Thursday, October 8, 2009

Ignorance?

As most of you know I am a teacher. A teacher's job is to love each child for who they are no matter what. It is our job to shape them and mold them into the bring young adults they will become one day. Even those children who are different. Those we embrace the most and love the most. Even if those child who are different are so behaviorally challenged you want to yank your hair out, banish them from the school or even quit your job. Those are the kids though that in the end will make you really realize so much and make you become a better person.
Ok so this is a strange topic I know to be bringing up but after what we encountered tonight I felt compelled to get this out there and maybe make others aware that these things happen even at a young age. What I am talking about is IGNORANCE! Tonight in our house we had our first dealing with people who are ignorant and the effects it has on everyone. I guess in my own way I was slightly guilty of making a ignorant comment to Hannah while doing homework. I made a comment that something in her reading assignment was easy. A horrible choice of words to a child who struggles to read. She let into me and I let her I totally deserved it. And I told her and I admitted that I didn't learn to read till 3rd grade. So I know where she is coming from and I feel her pain and she is right its not easy. Its work and she works hard. I won't make that mistake again that's for sure!
Really though the main reason for this tonight was something that broke my heart in ways I never realize was possible. Ella had this emotional outburst that made me feel so horrible and so sad for her sweet little innocent self. we have a girl who has psychotic tendencies and this is Ella's best friend for over 2 years. Ella has totally seen past her problem and just wants to be her friend and love her. Well her outbursts have gotten much worse and the kids in class laugh at this kid. my daughter my 4 yr old daughter has sat there and told them not to laugh and stuck up for her best friend. Then the kids laugh at Ella and say how bad Ella is and wants to be like this child ect. I have had teachers tell me to keep my child away from this child because Ella would become like her and think that behavior is ok. but Ella knows its not ok and knows that this child cant help it. What triggered this all was I said to her, I said to Ella you aren't making good choices i need you to make good choices and she just blurted out mommy my friend didn't make me bad mommy i am a bad girl please don't be mad at my friend. she is my best friend even when the kids laugh at her and i tell them not to mommy she is my best friend and they laugh at me and call me bad and call me a baby. She was crying she was hysterical an i was crying. I never realized a 4 year old could hold emotional baggage like that. I am proud to see her seeing past peoples differences and loving them for who they are. I am proud that my child did not succumb to peer pressure and stood up for her beliefs and defended a child that is labeled an outcast and trouble!
To know that adults, teachers, are wanting me to prevent their friendship from continuing is a bit disturbing and sad for me. As teachers we need to teach these children that everyone is different but that we love and respect them no matter what! Jason wants to pull Ella out of the school if this continues he is afraid all of our teachings of right and wrong and the golden rule will but shattered. At the same time though I can't bare to separate these girls its bad enough they won't be at the same kindergarten so I want them to have each other for a little while longer. I really feel that they need one another. They are always together no matter what and that is something so special to see. I just hope teachers can take a lesson from those two girls and realize that it is ok to be friends with someone who is different. Variety is the spice of life friendships would be boring if we where all the same and hung out with all the same people. Those two girls balance each other out. They are good for one another. I figure these teacher just maybe worry that my daughter will pick up these habits and try them but she has and she knows they don't work for her. She knows right from wrong in that sense and knows to make good choices. I just think their way of trying to protect Ella is not ok. My children embrace everyone and want to be friends with all the meet no matter what they look like or who they are. That is something I am so proud of. If I have done nothing else right in parenting them at least I know two things: 1) my children can make friends with anyone and do not focus on the differences ect. they take the friendship at its real worth. 2) they have self confidence and self respect that is such an amazing thing to really grasp at a young age and 3) they will not fall to peer pressure they are leaders they take their ground and hold it tight, the will fight for what they want!
I am feeling better now about this. Tomorrow I will have a talk with the appropriate people express my concerns maybe even let Ella speak her voice on this and share how its effected her and how upset its made her. I think if they hear it first hand from her they will really realize that this is a legitimate issue and I am not just being dramatic ect. I want them to see the real effects its taking. I also want them to see that maybe they need to realize their ignorance and see that no one is perfect we are all different and should be treated with love and respect. Children can sense when they are treated differently how they handle it though is a whole different thing.
Sorry to go off on a tangent and rant but I felt this was blog worthy. I am going to finish this off, tuck the girls back into bed, close up the computer and call it a night.