest of the turkey home. Chris's mom kindly cleaned up the kitchen so that Chris and I could finish up our 4 loads of laundry. We both where getting a bit sad because we knew in just a bit we would be saying good bye and not good night like we had been the last few days. We got all the laundry up and it was time for them to hit the road. After a few minutes of a somewhat emotional good bye between him us the kids they left and they all just kinda came apart. I told them this is how its going to be and we all have to get used to it. Ella cried for about 45 minutes, Sean was slightly upset but trying to hide it and Hannah just sulked around. About 9 something everyone was finally out. I finally got my blogs going also.
So now it's 11pm. My allergies are kicking up again or at least I hope its that and not a cold. Ella is crashed out next to me and I am getting sort of sleepy myself. I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I guess if I look at the bright side it is pay day tomorrow and if things go well Chris might be back Wednesday night. So I have things to look forward too I just am in a mood right now. I will hate sleeping alone again in my bed tonight but that's just how it is. On that note I am going to end my marathon blogging and head off to bed. Night and sleep tight!
Galleria Tree Lighting Show!
With all the fun packed into the last few days I was a little ill prepared for what the first day of the ice show would bring. The night before I did my usual check of costumes, skates, hair stuff, makeup, ect. It was all in place and ready to go. After my early morning Black Friday fun I headed home to get myself ready first and then have Jason wake up the girls so they could come down to my house to get their hair done. After about 45 minutes of dealing with that. We all got ready and decided it was time to head off to the rink.
It was 9am still 3 hours till show time. Plenty of time you might think but not really. There was three of us this year to be dressed and ready to go no later than 11:15am. So that means that about 10:15am we need to start getting dressed. Yes it really does take an hour to get three of us dressed, make up on, hair done and skates tied. Its a marathon unlike any one you will ever train for! And when someone or something should throw a wrench into your plans it makes it all that much harder to deal with.
Minutes before we where all three due downstairs I remembered that Wednesday night we had Hannah's skates placed on the stretcher to give her just a little more room till we could get her new skates taken care of. I sent Hannah down to the rink to get her skates while I got Ella ready and her skates on. A few moments later my phone rang. I saw Jason down at the rink waving his hands wildly to get my attention. Something was wrong, really really wrong. He told me that Hannah's skate need to take top priority in getting paid for ect. Someone had messed with the machine that stretches her skates and had ruined them. He at the time thought they would be ok to skate in for the show today and tomorrow. I said ok I would look at them and get Hannah ready. Hannah had not noticed it since Jason didn't mention it to her. I took one look and said " Oh crap this is really bad!" I tried to put them on and she cried and screamed. They hurt bad. After a few moments Chris said he would take care of it and went down to talk to Jason. He told Jason due to the severity of this situation he wanted to help pay for Hannah's skates so she would be able to skate in good skates for the show. While that was a wonderful well beyond wonderful gesture the problem now lies with the skates need to be water proofed and need blades mounted. This process takes at least 24 hours! I went downstairs and told Holly and one of the coach's Patty along with Jason that no way these skates would work the pain was to great and she was really upset. We tried a hundred different things it only seemed to make things worse. Finally after heavy debate, and Hannah stating she would just sit out because it hurt to bad, we did the unthinkable! We quickly had Patrick mount the blades to brand new skates that have never been broken in and of course not water proofed. That is a huge no no in skating but for this the sacrifice was really worth it. 20 minutes later the new skates where on her feet felt better and the stiffness of the new skates was a non issues. Phew!
The first show was a huge success. The girls skated great from what I could see. I did well too. I have to admit it was nice doing a show again. I haven't skated in that show since I was a kid. Ella was slightly scared of Dan "Santa" this year. He has the fireworks on his skates and its a bit much if you are a little kid. Guess it was a good thing I was there to hold her so she didn't get upset.
My sister Dana and her twin boys Sam and Ethan where there along with their two friends and my sister Cameron. We had a huge yummy wonderful family lunch at Mi Cocina after the show. I can't thank my sister enough for that yummy treat! She is a great big sister and I love her. Now we just need to get Ethan out there on the ice to skate! He has been wanting to do it and I want to take him out and teach him.
The Saturday show seemed to go a bit smoother. No skate issues this time. Jason and i profusely thanked Chris for his generous help in getting the skates and Patrick for his help getting them skate ready for Hannah. The other treat that night was having my cousin Traci and her Daughter McKenzie come up and watch the show. She treated us to a lovely, yummy dinner at the Grand Lux. That was some yummy eating. The kids loved it because they had their own table and got to place their own order. They where very well behaved I must say. Thank you Traci for a yummy dinner. It was super sweet and wonderful of you!
Check out the pictures of us on Facebook. They turned out really great. I think we all look pretty darn cute. Who knows maybe I will end up skating in a few more of the Tree Lighting Shows!
It was 9am still 3 hours till show time. Plenty of time you might think but not really. There was three of us this year to be dressed and ready to go no later than 11:15am. So that means that about 10:15am we need to start getting dressed. Yes it really does take an hour to get three of us dressed, make up on, hair done and skates tied. Its a marathon unlike any one you will ever train for! And when someone or something should throw a wrench into your plans it makes it all that much harder to deal with.
Minutes before we where all three due downstairs I remembered that Wednesday night we had Hannah's skates placed on the stretcher to give her just a little more room till we could get her new skates taken care of. I sent Hannah down to the rink to get her skates while I got Ella ready and her skates on. A few moments later my phone rang. I saw Jason down at the rink waving his hands wildly to get my attention. Something was wrong, really really wrong. He told me that Hannah's skate need to take top priority in getting paid for ect. Someone had messed with the machine that stretches her skates and had ruined them. He at the time thought they would be ok to skate in for the show today and tomorrow. I said ok I would look at them and get Hannah ready. Hannah had not noticed it since Jason didn't mention it to her. I took one look and said " Oh crap this is really bad!" I tried to put them on and she cried and screamed. They hurt bad. After a few moments Chris said he would take care of it and went down to talk to Jason. He told Jason due to the severity of this situation he wanted to help pay for Hannah's skates so she would be able to skate in good skates for the show. While that was a wonderful well beyond wonderful gesture the problem now lies with the skates need to be water proofed and need blades mounted. This process takes at least 24 hours! I went downstairs and told Holly and one of the coach's Patty along with Jason that no way these skates would work the pain was to great and she was really upset. We tried a hundred different things it only seemed to make things worse. Finally after heavy debate, and Hannah stating she would just sit out because it hurt to bad, we did the unthinkable! We quickly had Patrick mount the blades to brand new skates that have never been broken in and of course not water proofed. That is a huge no no in skating but for this the sacrifice was really worth it. 20 minutes later the new skates where on her feet felt better and the stiffness of the new skates was a non issues. Phew!
The first show was a huge success. The girls skated great from what I could see. I did well too. I have to admit it was nice doing a show again. I haven't skated in that show since I was a kid. Ella was slightly scared of Dan "Santa" this year. He has the fireworks on his skates and its a bit much if you are a little kid. Guess it was a good thing I was there to hold her so she didn't get upset.
My sister Dana and her twin boys Sam and Ethan where there along with their two friends and my sister Cameron. We had a huge yummy wonderful family lunch at Mi Cocina after the show. I can't thank my sister enough for that yummy treat! She is a great big sister and I love her. Now we just need to get Ethan out there on the ice to skate! He has been wanting to do it and I want to take him out and teach him.
The Saturday show seemed to go a bit smoother. No skate issues this time. Jason and i profusely thanked Chris for his generous help in getting the skates and Patrick for his help getting them skate ready for Hannah. The other treat that night was having my cousin Traci and her Daughter McKenzie come up and watch the show. She treated us to a lovely, yummy dinner at the Grand Lux. That was some yummy eating. The kids loved it because they had their own table and got to place their own order. They where very well behaved I must say. Thank you Traci for a yummy dinner. It was super sweet and wonderful of you!
Check out the pictures of us on Facebook. They turned out really great. I think we all look pretty darn cute. Who knows maybe I will end up skating in a few more of the Tree Lighting Shows!
Yes I shop Black Friday, The early morning story!
I did something that I have never done in all of my adulthood.... I went shopping on Black Friday at 4am! Now some of you who saw my post on Facebook know that I along with Chris and his mom got up at 4am and proceeded to do some shopping. The funny part is I wasn't out looking for the best deals on gifts for family and friends I was actually looking for the best deal on a strapless bra and a new Christmas tree! Chris's mom was looking for a new spice rack, cooking utensils and towels. I know aren't we a sad bunch ha ha?! Chris decided to inform me late Thursday night that the dress I would be skating in for the ice show was not bra appropriate and that I would probably have to wear something else underneath it! Guess its a good thing I have him around. I decided to search Kohl's website to see what they had and while we where at it found a spice rack with a nice rebate and other items that Chris's mom needed. So hence our 4am Black Friday trip!
4am that alarm goes off and to my surprise we all get up get dressed and in good spirits head off to do some shopping. An even bigger surprise was getting to Kohls to see that the parking lot was not that full so we felt a bit better about going in for shopping. I was like the only women in the intimacy dept. looking for a bra ha ha. But hey I found it and it worked so who cares! Chris's mom got the items she was looking for so score one for us! The down side was the really long line to check out. We where some goofy slap happy people. Chris decided to try and throw his voice around like Jeff Dunham. I think the people around us did not find his ventriloquist like behavior funny at 4:30am or they didn't like the fact that we where not serious die hard Black Friday Shoppers. Who cares we got our stuff and we finally made our way out of there close to 5am.
Our next stop was Target. Funny story about that. So we pull in the back way to the Super Target and I was like "Holey cow no one is here yet!" "There is no way on Black Friday this store is not open something must be going on!" Sure enough we pull to the front of the store the whole left side of the parking lot is full of cars and there is a line from the front of the store down to Abrams! They apparently opened their doors at 5am so we got there just in time. Again not shopping for the big sale items that most of these crazy people standing in line where aiming for. Apparently there was a 31.5" flat screen going for dirt cheap and some crazy lady felt the need to buy 4 of them! Heck I was just there to get a new Christmas tree since the one I got last year broke. Again no one was over in that section so I didn't have to fight off people wanting to steal the tree I wanted!! Who cares we got our tree and that's all that matters!
We left there decided we where hungry for breakfast. It was now 5:30am and I joked hey lets get Cracker Barrel! I had to be home around 7 to get the girls hair curled for the show so we didn't figure we would have enough time to do it. Called Cracker Barrel turns out today they opened at 5am. We hopped on the highway and made it there by 6am! We grabbed a quick breakfast and made it home with time to spare!
I had a great time even though it was 4am! I was glad that Chris and his mom where up for the adventure at that hour. Maybe I will do more Black Friday shopping in the future!!
4am that alarm goes off and to my surprise we all get up get dressed and in good spirits head off to do some shopping. An even bigger surprise was getting to Kohls to see that the parking lot was not that full so we felt a bit better about going in for shopping. I was like the only women in the intimacy dept. looking for a bra ha ha. But hey I found it and it worked so who cares! Chris's mom got the items she was looking for so score one for us! The down side was the really long line to check out. We where some goofy slap happy people. Chris decided to try and throw his voice around like Jeff Dunham. I think the people around us did not find his ventriloquist like behavior funny at 4:30am or they didn't like the fact that we where not serious die hard Black Friday Shoppers. Who cares we got our stuff and we finally made our way out of there close to 5am.
Our next stop was Target. Funny story about that. So we pull in the back way to the Super Target and I was like "Holey cow no one is here yet!" "There is no way on Black Friday this store is not open something must be going on!" Sure enough we pull to the front of the store the whole left side of the parking lot is full of cars and there is a line from the front of the store down to Abrams! They apparently opened their doors at 5am so we got there just in time. Again not shopping for the big sale items that most of these crazy people standing in line where aiming for. Apparently there was a 31.5" flat screen going for dirt cheap and some crazy lady felt the need to buy 4 of them! Heck I was just there to get a new Christmas tree since the one I got last year broke. Again no one was over in that section so I didn't have to fight off people wanting to steal the tree I wanted!! Who cares we got our tree and that's all that matters!
We left there decided we where hungry for breakfast. It was now 5:30am and I joked hey lets get Cracker Barrel! I had to be home around 7 to get the girls hair curled for the show so we didn't figure we would have enough time to do it. Called Cracker Barrel turns out today they opened at 5am. We hopped on the highway and made it there by 6am! We grabbed a quick breakfast and made it home with time to spare!
I had a great time even though it was 4am! I was glad that Chris and his mom where up for the adventure at that hour. Maybe I will do more Black Friday shopping in the future!!
Gobble Till ya Wobble!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful and special Thanksgiving. (ok so I am a few days late please forgive me!) This year our Thanksgiving was a bit more special. I had Chris here and it was so nice to be able to share this holiday with him now that he is home. I also got to share it with his mother who also came down to celebrate with us. She was really great to have around and the kids seemed to really like her. I really do appreciate all she did for us while she was here.
So well I guess I should go back to Wednesday and start from there on how our fun Thanksgiving got kicked off. The girls, Sean and I got up early Wednesday to head to the rink for Hannah's lesson, to skate, shop and hang out. In my mad dash to get us all out the door I did something that might shock everyone.......... I left withOUT my CELL PHONE!! Yep I also managed to live with out for 8 hours! I honestly was fine the one thing that bothered me was that I didn't have a way to tell time. I also tried to borrow a friends phone to let Chris know where I was so he wouldn't worry but I forgot his number. We got home about 4ish and to my wonderful surprise Chris and his mom where at the house! The had just arrived a few moments before. After a while we decided we needed to head out to run a few quick errands. We made a stop at Micheal's where his mom picked out a couple of little Christmas trees for the kids to decorate with these really cute tiny ornaments. The kids had so much fun with it. While they did that we order pizza kicked back and just watched the kids have fun. One tree now sits on the kitchen table and the other in the bedroom with the princess tree.
Since the girls where spending Thanksgiving with Jason I took them down to his house around 9:30pm. Lets just say they where wired!!! I felt bad leaving them with Joe while Jason was at work but for the sake of our sanity at the house I had to do it! Apparently at 11pm when Jason got home they where still up! Sean actually went to bed rather quick after they left. I think the long day wore him out!
Thanksgiving day was great. Got up cleaned the house and got it ready for my sisters and their men to come by and hang out. We decided to do snack foods during the day and save our feast for the evening since my sisters had plans to eat meals else where. It was great to have my three sisters over and we also enjoyed the company of Ronnie and Nate. They stayed for a few hours before heading off to other houses for the day. We had a wonderful dinner that Chris's mom ended up doing most of the work on. She really went above and beyond on it. I had every intention of making the food but she did it and I think we where all better off for it ha ha!
I am so thankful for what I have. This family I have and my friends are simply amazing people. I thank God every day for them. I honestly do not know what I would do without them.
So well I guess I should go back to Wednesday and start from there on how our fun Thanksgiving got kicked off. The girls, Sean and I got up early Wednesday to head to the rink for Hannah's lesson, to skate, shop and hang out. In my mad dash to get us all out the door I did something that might shock everyone.......... I left withOUT my CELL PHONE!! Yep I also managed to live with out for 8 hours! I honestly was fine the one thing that bothered me was that I didn't have a way to tell time. I also tried to borrow a friends phone to let Chris know where I was so he wouldn't worry but I forgot his number. We got home about 4ish and to my wonderful surprise Chris and his mom where at the house! The had just arrived a few moments before. After a while we decided we needed to head out to run a few quick errands. We made a stop at Micheal's where his mom picked out a couple of little Christmas trees for the kids to decorate with these really cute tiny ornaments. The kids had so much fun with it. While they did that we order pizza kicked back and just watched the kids have fun. One tree now sits on the kitchen table and the other in the bedroom with the princess tree.
Since the girls where spending Thanksgiving with Jason I took them down to his house around 9:30pm. Lets just say they where wired!!! I felt bad leaving them with Joe while Jason was at work but for the sake of our sanity at the house I had to do it! Apparently at 11pm when Jason got home they where still up! Sean actually went to bed rather quick after they left. I think the long day wore him out!
Thanksgiving day was great. Got up cleaned the house and got it ready for my sisters and their men to come by and hang out. We decided to do snack foods during the day and save our feast for the evening since my sisters had plans to eat meals else where. It was great to have my three sisters over and we also enjoyed the company of Ronnie and Nate. They stayed for a few hours before heading off to other houses for the day. We had a wonderful dinner that Chris's mom ended up doing most of the work on. She really went above and beyond on it. I had every intention of making the food but she did it and I think we where all better off for it ha ha!
I am so thankful for what I have. This family I have and my friends are simply amazing people. I thank God every day for them. I honestly do not know what I would do without them.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Hurry up and wait!
This is a new line I am quickly becoming familiar with. I am really starting to get a idea of what I am really in for now, now that Chris is home. Last Monday Chris left to head off to Florida to get all of his stuff. While they hurried here I sat and waited and waited lol! Friday has never dragged on so much before. I was lucky and got to leave an hour and a half early from work. I was greeted by Chris and his mom out in his nice new truck! Ella was in awe of the view from how high up she was that she hardly spoke the whole way home!
I quickly packed up my stuff to get out on the road with my new family. The drive was fairly uneventful until right at the end. We made it all the way out to Abilene and as we exited the highway we quickly realized that our exit was a two way street. Playing chicken at 10pm is not recommended on poorly lit side roads!! I think Mary and I where wide awake after that! We where afraid of what Chris would say but he got out of his U-haul laughing making comments about it we all joked for a bit grabbed some dinner and headed to bed! We where beat!
Saturday we got on base after a yummy breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Of course I had to grab more ornaments for our Christmas tree! We got checked into the hotel on base and decided to head over to the BX and get a few items we need and head off to the mall of Abilene. For a mall it wasn't to bad. I found a Hallmark store and bought 3 more ornaments for the tree. These where special ones one was a photo family one that I want to get a picture of all of us to put in there, a special one for Chris and I, and a personalized one that I put all 6 of us on. You might be scratching your head going 6, there are only 5 of you?! Well no I am not expecting, but Chris does have a son. His son is 4 and his name is Connor. I decided since we are a family now that it makes sense to add him. Chris seemed a bit shocked but its true. I want him to feel included in our family. I love sentimental value that those kind of ornaments add. Christmas is that kind of time for me. All the ornaments I have have some sort of special meaning to myself or my children. I hope they carry that over to when they get older and have their own trees.
After a short rest, and a quick shower at the hotel I decided to treat Chris and his mom to dinner at Olive Garden. It was very yummy!! Head back to the hotel for a crummy night sleep and to wake up with a cold in the middle of the night. That was the worst night sleep I have had in a long time. I woke up in a foul mood. It might have had to do with being sick or knowing that it was Sunday and I had to head back home and start the week with our Chris. After a outing with his mom, I decided to stay behind, Chris and I started our drive back to Dallas. I was still in a mood and really didn't feel like talking. I guess this whole only seeing each other on the weekends thing is going to take some getting used to. I also think I wasn't thrilled about having to skate in the dress rehearsal. It adds stress to me and I feel a bit more overwhelmed. Hopefully I won't have to actually skate in the shows. Chris took me to practice and stuck around for a bit. Then he had to make his drive back to Abilene.
I am excited that Chris and his mother will be here for Thanksgiving and the rest of the week. I am experiencing so many firsts for me this year and some have been good and well some not so much. I think this first Thanksgiving with my new family will be exciting. I am hoping my sisters will stop by and spend some time with us. I have decided that I want to have a I guess last minute open house. Those who don't have a place to go, or those that just want to stop by and see us I am opening my house up to. The holidays are about giving, sharing and family. I feel like doing just that. The rest of this week is super busy to get ready for Thanksgiving. I hope that it goes well.
The girls skate in the Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony at the Dallas Galleria Mall Friday and Saturday. Friday the show starts at noon and Saturday it starts at 5pm. If you are going get there early and let me know so I can save you a spot by us up on the 1st floor by Macy's. The girls look cute and I will be taking tons of pictures. I hope that everyone gets a chance to stop by and see one of the shows before Christmas.
Well this is it for the night. The girls stayed up late because we painted pottery and watched a movie. Now its time for them to go to bed and me to call it a night so I can get through my last day of work for the week!
I quickly packed up my stuff to get out on the road with my new family. The drive was fairly uneventful until right at the end. We made it all the way out to Abilene and as we exited the highway we quickly realized that our exit was a two way street. Playing chicken at 10pm is not recommended on poorly lit side roads!! I think Mary and I where wide awake after that! We where afraid of what Chris would say but he got out of his U-haul laughing making comments about it we all joked for a bit grabbed some dinner and headed to bed! We where beat!
Saturday we got on base after a yummy breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Of course I had to grab more ornaments for our Christmas tree! We got checked into the hotel on base and decided to head over to the BX and get a few items we need and head off to the mall of Abilene. For a mall it wasn't to bad. I found a Hallmark store and bought 3 more ornaments for the tree. These where special ones one was a photo family one that I want to get a picture of all of us to put in there, a special one for Chris and I, and a personalized one that I put all 6 of us on. You might be scratching your head going 6, there are only 5 of you?! Well no I am not expecting, but Chris does have a son. His son is 4 and his name is Connor. I decided since we are a family now that it makes sense to add him. Chris seemed a bit shocked but its true. I want him to feel included in our family. I love sentimental value that those kind of ornaments add. Christmas is that kind of time for me. All the ornaments I have have some sort of special meaning to myself or my children. I hope they carry that over to when they get older and have their own trees.
After a short rest, and a quick shower at the hotel I decided to treat Chris and his mom to dinner at Olive Garden. It was very yummy!! Head back to the hotel for a crummy night sleep and to wake up with a cold in the middle of the night. That was the worst night sleep I have had in a long time. I woke up in a foul mood. It might have had to do with being sick or knowing that it was Sunday and I had to head back home and start the week with our Chris. After a outing with his mom, I decided to stay behind, Chris and I started our drive back to Dallas. I was still in a mood and really didn't feel like talking. I guess this whole only seeing each other on the weekends thing is going to take some getting used to. I also think I wasn't thrilled about having to skate in the dress rehearsal. It adds stress to me and I feel a bit more overwhelmed. Hopefully I won't have to actually skate in the shows. Chris took me to practice and stuck around for a bit. Then he had to make his drive back to Abilene.
I am excited that Chris and his mother will be here for Thanksgiving and the rest of the week. I am experiencing so many firsts for me this year and some have been good and well some not so much. I think this first Thanksgiving with my new family will be exciting. I am hoping my sisters will stop by and spend some time with us. I have decided that I want to have a I guess last minute open house. Those who don't have a place to go, or those that just want to stop by and see us I am opening my house up to. The holidays are about giving, sharing and family. I feel like doing just that. The rest of this week is super busy to get ready for Thanksgiving. I hope that it goes well.
The girls skate in the Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony at the Dallas Galleria Mall Friday and Saturday. Friday the show starts at noon and Saturday it starts at 5pm. If you are going get there early and let me know so I can save you a spot by us up on the 1st floor by Macy's. The girls look cute and I will be taking tons of pictures. I hope that everyone gets a chance to stop by and see one of the shows before Christmas.
Well this is it for the night. The girls stayed up late because we painted pottery and watched a movie. Now its time for them to go to bed and me to call it a night so I can get through my last day of work for the week!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A world of craziness!!
WOW its been about 10 days since I last wrote. I had every intention of writing but with all that's been going on I really had no time to stop and write. I planned on writing the Thursday before Chris came home but someone had other plans. As most of you know Chris came home a day early and wow everyone seemed to know it but me! I posted a note about it on FB so you will have to check it out if you haven't already. I can honestly say he never seems to stop amazing me and is always full of surprises. I love it and I hope it never stops!
Some of the highlights of his homecoming beyond him coming home a day early where........ having and extra set of hands to help out around the house, a lunch date during the week, shopping for his new wardrobe ( there are some pictures on FB!), seeing my aunt Karen and Uncle Doug, getting to see the rehearsals for the ice show, our trip to Abilene to poke around the base and check out the houses ( my favorite part!), my friends 30th birthday dinner along with a evening at the W hotel. These where just a few of the highlights but honestly just having him home and spending time with us was the greatest part of all. I will admit though it tossed my usual routine through a loop but we quickly readjusted. As always the trip went by way to fast. It was Monday morning before we knew it. That right there was bitter sweet. Yes he left to go to Florida but that means he will be heading back to move and will be here for Thanksgiving and on the weekends now! There is my silver lining.
Monday was for sure a readjustment for all of us. We came home from work and I felt that stress of all that I had to do building up. I got through it though we did home work, ordered pizza and got settled in to bed ( my bed!) I have struck a horrible deal with my kids which I know I will pay for somehow some way but I am picking and choosing my battles now. If it gets them to go to bed then fine let them lay in my bed while I am out in the living room cleaning, using the computer what ever. I just move them to their beds when I am ready for bed. For now it works so I am going with it. Today was much better and on the upside Chris got a new truck. He is busy packing up the U-Haul with his family so his mom and him can leave bright and early Wednesday morning to make the trip to Texas. The plan is to get here Friday pick me up head to Abilene to spend the weekend. I am excited because I will be spending my weekend on base. That is a whole new experience right there. I enjoyed my trip there last weekend so I am sure this will be much more fun and exciting.
Well it's time to wrap this up. Chris is on the phone and laundry needs to be put away. Hopefully I will get back in the habit of writing. I have truly missed it actually. Have a great week everyone!
Some of the highlights of his homecoming beyond him coming home a day early where........ having and extra set of hands to help out around the house, a lunch date during the week, shopping for his new wardrobe ( there are some pictures on FB!), seeing my aunt Karen and Uncle Doug, getting to see the rehearsals for the ice show, our trip to Abilene to poke around the base and check out the houses ( my favorite part!), my friends 30th birthday dinner along with a evening at the W hotel. These where just a few of the highlights but honestly just having him home and spending time with us was the greatest part of all. I will admit though it tossed my usual routine through a loop but we quickly readjusted. As always the trip went by way to fast. It was Monday morning before we knew it. That right there was bitter sweet. Yes he left to go to Florida but that means he will be heading back to move and will be here for Thanksgiving and on the weekends now! There is my silver lining.
Monday was for sure a readjustment for all of us. We came home from work and I felt that stress of all that I had to do building up. I got through it though we did home work, ordered pizza and got settled in to bed ( my bed!) I have struck a horrible deal with my kids which I know I will pay for somehow some way but I am picking and choosing my battles now. If it gets them to go to bed then fine let them lay in my bed while I am out in the living room cleaning, using the computer what ever. I just move them to their beds when I am ready for bed. For now it works so I am going with it. Today was much better and on the upside Chris got a new truck. He is busy packing up the U-Haul with his family so his mom and him can leave bright and early Wednesday morning to make the trip to Texas. The plan is to get here Friday pick me up head to Abilene to spend the weekend. I am excited because I will be spending my weekend on base. That is a whole new experience right there. I enjoyed my trip there last weekend so I am sure this will be much more fun and exciting.
Well it's time to wrap this up. Chris is on the phone and laundry needs to be put away. Hopefully I will get back in the habit of writing. I have truly missed it actually. Have a great week everyone!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
72 hours and counting.....
This will more than likely be short and sweet but in 72 hours Chris comes home. I feel weird obsessing about it but then again the whole deal is so exciting. Right now he is on a bus for a long trip to Seoul where he will stay till he leaves at 6am Friday morning. I just found out that there have been changes with his flight so he has to be at the airport at 6am since they are moving people around. So there is a chance he won't be in at 3:30pm like planned but either earlier or later. I am a planner I need to know these things. Another box arrived yesterday so we are at 4 boxes with only 4 more to go. The house is coming along quiet nicely. I just have a few minor things left. I can complete most of that tomorrow and if not I can do it Thursday once we get home from the rink.
Today was the first day I woke up with a bad case of nerves. I was starting to feel it last night and didn't want to eat dinner. I crashed out quickly and woke up with this crazy feeling in my stomach. Was I coming down with something? Did I sleep weird? Ohhhhh no its nerves!!! I barely ate today either. I would try and feel ick. I tried to snack it worked out ok for me. I was so busy with Hannah's project I didn't feel like eating again tonight. Chris gave me a lecture on eating before he left tonight. But part way through our conversation his stomach started doing flip flops so hummmm right? Tomorrow being Wednesday I am at the half way point of the week and I think my nerves will get a bit worse and the anxiety will increase! While we are at the rink Thursday he be heading to the airport. I doubt sleep will happen at all that night.
So many thoughts and emotions right now its insane. I am ADD as it is so this is only adding to my problem ha ha! I am working on a project with Hannah for school so this is something else to occupy the mind also. I only burned 7 of my 10 fingers tonight with the glue so at least I didn't get them all!! While I want to curse her teacher for a project the week my fiance comes home and I have a million and one things to do I also sort of welcome a new challenge to get my mind off of things. Her teacher and I played a bit of phone tag today. We both wanted to talk and discuss her progress with her tutor. I see improvement. Lets hope she agrees. Well time to end my shortest blog yet. I feel the eyes getting sleepy. I have laundry covering the bed so I am out on the couch. This lazy tactic also is doubling in the fact that after this week I will be in my own room. So far Ella has adjusted well. I was on the couch last night and she didn't notice. Lets hope it goes the same tonight. Well thanks for reading my crazy ramblings. I feel a bit better now. Night night!!
Today was the first day I woke up with a bad case of nerves. I was starting to feel it last night and didn't want to eat dinner. I crashed out quickly and woke up with this crazy feeling in my stomach. Was I coming down with something? Did I sleep weird? Ohhhhh no its nerves!!! I barely ate today either. I would try and feel ick. I tried to snack it worked out ok for me. I was so busy with Hannah's project I didn't feel like eating again tonight. Chris gave me a lecture on eating before he left tonight. But part way through our conversation his stomach started doing flip flops so hummmm right? Tomorrow being Wednesday I am at the half way point of the week and I think my nerves will get a bit worse and the anxiety will increase! While we are at the rink Thursday he be heading to the airport. I doubt sleep will happen at all that night.
So many thoughts and emotions right now its insane. I am ADD as it is so this is only adding to my problem ha ha! I am working on a project with Hannah for school so this is something else to occupy the mind also. I only burned 7 of my 10 fingers tonight with the glue so at least I didn't get them all!! While I want to curse her teacher for a project the week my fiance comes home and I have a million and one things to do I also sort of welcome a new challenge to get my mind off of things. Her teacher and I played a bit of phone tag today. We both wanted to talk and discuss her progress with her tutor. I see improvement. Lets hope she agrees. Well time to end my shortest blog yet. I feel the eyes getting sleepy. I have laundry covering the bed so I am out on the couch. This lazy tactic also is doubling in the fact that after this week I will be in my own room. So far Ella has adjusted well. I was on the couch last night and she didn't notice. Lets hope it goes the same tonight. Well thanks for reading my crazy ramblings. I feel a bit better now. Night night!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Yikes
Hope everyone had a great Halloween. Mine was great even though I didn't spend it with my kiddo's this year. I do know they all had a great time so I do not feel bad that I was not with them. I had my own fun and I think it was just what I needed. My sister Robyn and I went to Gloria's for dinner and some 'ritas and then rented I Love You Man. I think we where to busy talking and chasing a dog in a field to really pay attention to the movie. The dog we where chasing was Dakota and as always he gets off his leash and like to make a mad run around the field. I had gone down to talk to Jason about the girls Trick or Treating and Robyn came down so that well I didn't look like an idiot having been slightly ok more than slightly buzzed. After about 10 min or so we made our way back to my place and had lost track of the movie and Robyn decided to leave to meet up with a friend I called it a night. Tequila and I do not get along very well anymore apparently. I think adding Smirnoff to it didn't help my matters either!!
These past few days have been eventful to say the least. Friday at 4am while sleeping soundly in my warm and comfy bed my phone rang. I am used to these early morning calls with the 14 hour time difference and all so all groggy and tired I answered the phone. After my "Hey baby how are you?" came the words.... " Hey baby you might not remember this phone call and please don't be mad." Yeah those are words any person like to hear especially at this hour. I figured after his doctors apt. that day maybe they had discovered that something was seriously wrong and he would need to stay or something. I was not prepared to hear what had actually happened! Chris had lost his wallet in a taxi off base and it had his drivers lisc., credit and debit cards, and his govt. ID. I was wide awake sat up I said some choice words got upset and then worried. He might not be coming home as planned and if he did he wouldn't be coming to Texas but Florida first. I was really trying hard to mask my disappointment and anger. It's not like he meant to but I was frustrated because of plans that we had been making and the way I had changed my schedule around. I never voiced this because it was really selfish on my part and figured it really didn't need to be said aloud. I finally hung up crying and went back to sleep for about 45 minutes before my phone rang at 5am. This time it was his mom. I explained what happened and what I had suggested. Yes I had rational thinking and logic at 4am half awake. I was impressed. I hung up with her got comfortable and settled back in bed and then at 6am my phone rang yet again! Chris was calling from the bar before the Jersey Retirement party. He apologized said that his mom was getting a new lisc for him online. We worked out that his new ID and credit cards once they came to Fl. could just be sent overnight to Myranda and would more than likely be here before he arrived Friday afternoon. I tried to lay back down but 3o minutes later the alarm went off and my days begun. Well it began officially now I guess. I called Chris' mom we talked for a bit while I made lunches and got the girls ready.
Ella got to wear her Halloween costume and Hannah wore her Halloween shirt to school. We started praying the rain would stop so that Ella and I could go trick or treating with her class that morning. Fortunately the rain stopped the sun came out and it was a beautiful day! I have pictures posted on Facebook so if you are on there go check them out. She is super cute!!
Saturday was a blast for Sean and I. I participated in my very first Boy Scout outing. Sean had a Boy Scout fun day at Camp Wisdom and as leery as I was about it I went because I know how much this means to Sean. Wow was I in for a treat. These boys went non stop from 8am till 2:30pm. They all got along and had so much fun with all the activities. Some where team building type exercises but others where just fun let off steam activities. Sean got to shoot a bow and arrow for the first time and after 5 tries on his 6th one he hit the center of the hay stack! He was so excited he wanted to keep going but we had to leave. He also shot a BB gun for the first time and although he did not hit the target he did hit the paper a few times and again loved it. He can't wait to go shot another gun. All I could think of the whole times was the line from The Christmas Story where the mom says "You'll shoot your eye out!" He was safe and really paid attention. So I really had nothing to worry about. They also had a pumpkin launch and he rocked at that. I again have pictures on Facebook. You will have to see him with these mini pumpkins. It was a hoot. He launched them further than most of the boys. He had his plan of attack all figured out by the time was ready to launch. I was pretty impressed. I can't wait to make another one of these outings. Who knows I might venture out for a camp out if I feel brave enough!
The count down now is at 4 and a half days. I woke up with a nervous stomach this morning. Well I think it was that maybe it was the drinks I had the night before. It had really start to hit me that this was it my last weekend alone. This has been a crazy ride and to know that I am days, hours, minutes from him arrival just makes me get all emotional and nervous. The thing that has made it significant is 3 of his boxes from Korea arrived yesterday and Myranda just brought them over to me. I am looking at them over by the wall in the living room and thinking " Wow this is it!" My life is really about to change. I will have a new life starting in about 100 hours. Ya 100 hours. That's really not a lot of time if you think about how many hours are in a day. Monday and Tuesday I should function probably just fine and Wednesday being the last day I will be able to talk to him prior to his leaving I know I will be a total mess. That being Thursday there he will be going to stay downtown at a hotel close to the airport so that the following morning he can board his plane and leave that craziness behind. Is it weird to be sad that its over. I mean I should prefer having him here right? But even though he was far away the times we had on the phone and computer where fun. Talking with Adi and hearing all his stories just made me feel like I was there. I know that seems crazy but I will miss this time because it was a major part of our relationship and made us who we are right now. I am sitting here crying because I keep thinking that this is really it.
When I wake up Friday morning I will head to work alone and come home with the man of my dreams that night. My weekends will be with my two favorite men and I will be so happy. For the two weeks he is here I want to do nothing but make the most of it. I want to do everything he wants to do go to places he wants to go to, see family and friends he wants to see and that want to see him! I won't be so sad this holiday season. I love my kids and they make me feel so happy and complete but having Chris really just solidifies it and makes me feel like I am a good person and I am worthy of being loved and appreciated. I know my children want to see me happy and I am now. I am very happy. I am scared and excited too. I will of course keep this blog going because I want to make sure that I still can communicate everything in our lives even though Chris is home. I have enjoyed this blog and I know the family and friends who are not near by like reading this.
Well the house work is calling my name now. I still have cleaning and laundry to get done. I am sure as the time gets closer you will see one more blog before the arrival of Chris. So "Yikes!!" this is almost over I am so happy. And maybe now I can fall back on a more normal sleep schedule too!!
These past few days have been eventful to say the least. Friday at 4am while sleeping soundly in my warm and comfy bed my phone rang. I am used to these early morning calls with the 14 hour time difference and all so all groggy and tired I answered the phone. After my "Hey baby how are you?" came the words.... " Hey baby you might not remember this phone call and please don't be mad." Yeah those are words any person like to hear especially at this hour. I figured after his doctors apt. that day maybe they had discovered that something was seriously wrong and he would need to stay or something. I was not prepared to hear what had actually happened! Chris had lost his wallet in a taxi off base and it had his drivers lisc., credit and debit cards, and his govt. ID. I was wide awake sat up I said some choice words got upset and then worried. He might not be coming home as planned and if he did he wouldn't be coming to Texas but Florida first. I was really trying hard to mask my disappointment and anger. It's not like he meant to but I was frustrated because of plans that we had been making and the way I had changed my schedule around. I never voiced this because it was really selfish on my part and figured it really didn't need to be said aloud. I finally hung up crying and went back to sleep for about 45 minutes before my phone rang at 5am. This time it was his mom. I explained what happened and what I had suggested. Yes I had rational thinking and logic at 4am half awake. I was impressed. I hung up with her got comfortable and settled back in bed and then at 6am my phone rang yet again! Chris was calling from the bar before the Jersey Retirement party. He apologized said that his mom was getting a new lisc for him online. We worked out that his new ID and credit cards once they came to Fl. could just be sent overnight to Myranda and would more than likely be here before he arrived Friday afternoon. I tried to lay back down but 3o minutes later the alarm went off and my days begun. Well it began officially now I guess. I called Chris' mom we talked for a bit while I made lunches and got the girls ready.
Ella got to wear her Halloween costume and Hannah wore her Halloween shirt to school. We started praying the rain would stop so that Ella and I could go trick or treating with her class that morning. Fortunately the rain stopped the sun came out and it was a beautiful day! I have pictures posted on Facebook so if you are on there go check them out. She is super cute!!
Saturday was a blast for Sean and I. I participated in my very first Boy Scout outing. Sean had a Boy Scout fun day at Camp Wisdom and as leery as I was about it I went because I know how much this means to Sean. Wow was I in for a treat. These boys went non stop from 8am till 2:30pm. They all got along and had so much fun with all the activities. Some where team building type exercises but others where just fun let off steam activities. Sean got to shoot a bow and arrow for the first time and after 5 tries on his 6th one he hit the center of the hay stack! He was so excited he wanted to keep going but we had to leave. He also shot a BB gun for the first time and although he did not hit the target he did hit the paper a few times and again loved it. He can't wait to go shot another gun. All I could think of the whole times was the line from The Christmas Story where the mom says "You'll shoot your eye out!" He was safe and really paid attention. So I really had nothing to worry about. They also had a pumpkin launch and he rocked at that. I again have pictures on Facebook. You will have to see him with these mini pumpkins. It was a hoot. He launched them further than most of the boys. He had his plan of attack all figured out by the time was ready to launch. I was pretty impressed. I can't wait to make another one of these outings. Who knows I might venture out for a camp out if I feel brave enough!
The count down now is at 4 and a half days. I woke up with a nervous stomach this morning. Well I think it was that maybe it was the drinks I had the night before. It had really start to hit me that this was it my last weekend alone. This has been a crazy ride and to know that I am days, hours, minutes from him arrival just makes me get all emotional and nervous. The thing that has made it significant is 3 of his boxes from Korea arrived yesterday and Myranda just brought them over to me. I am looking at them over by the wall in the living room and thinking " Wow this is it!" My life is really about to change. I will have a new life starting in about 100 hours. Ya 100 hours. That's really not a lot of time if you think about how many hours are in a day. Monday and Tuesday I should function probably just fine and Wednesday being the last day I will be able to talk to him prior to his leaving I know I will be a total mess. That being Thursday there he will be going to stay downtown at a hotel close to the airport so that the following morning he can board his plane and leave that craziness behind. Is it weird to be sad that its over. I mean I should prefer having him here right? But even though he was far away the times we had on the phone and computer where fun. Talking with Adi and hearing all his stories just made me feel like I was there. I know that seems crazy but I will miss this time because it was a major part of our relationship and made us who we are right now. I am sitting here crying because I keep thinking that this is really it.
When I wake up Friday morning I will head to work alone and come home with the man of my dreams that night. My weekends will be with my two favorite men and I will be so happy. For the two weeks he is here I want to do nothing but make the most of it. I want to do everything he wants to do go to places he wants to go to, see family and friends he wants to see and that want to see him! I won't be so sad this holiday season. I love my kids and they make me feel so happy and complete but having Chris really just solidifies it and makes me feel like I am a good person and I am worthy of being loved and appreciated. I know my children want to see me happy and I am now. I am very happy. I am scared and excited too. I will of course keep this blog going because I want to make sure that I still can communicate everything in our lives even though Chris is home. I have enjoyed this blog and I know the family and friends who are not near by like reading this.
Well the house work is calling my name now. I still have cleaning and laundry to get done. I am sure as the time gets closer you will see one more blog before the arrival of Chris. So "Yikes!!" this is almost over I am so happy. And maybe now I can fall back on a more normal sleep schedule too!!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Just feel like writing
It's a quiet night here at the house and I am taking this opportunity to write. I meant to mention in my last blog about our fun filled cousin luncheon at the Olive Garden. Recently on Facebook my dad's side of the family have been reconnecting with one another and so sent a mass email and decided a date to all meet, greet, eat and have fun catching up. I was thrilled because I love seeing family when i can and I spoke with one of my half sisters, Robyn, and she said she would go and we decided perfect we will go and hang out and see who shows up. My aunt Sue from California made it along with her son Gary who lives here in Dallas. Both of them I have not seen since my brother's funeral. My other half sister Dana was present as well. she is also someone I have not seen since the funeral. We sat together and after passing around the family tree and joking my half sisters and I came up with a name for ourselves..... The Three Wives Club! Why would we want to be called that you ask? Well my dad was married 3 times and had 9 kids. During that meet and greet one child from each of his marriages was attending. Dana was from my dad's first marriage, Robyn was from my father's second marriage and I was from his last marriage.
I am seeing the repercussions of this divorce on my children and I have decided that maybe some counseling might be in order for them. I have done my best to keep the drama and fighting out of their lives but I guess I have failed. Last night was a good point to how I am just not able to shelter them. Tuesday night Jason and I text back and forth about the divorce. Not wanting to discuss the matter since I am under the advice of my lawyer not to, I told him I didn't want to talk about it. Apparently that wasn't an answer he wanted and proceeded to show up unannounced and cause quiet a stir in my house. I have never remained so calm while feeling intimidated but I had to because I didn't want the girls anymore upset than need be. After 20 minutes on the porch dealing with it I looked over to see Ella on the floor with her Spider hat she had made at school. She was so upset and distraught she was tearing it all apart. I looked at Jason and said this is over I have to take care of Ella she is upset and needs me. I cried and cried seeing her the way she was. I reassured her that she was ok and that everything was fine. I guess hear it and seeing it just really made it a horrible situation, just like I had figured it would. The rest of the evening was shot. Hannah was distracted and upset and Ella was sobbing until she fell asleep. I knew then that I needed help, my kids need some help.
Today was better and I think Jason and I have worked things out to the best of our ability. We are still on track for this to be over in a week or two. Trust me everyone will know as soon as I find out. I want what is best for the girls and I want to keep them out of this as much as possible. I hope Jason can see that soon.
This weekend is my last weekend alone. That is such a thrilling thought. Its going to be actually filled with activities so I know it will help the time pass quickly. Actually to be all honest this is feeling more like a dream now. I know when I think about Monday coming I think how it may or may not effect me. I know my mind will be busy with activities I have going on. I have to get this house cleaned and there is just so much to do. Anyone like house work?! I am in need of some help ha ha! Sean has a Boy Scout event Saturday morning till sometime in the afternoon. Yvette has invited me to come hang out Saturday evening pass out candy and watch chick flicks, and my sister and her man want me to go to Magic Time Machine with them for a costume party. I am hoping to do both but I don't think that will happen. But a night of chick flicks, wine and chocolate I might have found my evening lol. Sunday will be more cleaning and preparing for the week. I will do my best to blog this week before Chris comes home. Chances are I won't do an update till Sunday night. I am thrilled this roller coaster of a year is ending. Now the real fun begins. Starting a new life is fun. I have some changes in mind for me but I am not ready to share quiet yet. This is still a work in progress. Thanks to everyone for the love and support you have given me. I love all of you and it means more than you will ever know.
Monday, October 26, 2009
WOW!!!!!
I am sitting here finding the best way to write this as its been a while since I last wrote. More often than not when I go a while without posting it usually means either I am super busy and lots going on or well my life has gotten boring and I can't get motivated to write. Tonight I am beyond motivated to write because so much has gone on and I haven't really had time to stop and collect my thoughts to actually sit down and blog.
Right now I am sitting here watching Chris finish packing and cleaning the itty bitty room he has called home for the last year. As of today he will take what he has that was not being shipped and head for a hotel for the next 10 days. He is coming home. I who have always held so much doubt in myself, who hates to be a apart from someone I love, did it. I told Chris today I can pat myself on the back for a job well done I think on my part. His response was..." You just raised the bar on your level of expectations." In other words he will forever hold over my head that, I lasted 1 year with out him only seeing him for a few weeks in that time frame, for a very, very long time. This has given me such an amazing WOW feeling right now that I just can't explain, but those who have been through it will probably be able to catch my drift on this.
Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I sat back and thought about all that I am dealing with and just everything brought tears to my eyes. The ball is rolling fast now with the divorce. There is a 95% chance that by next week I will no longer be a Dimmitt. Yep that's right I could be heading to court the day Chris gets home to have this over and done with. After the deal with Jason I had this past weekend of him calling me spoiled and that I am getting everything and not going to get my way on this, I couldn't be more relieved and happy. Friday was a rough evening for me but I got through it and realized I had big important things to look forward to and think about. Its always good to have a strong support team around you. I have been thankful for this lately. The other reason I was so emotional was the movers came to Chris' dorm room and well whisked his stuff that needed to be shipped away to Texas. With that he also send 7 boxes to me. Well I say me but they are actually going to Myranda's. So ya heads up Myranda look for boxes to come here in a week or so. Scratch that I was informed that there is a possible 8th package now. Myranda I love you thanks for letting him mail stuff to you! As of right now his room is empty. He will leave there in about an hour or so head to a hotel and remain there till he leaves next Thursday. I get butterflies thinking about it.
Last night through instant message and Skype I was fortunate to finally really meet someone who has really been a God send for both myself and Chris. Her name is Adi, and she has been Chris' closest friend since being there. She has been there for him when he had a lot to deal with and also has been there for me to talk to when I needed someone other than Chris to explain things to me and make me feel a bit better about what was going on. I can tell once she hopefully gets here to Texas either by being stationed here or visiting we are going to be great friends. Adi I appreciate all that you have done for Chris while he has been there. You really are an amazing friend and I know that Chris really admires you and thanks you for that. You know that our house is always opened to you night or day! Stay safe and we will see you in February.
Switching gears a bit..... The kids are doing great. This weekend I will be going to a Scouting event with Sean. I am really excited about doing this with him. I know he is also happy to have me go along with him for this. The girls have been keeping me busy and I love it. Hannah is really improving in School and everyone can see it. Ella has parent teacher conference tomorrow so I am excited to see how well she is progressing this year so far. The ice show will be starting up soon and the girls have worked hard and I hope that everyone gets a chance to come see them skate. I will post a blog with all the information on it so that those interested can make it.
What can I say but life is good right now. A few bumps in the road but really its just been smooth sailing. The cards are dwindling down on the count down calendar and the holidays are right at our heals. This is a very exciting time for me right now and I hope it is for the kids. So many wonderful changes about to happen and I know its all for the best. I love the support I get from my family and I appreciate it more than you guys will ever know. I love all of you dearly.
Well Chris is about to leave so I will wrap this up with my ever famous display of the count down. Good night everyone!
With 3% left here is the break down:
1.44Weeks
10.08Days
241.95Hours
14,517.02Minutes
871,021.05Seconds
Right now I am sitting here watching Chris finish packing and cleaning the itty bitty room he has called home for the last year. As of today he will take what he has that was not being shipped and head for a hotel for the next 10 days. He is coming home. I who have always held so much doubt in myself, who hates to be a apart from someone I love, did it. I told Chris today I can pat myself on the back for a job well done I think on my part. His response was..." You just raised the bar on your level of expectations." In other words he will forever hold over my head that, I lasted 1 year with out him only seeing him for a few weeks in that time frame, for a very, very long time. This has given me such an amazing WOW feeling right now that I just can't explain, but those who have been through it will probably be able to catch my drift on this.
Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I sat back and thought about all that I am dealing with and just everything brought tears to my eyes. The ball is rolling fast now with the divorce. There is a 95% chance that by next week I will no longer be a Dimmitt. Yep that's right I could be heading to court the day Chris gets home to have this over and done with. After the deal with Jason I had this past weekend of him calling me spoiled and that I am getting everything and not going to get my way on this, I couldn't be more relieved and happy. Friday was a rough evening for me but I got through it and realized I had big important things to look forward to and think about. Its always good to have a strong support team around you. I have been thankful for this lately. The other reason I was so emotional was the movers came to Chris' dorm room and well whisked his stuff that needed to be shipped away to Texas. With that he also send 7 boxes to me. Well I say me but they are actually going to Myranda's. So ya heads up Myranda look for boxes to come here in a week or so. Scratch that I was informed that there is a possible 8th package now. Myranda I love you thanks for letting him mail stuff to you! As of right now his room is empty. He will leave there in about an hour or so head to a hotel and remain there till he leaves next Thursday. I get butterflies thinking about it.
Last night through instant message and Skype I was fortunate to finally really meet someone who has really been a God send for both myself and Chris. Her name is Adi, and she has been Chris' closest friend since being there. She has been there for him when he had a lot to deal with and also has been there for me to talk to when I needed someone other than Chris to explain things to me and make me feel a bit better about what was going on. I can tell once she hopefully gets here to Texas either by being stationed here or visiting we are going to be great friends. Adi I appreciate all that you have done for Chris while he has been there. You really are an amazing friend and I know that Chris really admires you and thanks you for that. You know that our house is always opened to you night or day! Stay safe and we will see you in February.
Switching gears a bit..... The kids are doing great. This weekend I will be going to a Scouting event with Sean. I am really excited about doing this with him. I know he is also happy to have me go along with him for this. The girls have been keeping me busy and I love it. Hannah is really improving in School and everyone can see it. Ella has parent teacher conference tomorrow so I am excited to see how well she is progressing this year so far. The ice show will be starting up soon and the girls have worked hard and I hope that everyone gets a chance to come see them skate. I will post a blog with all the information on it so that those interested can make it.
What can I say but life is good right now. A few bumps in the road but really its just been smooth sailing. The cards are dwindling down on the count down calendar and the holidays are right at our heals. This is a very exciting time for me right now and I hope it is for the kids. So many wonderful changes about to happen and I know its all for the best. I love the support I get from my family and I appreciate it more than you guys will ever know. I love all of you dearly.
Well Chris is about to leave so I will wrap this up with my ever famous display of the count down. Good night everyone!
With 3% left here is the break down:
1.44Weeks
10.08Days
241.95Hours
14,517.02Minutes
871,021.05Seconds
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Psych!
Remember back in the 80's people would tell you something and it was mind boggling awesome and just when you where like "wow that's so cool" or "how did I get so lucky" you would get this feeling thing of excitement and energy to suddenly have that person go "PSYCH!!!! Yep that's how I feel right now. Its a mass of things that just have brought this on and tonight while in the kitchen cleaning, listening to fighting, yelling that homework needs to be done, and looking at the messes needing to be tended to I began to feel just like that!
For a while we had been on this steady rhythm of get home, get dinner make, homework done, bath, bed, cleaning, ect. The last two days have been so bumpy and disorganized I felt really out of sorts and grumpy because the schedule seems to have been tampered with or something. I got irritated and frustrated because I was cleaning the kitchen and Hannah needed help with her homework and in the midst of it Ella was taunting Hannah. After a few minutes I reached a stopping point that I could live with and walked to the living room. I gave Ella a work book and said here is your homework you need to find these shapes and try to write these numbers while I work with Hannah. I read Hannah her book and found the answer to the questions. She dictated how she wanted to answer them and I wrote them neatly on another sheet of paper so she could copy them while I went to the kitchen to finish cleaning and to try to get Ella in bed. At this point I don't care if what I did was not the right way but it was what worked and it was essentially Hannah's work I just wrote out the sentences she said and she rewrote it on the sheet.
With about 16 days, almost 2 weeks, to go I am feeling so much anxiety and nervous energy in me. How different will things actually be now? Will having him home for a few weeks help or hurt the system I may or may not have going? How will it effect the kids? How will it effect me? I mean honestly so much is going to change but so much will stay the same its weird. Having a extra adult body in the house will be really nice we can do a tag team sort of deal while he is here during the week and on weekends there will just be more time to get more things accomplished. On the flip side his being here during the week will only be short lived for now and during breaks and holidays. I don't want to get to comfortable with that and used to another person around either. I fear the kids will get used to it to. Not that I don't want them getting used to Chris that's not it but having him around to help ect. Its all just weird feelings and emotions and sometimes I think I might over analyse things. Guess we will just have to wait and see.
The magic day came and went. For those asking Monday the 19th was the day that if Jason wanted to contest the divorce he could. He had up until I think 5pm yesterday to contest. Now all the ducks are in a row, the T's crossed and the I's dotted. With all this they will go to court I will have to appear answer a few questions and within a few minutes the 2 year wait of being divorced will be final!! Wow all that for a few questions and it to be over. They are just waiting for the transfer from the AG office to them and the ball will get rolling on a court date. I was told it would be on a Friday around 9am. Now how funny would that be if this ended up happening on the day that Chris got home?! I doubt it but still right?
The kids are doing great. Report cards came out and they are super smart just like we knew they where. I am proud of them. Hannah has worked so hard with her tutor and it shows they said. Sean has really stepped it up this year and I am so proud of him. He is doing Boy Scouts and he really seems to like it. I am glad he found a place that he belongs and enjoys. Oh he is selling popcorn if ya want some let me know by Thursday the orders are due Friday. Ella has parent teacher conference next week. I have already heard from her teacher how well she is doing and that she is just a joy to have in class. I am so proud of her.
And here it is the official count down:
2.30Weeks
16.08Days
385.81Hours
23,148.41Minutes
1,388,904.34Seconds
For a while we had been on this steady rhythm of get home, get dinner make, homework done, bath, bed, cleaning, ect. The last two days have been so bumpy and disorganized I felt really out of sorts and grumpy because the schedule seems to have been tampered with or something. I got irritated and frustrated because I was cleaning the kitchen and Hannah needed help with her homework and in the midst of it Ella was taunting Hannah. After a few minutes I reached a stopping point that I could live with and walked to the living room. I gave Ella a work book and said here is your homework you need to find these shapes and try to write these numbers while I work with Hannah. I read Hannah her book and found the answer to the questions. She dictated how she wanted to answer them and I wrote them neatly on another sheet of paper so she could copy them while I went to the kitchen to finish cleaning and to try to get Ella in bed. At this point I don't care if what I did was not the right way but it was what worked and it was essentially Hannah's work I just wrote out the sentences she said and she rewrote it on the sheet.
With about 16 days, almost 2 weeks, to go I am feeling so much anxiety and nervous energy in me. How different will things actually be now? Will having him home for a few weeks help or hurt the system I may or may not have going? How will it effect the kids? How will it effect me? I mean honestly so much is going to change but so much will stay the same its weird. Having a extra adult body in the house will be really nice we can do a tag team sort of deal while he is here during the week and on weekends there will just be more time to get more things accomplished. On the flip side his being here during the week will only be short lived for now and during breaks and holidays. I don't want to get to comfortable with that and used to another person around either. I fear the kids will get used to it to. Not that I don't want them getting used to Chris that's not it but having him around to help ect. Its all just weird feelings and emotions and sometimes I think I might over analyse things. Guess we will just have to wait and see.
The magic day came and went. For those asking Monday the 19th was the day that if Jason wanted to contest the divorce he could. He had up until I think 5pm yesterday to contest. Now all the ducks are in a row, the T's crossed and the I's dotted. With all this they will go to court I will have to appear answer a few questions and within a few minutes the 2 year wait of being divorced will be final!! Wow all that for a few questions and it to be over. They are just waiting for the transfer from the AG office to them and the ball will get rolling on a court date. I was told it would be on a Friday around 9am. Now how funny would that be if this ended up happening on the day that Chris got home?! I doubt it but still right?
The kids are doing great. Report cards came out and they are super smart just like we knew they where. I am proud of them. Hannah has worked so hard with her tutor and it shows they said. Sean has really stepped it up this year and I am so proud of him. He is doing Boy Scouts and he really seems to like it. I am glad he found a place that he belongs and enjoys. Oh he is selling popcorn if ya want some let me know by Thursday the orders are due Friday. Ella has parent teacher conference next week. I have already heard from her teacher how well she is doing and that she is just a joy to have in class. I am so proud of her.
And here it is the official count down:
2.30Weeks
16.08Days
385.81Hours
23,148.41Minutes
1,388,904.34Seconds
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A little bit of Chicken Fried...
Ya odd title for this blog but its been in my head all day and the girls love belting out the words when I play the song on my computer so I went with it! Nothing like having your kids sing about having a cold beer on a Friday night! Apparently the teachers think its a hit too ha ha! Most everyone has seen the count down calendar the kids made and per the removal of 2 squares now we are at 22 days! The days are just flying by. This time last year I was preparing myself for his leaving now I am preparing myself for his arrival. In honor of that I have got the kids getting their stuff organized and prepared for the big move and I have started sleeping back on my side of the bed again. Both of things require a decent amount of work I must say. I have, in my mind, started making plans of how I want the kids room to look now. Ella has picked where she wants her bed to go and we have decided where the bulk toys will go ect. Making plans like this helps me really start to get on the ball and get things going. I love that feeling makes me motivated now I just need to stay motivated.
Speaking of motivated I think the people who manage the property I work for are finally getting the hint that the place I reside is well falling apart! I was told on Sunday afternoon that my entire front porch, beams, boards, railings and all will be replaced. The catch to that is I have to be out of my house for 2 days. So I tossed around a few ideas and finally asked the guys if I could do the following wait till Chris gets home that Friday and since we will be gone that weekend they could have the whole weekend to work on it. They sounded ok with that but the downside is I have to take all my crap to work with me that day and pray I have it all its either that or stay at Jason's house for 2 days and well I am not up for that its just to tense and uncomfortable for me and I am sure he would find a way to hold it over me or use it against me. So this is hopefully the option that will work for us. The roofer was suppose to come by this week but haven't heard from him since Saturday. I can't locate his number and I am a hoping that maybe this man will surface this weekend and this too shall be fixed as promised!
I will know more as of Monday if Jason has decided to contest the divorce or not. If he has not it will go to court Monday and stand as it is. I am hoping for the sake of well just making life easy and knowing I am not out to get the kids from him or take his money that he will just go with it and know that this is just in the best interest for all of us. Yes I know I do not have a car but we are hoping that will change really soon. Trust me I do not like this arrangement more than the next person so I am desperate on fixing the situation. I am ready to spread my wings and have the freedom to go places and commit to things that I have been unable to such as babysitting, visiting friends and family, outings for the heck of it and of course the outing to get the essentials. How funny 15 years ago I dreamed of having my own vehicle and now here I am 15 years later in the same damn boat! I know that it will all be over soon. This new life is sounding more and more exciting every day. I am ready to give it a shot and see how well this goes. Like everyone says its my turn I deserve to be happy. So I am going to do it!
Well that's about it. I am sure I will start writing more here soon since its getting closer and so much will be running through my mind. Chris has a week left of work and on the 26th will be moving from his dorm and will not have a phone or Internet. That will really suck. So that will leave me to go mad until he gets home. He also has a follow up doctors appointment about his kidneys too the week before he leaves. I hope that things are all back to normal for him. That was quiet the ordeal we went through and I hope its all behind us now. And with that I will post the official count down because I am a dork like that and as excited as a kid waiting for Christmas!!
3.00
Weeks
21.03
Days
504.60
Hours
30,276.08
Minutes
1,816,564.89
Seconds
Speaking of motivated I think the people who manage the property I work for are finally getting the hint that the place I reside is well falling apart! I was told on Sunday afternoon that my entire front porch, beams, boards, railings and all will be replaced. The catch to that is I have to be out of my house for 2 days. So I tossed around a few ideas and finally asked the guys if I could do the following wait till Chris gets home that Friday and since we will be gone that weekend they could have the whole weekend to work on it. They sounded ok with that but the downside is I have to take all my crap to work with me that day and pray I have it all its either that or stay at Jason's house for 2 days and well I am not up for that its just to tense and uncomfortable for me and I am sure he would find a way to hold it over me or use it against me. So this is hopefully the option that will work for us. The roofer was suppose to come by this week but haven't heard from him since Saturday. I can't locate his number and I am a hoping that maybe this man will surface this weekend and this too shall be fixed as promised!
I will know more as of Monday if Jason has decided to contest the divorce or not. If he has not it will go to court Monday and stand as it is. I am hoping for the sake of well just making life easy and knowing I am not out to get the kids from him or take his money that he will just go with it and know that this is just in the best interest for all of us. Yes I know I do not have a car but we are hoping that will change really soon. Trust me I do not like this arrangement more than the next person so I am desperate on fixing the situation. I am ready to spread my wings and have the freedom to go places and commit to things that I have been unable to such as babysitting, visiting friends and family, outings for the heck of it and of course the outing to get the essentials. How funny 15 years ago I dreamed of having my own vehicle and now here I am 15 years later in the same damn boat! I know that it will all be over soon. This new life is sounding more and more exciting every day. I am ready to give it a shot and see how well this goes. Like everyone says its my turn I deserve to be happy. So I am going to do it!
Well that's about it. I am sure I will start writing more here soon since its getting closer and so much will be running through my mind. Chris has a week left of work and on the 26th will be moving from his dorm and will not have a phone or Internet. That will really suck. So that will leave me to go mad until he gets home. He also has a follow up doctors appointment about his kidneys too the week before he leaves. I hope that things are all back to normal for him. That was quiet the ordeal we went through and I hope its all behind us now. And with that I will post the official count down because I am a dork like that and as excited as a kid waiting for Christmas!!
3.00
Weeks
21.03
Days
504.60
Hours
30,276.08
Minutes
1,816,564.89
Seconds
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Counting down.......
So tonight we made a count down calendar for Chris. The kids had so much fun and I love how it turned out. They worked very hard and can now easily see how little time is left before he comes home. Every day we will remove one square from the wall and save it for him when he comes home. It's really nice to see this end in sight!Squares 13-24 all bright and colorful!
The next two rows got the girls all excited seeing that they where almost finished and there wasn't that many squares to make.
Hannah and Ella are proud to show off their hard work. Yes it might have been slightly past their bed time but it was well worth it!
Ella is ready to pick some great colors and has some wonderful ideas on what to put on the cards I gave her. She love to do art work!!Here is the final product! The 24 day count down is on. This is starting from tomorrow and goes till the day he lands here in DFW! I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Ignorance?
As most of you know I am a teacher. A teacher's job is to love each child for who they are no matter what. It is our job to shape them and mold them into the bring young adults they will become one day. Even those children who are different. Those we embrace the most and love the most. Even if those child who are different are so behaviorally challenged you want to yank your hair out, banish them from the school or even quit your job. Those are the kids though that in the end will make you really realize so much and make you become a better person.
Ok so this is a strange topic I know to be bringing up but after what we encountered tonight I felt compelled to get this out there and maybe make others aware that these things happen even at a young age. What I am talking about is IGNORANCE! Tonight in our house we had our first dealing with people who are ignorant and the effects it has on everyone. I guess in my own way I was slightly guilty of making a ignorant comment to Hannah while doing homework. I made a comment that something in her reading assignment was easy. A horrible choice of words to a child who struggles to read. She let into me and I let her I totally deserved it. And I told her and I admitted that I didn't learn to read till 3rd grade. So I know where she is coming from and I feel her pain and she is right its not easy. Its work and she works hard. I won't make that mistake again that's for sure!
Really though the main reason for this tonight was something that broke my heart in ways I never realize was possible. Ella had this emotional outburst that made me feel so horrible and so sad for her sweet little innocent self. we have a girl who has psychotic tendencies and this is Ella's best friend for over 2 years. Ella has totally seen past her problem and just wants to be her friend and love her. Well her outbursts have gotten much worse and the kids in class laugh at this kid. my daughter my 4 yr old daughter has sat there and told them not to laugh and stuck up for her best friend. Then the kids laugh at Ella and say how bad Ella is and wants to be like this child ect. I have had teachers tell me to keep my child away from this child because Ella would become like her and think that behavior is ok. but Ella knows its not ok and knows that this child cant help it. What triggered this all was I said to her, I said to Ella you aren't making good choices i need you to make good choices and she just blurted out mommy my friend didn't make me bad mommy i am a bad girl please don't be mad at my friend. she is my best friend even when the kids laugh at her and i tell them not to mommy she is my best friend and they laugh at me and call me bad and call me a baby. She was crying she was hysterical an i was crying. I never realized a 4 year old could hold emotional baggage like that. I am proud to see her seeing past peoples differences and loving them for who they are. I am proud that my child did not succumb to peer pressure and stood up for her beliefs and defended a child that is labeled an outcast and trouble!
To know that adults, teachers, are wanting me to prevent their friendship from continuing is a bit disturbing and sad for me. As teachers we need to teach these children that everyone is different but that we love and respect them no matter what! Jason wants to pull Ella out of the school if this continues he is afraid all of our teachings of right and wrong and the golden rule will but shattered. At the same time though I can't bare to separate these girls its bad enough they won't be at the same kindergarten so I want them to have each other for a little while longer. I really feel that they need one another. They are always together no matter what and that is something so special to see. I just hope teachers can take a lesson from those two girls and realize that it is ok to be friends with someone who is different. Variety is the spice of life friendships would be boring if we where all the same and hung out with all the same people. Those two girls balance each other out. They are good for one another. I figure these teacher just maybe worry that my daughter will pick up these habits and try them but she has and she knows they don't work for her. She knows right from wrong in that sense and knows to make good choices. I just think their way of trying to protect Ella is not ok. My children embrace everyone and want to be friends with all the meet no matter what they look like or who they are. That is something I am so proud of. If I have done nothing else right in parenting them at least I know two things: 1) my children can make friends with anyone and do not focus on the differences ect. they take the friendship at its real worth. 2) they have self confidence and self respect that is such an amazing thing to really grasp at a young age and 3) they will not fall to peer pressure they are leaders they take their ground and hold it tight, the will fight for what they want!
I am feeling better now about this. Tomorrow I will have a talk with the appropriate people express my concerns maybe even let Ella speak her voice on this and share how its effected her and how upset its made her. I think if they hear it first hand from her they will really realize that this is a legitimate issue and I am not just being dramatic ect. I want them to see the real effects its taking. I also want them to see that maybe they need to realize their ignorance and see that no one is perfect we are all different and should be treated with love and respect. Children can sense when they are treated differently how they handle it though is a whole different thing.
Sorry to go off on a tangent and rant but I felt this was blog worthy. I am going to finish this off, tuck the girls back into bed, close up the computer and call it a night.
Ok so this is a strange topic I know to be bringing up but after what we encountered tonight I felt compelled to get this out there and maybe make others aware that these things happen even at a young age. What I am talking about is IGNORANCE! Tonight in our house we had our first dealing with people who are ignorant and the effects it has on everyone. I guess in my own way I was slightly guilty of making a ignorant comment to Hannah while doing homework. I made a comment that something in her reading assignment was easy. A horrible choice of words to a child who struggles to read. She let into me and I let her I totally deserved it. And I told her and I admitted that I didn't learn to read till 3rd grade. So I know where she is coming from and I feel her pain and she is right its not easy. Its work and she works hard. I won't make that mistake again that's for sure!
Really though the main reason for this tonight was something that broke my heart in ways I never realize was possible. Ella had this emotional outburst that made me feel so horrible and so sad for her sweet little innocent self. we have a girl who has psychotic tendencies and this is Ella's best friend for over 2 years. Ella has totally seen past her problem and just wants to be her friend and love her. Well her outbursts have gotten much worse and the kids in class laugh at this kid. my daughter my 4 yr old daughter has sat there and told them not to laugh and stuck up for her best friend. Then the kids laugh at Ella and say how bad Ella is and wants to be like this child ect. I have had teachers tell me to keep my child away from this child because Ella would become like her and think that behavior is ok. but Ella knows its not ok and knows that this child cant help it. What triggered this all was I said to her, I said to Ella you aren't making good choices i need you to make good choices and she just blurted out mommy my friend didn't make me bad mommy i am a bad girl please don't be mad at my friend. she is my best friend even when the kids laugh at her and i tell them not to mommy she is my best friend and they laugh at me and call me bad and call me a baby. She was crying she was hysterical an i was crying. I never realized a 4 year old could hold emotional baggage like that. I am proud to see her seeing past peoples differences and loving them for who they are. I am proud that my child did not succumb to peer pressure and stood up for her beliefs and defended a child that is labeled an outcast and trouble!
To know that adults, teachers, are wanting me to prevent their friendship from continuing is a bit disturbing and sad for me. As teachers we need to teach these children that everyone is different but that we love and respect them no matter what! Jason wants to pull Ella out of the school if this continues he is afraid all of our teachings of right and wrong and the golden rule will but shattered. At the same time though I can't bare to separate these girls its bad enough they won't be at the same kindergarten so I want them to have each other for a little while longer. I really feel that they need one another. They are always together no matter what and that is something so special to see. I just hope teachers can take a lesson from those two girls and realize that it is ok to be friends with someone who is different. Variety is the spice of life friendships would be boring if we where all the same and hung out with all the same people. Those two girls balance each other out. They are good for one another. I figure these teacher just maybe worry that my daughter will pick up these habits and try them but she has and she knows they don't work for her. She knows right from wrong in that sense and knows to make good choices. I just think their way of trying to protect Ella is not ok. My children embrace everyone and want to be friends with all the meet no matter what they look like or who they are. That is something I am so proud of. If I have done nothing else right in parenting them at least I know two things: 1) my children can make friends with anyone and do not focus on the differences ect. they take the friendship at its real worth. 2) they have self confidence and self respect that is such an amazing thing to really grasp at a young age and 3) they will not fall to peer pressure they are leaders they take their ground and hold it tight, the will fight for what they want!
I am feeling better now about this. Tomorrow I will have a talk with the appropriate people express my concerns maybe even let Ella speak her voice on this and share how its effected her and how upset its made her. I think if they hear it first hand from her they will really realize that this is a legitimate issue and I am not just being dramatic ect. I want them to see the real effects its taking. I also want them to see that maybe they need to realize their ignorance and see that no one is perfect we are all different and should be treated with love and respect. Children can sense when they are treated differently how they handle it though is a whole different thing.
Sorry to go off on a tangent and rant but I felt this was blog worthy. I am going to finish this off, tuck the girls back into bed, close up the computer and call it a night.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Yikes!
Wow are these weeks flying by or what?! I look up and realize that Tuesday has come to a close and tomorrow is the middle of the week! Wow I can't believe it. This time last year I was really trying to wrap my head around Chris leaving and wondering how or if this was even would work. He was just now telling me where he would be going and I kept telling myself " A year really wow seems so long and far away!" And now here we are 3 weeks away and all I can say was eh ya that was a cake walk! HA HA that is a joke by the way! But looking at it all in perspective I think that yes it was really hard but we kept great communication and openness despite the distance, the job and of course the time zones! So basically if we can prove to last this long apart being together should be a breeze! But we have both discussed our fears, concerns and our ideals on what we would like and should happen. We both agree while our thoughts of this perfect set up ect are great we both know there will be snags and let downs but we both agree not to let this effect us because honestly after what we have been through there is no excuse. Distance now is just an excuse to not try hard ect. So we have set some realistic expectations and goals and now its just time to follow through with it all.
The girls are completely better by the way and have been since about Friday! I needed the weekend to recuperate from this whole deal! Apparently Tamiful is the end all be all flu cures because let me tell you after a few doses of that stuff they where raring ready to go! Sean's bacterial infection is better and by Sunday was doing so well we went ice skating with his half sister and his step mom. That was a terrific outing! I do have to say getting back into the swing of things for the work/ school week was a bit tough but the girls have been doing great and I am happy. Hannah is working hard to get all caught up and Ella jumped right back into her routine and that is really outstanding. I have (knock on wood) managed to escape the flu! Zinc my friends is a wonderful thing!
Tonight was a fantastic night! The girls helped me prepare dinner and we had a blast in the kitchen. Watching those two try and squeeze limes and lemons was hysterical! I only wish I had taken pictures. It took two of them to squeeze them and they had it going everywhere! They helped put the onions, jalapenos, and tomatoes on the chicken and helped cut up fresh strawberries that they devoured in like 2 minutes! We went and did laundry together and finished up some tough homework. Of course whats an evening of fun without showers correct? I told the girls to get ready for showers that I would finish cleaning up. My phone rang and in the midst of this conversation I hear a crash and a bang followed by a "uh oh mommy is going to be really mad!" I go running to the bathroom thinking they broke the toilet or the cabinet detached from the wall, but no it was the shower curtain! Hannah says " I don't know mom it just kinda fell." Ella cuts her off saying " Hannah don't lie its not ok you where hanging on it and it fell." Hannah knew she was busted but tried to deny it and I said the truth or you lose skating. Of course she confessed and felt bad. I now need a whole new rod since the metal broke off in odd pieces. Lesson she learned for the night was............ shower curtains are not good to swing on, shower rods can not hold your weight and that the shower rod does not make a good dance partner!
I think that's about it. I feel all caught up now. Oh ya the roof....... They called Monday mumbled something about being at my place, I laughed and said good luck getting in I am not home. they mumbled something about being on my roof. I said fix it I don't care just no more water in the living room its not cool! Anyways I will post the count down for the arrival of Chris. I am just giddy with excitement and nervous as hell to.
With 7% left of this deployment left here is the official break down:
3.86
Weeks
27.04
Days
648.86
Hours
38,931.35
Minutes
2,335,880.72
Seconds
See every reason to be super excited!!
The girls are completely better by the way and have been since about Friday! I needed the weekend to recuperate from this whole deal! Apparently Tamiful is the end all be all flu cures because let me tell you after a few doses of that stuff they where raring ready to go! Sean's bacterial infection is better and by Sunday was doing so well we went ice skating with his half sister and his step mom. That was a terrific outing! I do have to say getting back into the swing of things for the work/ school week was a bit tough but the girls have been doing great and I am happy. Hannah is working hard to get all caught up and Ella jumped right back into her routine and that is really outstanding. I have (knock on wood) managed to escape the flu! Zinc my friends is a wonderful thing!
Tonight was a fantastic night! The girls helped me prepare dinner and we had a blast in the kitchen. Watching those two try and squeeze limes and lemons was hysterical! I only wish I had taken pictures. It took two of them to squeeze them and they had it going everywhere! They helped put the onions, jalapenos, and tomatoes on the chicken and helped cut up fresh strawberries that they devoured in like 2 minutes! We went and did laundry together and finished up some tough homework. Of course whats an evening of fun without showers correct? I told the girls to get ready for showers that I would finish cleaning up. My phone rang and in the midst of this conversation I hear a crash and a bang followed by a "uh oh mommy is going to be really mad!" I go running to the bathroom thinking they broke the toilet or the cabinet detached from the wall, but no it was the shower curtain! Hannah says " I don't know mom it just kinda fell." Ella cuts her off saying " Hannah don't lie its not ok you where hanging on it and it fell." Hannah knew she was busted but tried to deny it and I said the truth or you lose skating. Of course she confessed and felt bad. I now need a whole new rod since the metal broke off in odd pieces. Lesson she learned for the night was............ shower curtains are not good to swing on, shower rods can not hold your weight and that the shower rod does not make a good dance partner!
I think that's about it. I feel all caught up now. Oh ya the roof....... They called Monday mumbled something about being at my place, I laughed and said good luck getting in I am not home. they mumbled something about being on my roof. I said fix it I don't care just no more water in the living room its not cool! Anyways I will post the count down for the arrival of Chris. I am just giddy with excitement and nervous as hell to.
With 7% left of this deployment left here is the official break down:
3.86
Weeks
27.04
Days
648.86
Hours
38,931.35
Minutes
2,335,880.72
Seconds
See every reason to be super excited!!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Peace,Love and INSANITY!
Evening all! I have made to the end of a crazy week! I bet you are wondering what inspired this weird title tonight. I have dealt with all of it this week and it just sounded fitting. So here I am on another kid less Friday night since Sean is sick this time so I have the time to blog. This has been helping me a lot lately. I just have a short while of these quiet weekends. Not that having Sean is at all quiet! But pretty soon weekends will be a bit different we will become a trio instead of a duo! But I think from talking to Sean he won't mind the 3rd wheel joining us!
So the Peace in my title.. There has been a lot of conflict and emotion. I was overly stressed, had many obstacles come up, curve balls thrown my way, and unexpected illness. We thought Hannah didn't have the flu we took her and Ella back to the doctor because they had a fever and low and behold they both had the flu. That same day Jason got served papers about the divorce and that was a fiasco because he assumed I was suing for other things and we had it out a huge fight mean things ect. I was scared and worried of what was going to happen and everyone was right. Jason just needed time to think, breath, absorb and now he has calmed down and things are fine. My kids are doing better. I am ok with having a bad week at work. Its the weekend now and I am at peace with it all.
Then there is Love........... I am so ready for the love of my life to come home. We are so close now. A month from today we will be in a hotel relaxing and just being able to be alone with one another. We just need to pick up where we left off and just I guess really get reacquainted with each other. We have 4.44 weeks and 31.11 days and he will be done, finished, HOME!! The emotions have been high and overwhelming. I am mentally preparing for what life will be with another person back in the house. Doing things as a team as a couple will also be so different. I have been so used to doing all this alone and now having someone here with me will be so different. I am not saying its a bad thing at all just something I will have to get adjusted to.
My INSANITY..... This week has been insane! All from one extreme to the other. The last night with the storms my roof decided to let water pour in! I have a giant crack in my ceiling and a nice gap that will of course allow more water in until it gets fixed. I called the property manager and they will have a roofer call me. So basically that means I will have 3 more phone calls, the landlord calling them and maybe my cousin Tim in on this. This management company sucks. I hear we have more rain coming to. I have all my containers lined up and ready for it! All I need is this front porch to rot off in the next rain and I officially live in a dump! I swear I smell my downstairs neighbor smoking a joint! Its so nice here!
I want to remind everyone that we want to have a big outing after Chris gets home to Dick's and House of Blues. I am also working on a family deal too so that everyone can come and welcome Chris home. Just need to set up a place and date. I am thinking maybe a near by park and having a huge picnic. I want to get every ones input so please let me know. Also a early reminder that the girls are both skating in the annual tree lighting show at the Galleria. It will start right after Thanksgiving and runs every Saturday till the weekend before Christmas. If you are instead let me know and I will be sure to help get you a spot so you can see the show. It starts at 5pm and lasts about 3o minutes. Its great we even have the back flipping Santa! If you want more info on it let me know!
Well that's it for now. We have fall pictures Sunday I am sure I will be blogging more than also! Toddles!
So the Peace in my title.. There has been a lot of conflict and emotion. I was overly stressed, had many obstacles come up, curve balls thrown my way, and unexpected illness. We thought Hannah didn't have the flu we took her and Ella back to the doctor because they had a fever and low and behold they both had the flu. That same day Jason got served papers about the divorce and that was a fiasco because he assumed I was suing for other things and we had it out a huge fight mean things ect. I was scared and worried of what was going to happen and everyone was right. Jason just needed time to think, breath, absorb and now he has calmed down and things are fine. My kids are doing better. I am ok with having a bad week at work. Its the weekend now and I am at peace with it all.
Then there is Love........... I am so ready for the love of my life to come home. We are so close now. A month from today we will be in a hotel relaxing and just being able to be alone with one another. We just need to pick up where we left off and just I guess really get reacquainted with each other. We have 4.44 weeks and 31.11 days and he will be done, finished, HOME!! The emotions have been high and overwhelming. I am mentally preparing for what life will be with another person back in the house. Doing things as a team as a couple will also be so different. I have been so used to doing all this alone and now having someone here with me will be so different. I am not saying its a bad thing at all just something I will have to get adjusted to.
My INSANITY..... This week has been insane! All from one extreme to the other. The last night with the storms my roof decided to let water pour in! I have a giant crack in my ceiling and a nice gap that will of course allow more water in until it gets fixed. I called the property manager and they will have a roofer call me. So basically that means I will have 3 more phone calls, the landlord calling them and maybe my cousin Tim in on this. This management company sucks. I hear we have more rain coming to. I have all my containers lined up and ready for it! All I need is this front porch to rot off in the next rain and I officially live in a dump! I swear I smell my downstairs neighbor smoking a joint! Its so nice here!
I want to remind everyone that we want to have a big outing after Chris gets home to Dick's and House of Blues. I am also working on a family deal too so that everyone can come and welcome Chris home. Just need to set up a place and date. I am thinking maybe a near by park and having a huge picnic. I want to get every ones input so please let me know. Also a early reminder that the girls are both skating in the annual tree lighting show at the Galleria. It will start right after Thanksgiving and runs every Saturday till the weekend before Christmas. If you are instead let me know and I will be sure to help get you a spot so you can see the show. It starts at 5pm and lasts about 3o minutes. Its great we even have the back flipping Santa! If you want more info on it let me know!
Well that's it for now. We have fall pictures Sunday I am sure I will be blogging more than also! Toddles!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
WHAM!
I guess just when you think maybe the worst is over or that it wasn't that bad you decided to let your guard down and WHAM!!! Ya WHAM!!!!! That's about what happened today. In my last post I wrote Hannah was fine that it was a fever virus well there is WHAM number 1!! Well her fever came back and Ella decided humm I like this I want a fever too and WHAM now I have 2 sick kids and I already caught a lot of grief about how much I have missed. Yep you know I enjoy missing work and taking care of kids. I don't need the money folks because I am made of it! **please not my sarcastic tone!** So now with two sick kids Jason and I agree that a doctors visit is in order and that's the plan. Today they went I thought humm its nothing but guess who gets the prize for being WRONG?! Yep I was wrong they had the flu. Now I will say judging by their behavior last night anyone would have agreed that they where fine and nothing to worry about. Tonight its all I can do to get them to sit up and take their meds. I am serious when I say this really this stuff hits quick! Beware please please if you child is coughing or has a fever take precautions because you could be dealing with this nasty bug that will knock your little one right out! Oh and the kicker is most places are out of Tamaflu but Jason did find Doughtery's at Preston Royal shopping center and they are making up two prescriptions so if you get sick forget Walgreens or CVS go there first they might have to prepare the stuff but you won't have to drive around looking for it!
The bigger WHAM of the day really caught me by surprise. Some of my family received, as well my sister put it, an evasive email tonight. Things have started to get nasty in the divorce that is not yet final yet. I sent this email because I feel alone, I am worried and scared. I need my family to count on and lean on. I need to know that when this really hits the fan I can look at them call them my support team and know they have my back. What this WHAM was for me today was Jason got served the papers for the divorce. Yea this whole thing is still going on. He was suppose to sign them back in April this would have been finished by May and now its October and here I am looking at a giant mess. Jason got served today and all it was for was to get his signature and be done with it. Now he thinks I am suing him and want stuff and I am being vindictive and deceitful. That's not it not even close. I don't want to take my kids from him, I don't want his possessions and I don't want his money I just want this over I want my life back and I want to marry Chris! Now he has yelled and screamed at me sent rude text messages and has told me he is getting a lawyer and it will go to court and it will get ugly. My stomach has sunk. I feel sick I am scared and I need some reassurance right now that my life is going to be ok that he is just mad and that this will pass. I can't put my kids through a nasty divorce I will not do that to them. I wish Jason would see that but he just thinks I am always out to get him. I did speak to him about an hour ago and he seemed civil and stuff but who knows. I am being polite and nice trying to make sure that he can see I am not out to get him I just want to get his signature that is all.
Life threw this curve ball I was really not expecting it. I know I am strong and I can get through this I just really need my family and friends right now to lean on. I am depressed about this and having to miss work. I feel like I am on the verge of losing this job and I can't have that I need this job. I love my job and I love my kids. I also need my paycheck. I feel like I am put in such a rock and hard place about this subject. I always feel like my job is in jeopardy when I have to call in. I even try to be flexible and I feel like I am such an inconvenience with sick kids. Life happens kids get sick I do what I do the best that I can. I can't call my mom and say please help with the kids I have to work. I don't have people I can have fill in around my house so I can go do my job. I really have no back up plan for this situation except for Jason but he is in the same boat is me. I just need to be able to step back and really just let it all sink in what is going on. I just need lots of good thoughts and prayers this way so that I can make it through this nightmare.
Well my eye lids are getting heavy I should try and rest I have meds to give and temps to be taking tonight. I know tomorrow will be a quiet day of just laying around. I will start cleaning what I can and taking strict measures to make sure I don't get it or spread it. I hope Chris calls soon. He is a voice I really need to hear right now. I need to just hear it and know things are going to be ok. A month from Friday he will be home. That just puts a huge smile on my face.
The bigger WHAM of the day really caught me by surprise. Some of my family received, as well my sister put it, an evasive email tonight. Things have started to get nasty in the divorce that is not yet final yet. I sent this email because I feel alone, I am worried and scared. I need my family to count on and lean on. I need to know that when this really hits the fan I can look at them call them my support team and know they have my back. What this WHAM was for me today was Jason got served the papers for the divorce. Yea this whole thing is still going on. He was suppose to sign them back in April this would have been finished by May and now its October and here I am looking at a giant mess. Jason got served today and all it was for was to get his signature and be done with it. Now he thinks I am suing him and want stuff and I am being vindictive and deceitful. That's not it not even close. I don't want to take my kids from him, I don't want his possessions and I don't want his money I just want this over I want my life back and I want to marry Chris! Now he has yelled and screamed at me sent rude text messages and has told me he is getting a lawyer and it will go to court and it will get ugly. My stomach has sunk. I feel sick I am scared and I need some reassurance right now that my life is going to be ok that he is just mad and that this will pass. I can't put my kids through a nasty divorce I will not do that to them. I wish Jason would see that but he just thinks I am always out to get him. I did speak to him about an hour ago and he seemed civil and stuff but who knows. I am being polite and nice trying to make sure that he can see I am not out to get him I just want to get his signature that is all.
Life threw this curve ball I was really not expecting it. I know I am strong and I can get through this I just really need my family and friends right now to lean on. I am depressed about this and having to miss work. I feel like I am on the verge of losing this job and I can't have that I need this job. I love my job and I love my kids. I also need my paycheck. I feel like I am put in such a rock and hard place about this subject. I always feel like my job is in jeopardy when I have to call in. I even try to be flexible and I feel like I am such an inconvenience with sick kids. Life happens kids get sick I do what I do the best that I can. I can't call my mom and say please help with the kids I have to work. I don't have people I can have fill in around my house so I can go do my job. I really have no back up plan for this situation except for Jason but he is in the same boat is me. I just need to be able to step back and really just let it all sink in what is going on. I just need lots of good thoughts and prayers this way so that I can make it through this nightmare.
Well my eye lids are getting heavy I should try and rest I have meds to give and temps to be taking tonight. I know tomorrow will be a quiet day of just laying around. I will start cleaning what I can and taking strict measures to make sure I don't get it or spread it. I hope Chris calls soon. He is a voice I really need to hear right now. I need to just hear it and know things are going to be ok. A month from Friday he will be home. That just puts a huge smile on my face.
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