Thursday, December 24, 2009


In the last 36 hours I feel that this holiday is mocking me and my excitement. Since yesterday at lunch time all I keep getting is bad news. Chris who was suppose to leave Wednesday after work was told that he had to work on Christmas Eve. ICK! Already I could feel things that where suppose to happen where just going to be halted. I called my aunt told her the situation and she said that Doug could pick us up and not to worry. Ok fine it will work not how I expected it to be but I don't want to let the kids down. I get through the rest of the evening but I was grouchy and decided that I would just stay up as late as I want to. 2am I decided eh I am bored lets call it a night.
It was about 4am and from my living room I heard a loud jingling and then crashing sound. I thought one of two things. First that someone was breaking in or Chris was surprising me by coming here in the middle of the night. I peeked up terrified from my bed to notice the Christmas lights from the tree that I could once see where no longer visible from my bed. "Son of a.....!" I mutter as I flip on the lights and walk out to the living room. The sight I saw made my blood boil! My tree had fallen over on the chair and ottoman. Ornaments and broken pieces where everywhere! "Are you kidding me!" I guess I muttered a bit to loudly because Hannah come out wondering to the living room half a sleep asking me what was wrong and why the tree was laying on the floor. I told her to go back to bed before she got glass in her feet. She seemed upset to see me taking decorations off the tree before Christmas. I only took off the top half of the ornaments so that the tree might stay up better. I then pulled out the vacuum cleaned up the mess and stumbled back to bed. Chris calls 2 hours later. his mom 2 hours after that and then my aunt. I told everyone to let me sleep I am exhausted and to try back at noon!
Noon has rolled around. To my surprise Chris is on the road! Good news right? WRONG! He was 40 miles from the base left at 11am and traffic was awful! Ok I kept thinking maybe this will clear up he will be here on time. Oh did I mention it was SNOWING!!! For those of you who wished for snow for Christmas I so thank you! ( note sarcasm!) I make the icing for the jello salad the mixer doesn't work so I have to do it by hand. I plop on the couch with the kids and listen to some Christmas music and decide to check on Chris progress to see how far he had come. At this point its around 2pm he has to almost be here right?! He is stuck on 20 its so backed up he can't move. He is 198 miles from downtown Ft Worth! Good Lord! I call in a panic tell my aunt to send my uncle to get us now its rush mode! I had to be ready by 4! I figure surely by this point Chris would be almost here and meet us over at my aunts.
As we are leaving I check again. No dice he hasn't moved and there is a wreck! REALLY!! Good grief. What the heck happened to this being my best Christmas ever?! Mopey I head to my aunts with the kids. They are excited but worried about where Chris is. I find out the highway is shut down. No progress and finally we realize he just isn't coming. 2 over turned tractor trailers caused such a mess the highway was closed. Its still snowing and the roads are horrible. By 7pm or so I find that they have to get a police escort and may not go more than 20 miles an hour! I am really upset now and feel like I am losing my Christmas spirit complete!
Get home around 8 to about 4 inches of snow on my steps that lead me to my porch that is also totally covered in snow and hard to maneuver on! Is everything out to get me?! Will I catch a break at all?! I come in change walk down to Jason's borrow a broom to clean off the stairs and patio. Found table salt used the whole thing to make sure I have a safe walk way for when Chris gets here or the kids which ever makes it here first! I stood out on my patio for about 30 minutes staring off thinking about this year. I spent some time talking to my brother thanking him for the snow! Telling him how much I miss him. I think I finally reached a point where I was actually grieving his death and not just pretending like he just isn't talking to me or something. I felt so much better and was able to come inside and just relax.
It's 10pm now the snow has stopped. I just went outside and the sky has started to clear up and the moon is out making the snow look even more amazing. Still no word from Chris and I am afraid to call for fear of distracting him. So I am curled up on the couch with the new warm throw my sister got me for Christmas with some candles lit watching Lifetime Christmas movies. I am hoping to see some improvement in luck tomorrow. The kids are excited and that's what matters right?! I can't wait for them to get to Abilene and see their goodies. Just spoke to my aunt and we will be heading to her house in the morning to have a quick breakfast get together and to pick up Chris's shoes that I left there since I thought he would be meeting us there. Maybe things are looking up and changing now. Merry Christmas.