Thursday, November 3, 2011

Sticks and Stones.......

....Will break my bones but words can never hurt me.  Growing up that is what our parents and teachers told us. But honestly we know no matter what words still have the power to hurt us. Sometimes it is done accidentally and we truly feel bad for saying something that would cause hurt and pain to someone else. Then there are those who go out of their way to say things to hurt them to make them feel sadness and pain because their own life is filled with such sadness and hate. A friend of mine posted something on facebook this morning on bullies and how a teacher in New York taught them in a visual sense how being a bully can hurt others. She told the children to crumple up and stomp upon their piece of notebook paper. Then once they had finished they where to open up that same paper and try to smooth it out. The children looked at the crumpled up dirty paper and the teacher says when you bully someone this is what they feel like. While you opened it up and tried to smooth it out the wrinkles, the scars the hurt is all still there and wont ever go away no matter how hard you try to fix that paper.
A situation arose last night and it made me feel like that child's crumpled up paper. I felt torn down, stepped on and has left lasting scars on my heart. I know I can't please everyone and I know for sure I can't make ever one agree with what I do but it is my life and as long as I am doing what is in the best interests of my family and myself than it is not up to anyone else to say what I am doing is wrong. I know everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and I respect that. In fact what a boring world we would live in if we all felt the same and agreed upon all the same things. I am always up for a good debate but in the end if it is a matter that involves me and my family it will be resolved by just that myself and my family.
I was crushed last night, I felt defeated and despaired. It didn't however take long before I have my friends and family rally around me to make me realize that they love and support me in what I have had to do and until someone walks a mile heck even a feet in my shoes they have no room to make judgement upon my life. I am so grateful to have those people in my life and am proud to say I have a wonderful support system. I know now who has my back and it makes me happy to know that my family and I are loved and cared for by so many.
I guess today I will buy stock in thank you cards and make sure I send every one of you one to say thank you for all that you have done for me. I always make it a point to say in person how thankful I am for those who have stepped up to help me and done something in return to show my appreciation for things done for me, given to me etc. I guess maybe handwritten sentiments is more fitting. I just have rarely ever done them and figured email, phone call, personal message face to face would be sufficient enough. Well I am not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be so yet we have found another one of my flaws and imperfections and I guess I need to change that. So to everyone who wants a handwritten note of my thanks please forward me your address so I may get those out in a timely manner.
Today is a new day and I am going to embrace it as a new start. I can't erase yesterday but I can move on, move forward and make a new start to overcome things that have hurt and upset me. So today I will spend time with those who mean the most. I wish that my 3 oldest where here to have a family day but we will have plenty of those in the weeks to come just like we had plenty of it over the weekend. But today is all about making a new start over some bumpy road.