Thursday, June 13, 2013

I said UNCLE!!!

I can clearly remember as a kid playing that game where you did what you could to hurt the other to the point they would scream out UNCLE! You would stop what you were doing laugh and move on. The marks would fade quickly after and the whole ordeal was a distant memory.

How I so wish this was the case as an adult. I wish I could just scream UNCLE! and all my worries and troubles would just vanish. I tried that tonight and the stack of bills are still on my table, the hate mail from the VA is still here next to me and the harassing calls are still coming strong.

I never like to talk about our situation because its such a stupid and well I am not even sure how we got here. Ok well I do but I can't still wrap my head around this. All I know is now we sit here and cross our fingers each day that when we wake up we will have gas and electric and when we get home there isn't a nasty gram from the front office asking once again where our rent is. Good question we would love to know where our money is. We would love to know why the VA finds it ok to take almost 2 years at this point to help compensate my husband for the years of service he provided. 14 years to be exact. How about the housing assistance we should be getting while Chris is in school? How do they get away with this stuff? How about the lovely ex and the state of Tenn that finds it ok to garnish 75% of my husband paycheck every two weeks? I promise when I get these answers I will let those who want our money have what they need. 

I have never begged or asked for money, I lowered the head the first time many years ago I got on assistance from the state. I threw caution to the wind last year to apply for SSI for H and got denied. We did get approved for $11.00 a month in food stamps ( total sarcastic tone here!) The only time I really asked for money was for our Walk team for H and that money didn't go to us it went to the organization. However I just recently set up a donation page out of desperation to see if anyone at all would help us. Here is the link if you do so feel inclined to help us. http://www.gofundme.com/HopeforH

I have done the paperwork for HHS to get food stamps and medicaid  I am hoping to get SSI for H this go round again I doubt it. I also plan on selling non essential organs and limbs that i find no use for to help off set our cost. Ok that last part was a joke but man when you get desperate you get desperate. You know it's bad when you don't have the 25.00 you need to get your son's birth certificate for his preschool registration. I am serious when I say that.

Everyone talks about hitting that rock bottom and know that you will just move on from there. You know that it can't get much worse. I am hoping we can call this our rock bottom and we can finally feel the end of this violent storm that has ripped through our family leaving us desperate and confused. It's like sitting out a nasty tornado that comes ripping through praying that if you must sustain any damage that its superficial and easy to fix, only to walk out after the storm and know that its just a total loss. 

Now it is time for our family to walk out pick up what pieces we have left gather up our strength and courage and push forward. Take it day by day. We can at least say that we have each other and those who are close to us. Only time will tell where we end up but for now we are just going to take it as it comes.