Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Time goes by to fast....

Today I said goodbye to Chris as he heads back to Florida to see his family for a few more days before he departs back to Korea till November. It was hard. I have really struggled with this the last few days knowing that this of course had to come to an end. Last night of course was the worst. I think we made ourselves stay up late so that we could stretch this trip out just a bit longer. Boy am I paying for that today!
I look at my list of things we didn't get to do and what I wanted to make sure we had accomplished before he left. I was slightly disappointed but its ok. I am just glad to have had the time with him that I did. That is the most important. We both agreed that in November we can play catch up and do those things we didn't get to and try and accomplish those tasks that we never got to do. I am sure he is hoping that my place is unpacked and settled before November. I know I hope that also.
Have you ever had that total sense of being so overwhelmed and helpless you just feel that suddenly you can not do things for yourself you worry that you can't do things on your own and that you will fail and let not only yourself down but those around you? The last 48 hours those thoughts have filled my head and made me so tense and anxious I just am trying to fight them and push forward and tell myself I can do this I will be just fine. I have a slight bug problem right now and I have myself all worked up about how that will be taken care of and how I hate dealing with it and what if I can't get it under control ect. I am a nut like that I kid you not. Or stuff like all the laundry that I have to get done that has piled up. That overwhelming feeling like it will never get taken care of that and of course all my dishes that have to be rewashed. I psych myself out and work myself up and I begin to get out of control. I think Chris was seeing this and I am almost positive it started to make him upset and frustrated with me. I have been known to make mountains out of mole hills.
Yesterday the kids where in the other room playing while Chris and I prepared for our final day together. We where talking and we stopped when we heard the kids talk about Chris. They each started asking one another if they liked Chris and what they thought about him and things of that nature. They all loved him, they thought he was great and where really just crazy about him. That's about the time it hit me that they have grown so close to him and really cared about him and now it's time for him to leave. I know Chris loved hearing the things the kids had to say about him but I know deep down it made him sad to hear this right before he leaves.
Karen and Doug had Chris and I over for dinner last night. It was a wonderful meal. I loved it. I have to learn how to make it because I really want that again!! And we had peanut butter pie!! I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER PIE!!!! I was a piggy and had two slices. It was nice to just sit and talk have a great conversation with adults and not have to worry about the kids. Doug and Chris get along very well and of course he did with Karen too. I know Chris enjoyed going over there last night. We plan on going back over there once Chris is home.
Something amazing happened last night, something I never thought I would ever see or read in my lifetime. Jason and Chris spent the rest of the evening moving, cleaning and sorting while I got the girls ready for bed. They talked and I want to dare say maybe bonded?! Chris and Jason actually became FB friends too!! But that is not what surprised me the most. The thing that brought tears to my eyes and made me feel that I really had wonderful special people in my life was when I was on FB I saw Jason's status message. It reads....Jason Dimmitt is glad he got some stuffed moved in. Also I hope that Chris Thomas has a safe trip back. Glad that we meet and he is a great person. Good luck Chris t. My heart stopped I froze. I never thought I would really see something like that. I think it surprised Chris too because after about 5 minutes of staring at the screen I had to ask him if he was ok! I am really happy and now feel so much better and a lot less stress. That is good.
Well I just spoke to Chris and his flight from Dallas was delayed he got to Charlotte and missed his connecting flight so now he is suppose to leave at 4:30. He is not happy and I understand. I know this is getting to him and its really making it hard. I don't know how he does it and I am asking myself how am I going to be able to do this once he gets back and has to leave again. I know its part of the job and its a crazy lifestyle but when you care about someone sometimes that's really not important. You just support them and let them know you are always there for them even if it sucks that half the year they are gone or work all the time. I am sure they don't like it anymore than we do. So I consider this my learning period I will study hard and read up on what I can do to make it all easier!
I can not believe I got a blog in on my break! I usually get so side tracked and stuff I have to finish it later in the evening. I actually plan on blogging again to night with some pictures of Chris' handy work with the new place lol! I am sure he will need a vacation for his vacation!