So a few days ago I was very Bahumbugish and not at all in the Christmas spirit. I guess that changed finally at around 1:30am when Chris arrived. Yes that's right he spent 15 hours in his car. I fell asleep on the couch and jumped out of my skin when I heard him come through the front door. That it was that crazy thief coming back for that Christmas tree ha ha! I have never been so happy to see him. I worried when it took so long I of course started having horrible thoughts run through my head. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He said as soon as he exited the high way he was undoing his boots and undoing his pants so that he could just strip them off and hop into the nice warm bed. That's exactly what he did!
Christmas morning we where slightly sluggish getting up but once I got the call that the girls where on their way over Chris and I kicked into high gear to make it look good for them when we arrived. Also meant time to get ready so we could head to Mimi's house for breakfast. Ella loved her new Bitty Baby and the accessories that went with it. Hannah was thrilled to get the 2 gift cards from American Girl that would allow her to purchase a new AG doll later this week. They also got small other stuff but those where the big things at my house. Still more to open up at Chris's house. We all got dressed, the truck packed and set to head over to Mimi's and then hit the Road to Abilene.
Breakfast was yummy. I think the kids where really antsy and ready to get out to Abilene. The nibbled on their food and had that look of "LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!" We where trying to wait a bit for the roads to clear more since it was cold and um lots of snow on the ground. Yep a White Christmas here in Dallas, Texas! So we got in the truck got every situated with food, drinks and of course the electronics. We made our trek to the highway and all was great for the first hour and a half or so and we realized that highway 20 was shut down the night before and there was a sign remind us that it was still closed past Weatherford. A quick phone call to Chris's mom she confirmed that they had just opened it up but it was slow moving and advised to use extreme caution. About 30 minutes later we realized why. It was still pretty icy and full of traffic for those that had been stuck on there for hours on end. It was slightly nerve wracking but we made it through and about that time Jason and Myranda start calling to ask if we had made it yet. I told them we hit some bad roads but would be home soon. At this point the kids where ready to just jump out of their seats.
We arrived around 4pm and the kids bolted up to the apt. ready to get the gift opening going. The house looked great and the kids loved that there where presents stuck in the chimney! Once the gifts where divided up the kids ripped into their stuff. All the kids loved everything they got. Hearing them shriek and yell "look at this!" "Look what I got!" was just music to my ears. I know Chris and his mom appreciated that also. I got some great stuff also. I got new pots and pans which I really needed, a laptop that is in the works and will hopefully be here soon, some wonderful Bath and Body Works stuff and a game of Chutes and Ladders. Don't ask about the game Chris must think I am still a kid or something ha ha! We had a yummy Lasagna dinner and I spent the rest of my evening up loading pictures and setting up all the new electronic devices. I guess I should also mention that the kids each got new bikes and they where super excited about that! To bad it was to cold and icy to ride or else they would have gone out that night!
Saturday we got up hung out around the house the kids played their games, watched tv and entertained Lily. They really wanted to hurry up and get going because Chris and I where going to take them over to the base so they could see it and see what it was all about. We left the house around noon, I got my guest pass, and we where set. The kids saw these big huge planes and they where awestruck! I have pictures posted on Facebook of it. They didn't want to leave. We went and looked at almost all the planes they had on display, showed them the base houses, where Chris works, and the BX. They really liked how quiet and peaceful it is. We are planning on going out there again this week. We got home dropped the girls with Jason and then me and my boys went to eat a later dinner and head off to bed.
So I just lost the last part of this blog so anyways we are about 96 miles away from Abilene. The girls are sleeping and that's how we like it! We have some fun things planned for the week. I am just sad Sean isn't able to join us but I told him the next time we have a long weekend and we are able we would take a trip out there. He seemed ok with that. Well pictures won't upload and I am feeling the need just to wrap this up since I forgot half of what I was typing ha ha! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and I hope everyone has a great New Year!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
BAH HUMBUG!
In the last 36 hours I feel that this holiday is mocking me and my excitement. Since yesterday at lunch time all I keep getting is bad news. Chris who was suppose to leave Wednesday after work was told that he had to work on Christmas Eve. ICK! Already I could feel things that where suppose to happen where just going to be halted. I called my aunt told her the situation and she said that Doug could pick us up and not to worry. Ok fine it will work not how I expected it to be but I don't want to let the kids down. I get through the rest of the evening but I was grouchy and decided that I would just stay up as late as I want to. 2am I decided eh I am bored lets call it a night.
It was about 4am and from my living room I heard a loud jingling and then crashing sound. I thought one of two things. First that someone was breaking in or Chris was surprising me by coming here in the middle of the night. I peeked up terrified from my bed to notice the Christmas lights from the tree that I could once see where no longer visible from my bed. "Son of a.....!" I mutter as I flip on the lights and walk out to the living room. The sight I saw made my blood boil! My tree had fallen over on the chair and ottoman. Ornaments and broken pieces where everywhere! "Are you kidding me!" I guess I muttered a bit to loudly because Hannah come out wondering to the living room half a sleep asking me what was wrong and why the tree was laying on the floor. I told her to go back to bed before she got glass in her feet. She seemed upset to see me taking decorations off the tree before Christmas. I only took off the top half of the ornaments so that the tree might stay up better. I then pulled out the vacuum cleaned up the mess and stumbled back to bed. Chris calls 2 hours later. his mom 2 hours after that and then my aunt. I told everyone to let me sleep I am exhausted and to try back at noon!
Noon has rolled around. To my surprise Chris is on the road! Good news right? WRONG! He was 40 miles from the base left at 11am and traffic was awful! Ok I kept thinking maybe this will clear up he will be here on time. Oh did I mention it was SNOWING!!! For those of you who wished for snow for Christmas I so thank you! ( note sarcasm!) I make the icing for the jello salad the mixer doesn't work so I have to do it by hand. I plop on the couch with the kids and listen to some Christmas music and decide to check on Chris progress to see how far he had come. At this point its around 2pm he has to almost be here right?! He is stuck on 20 its so backed up he can't move. He is 198 miles from downtown Ft Worth! Good Lord! I call in a panic tell my aunt to send my uncle to get us now its rush mode! I had to be ready by 4! I figure surely by this point Chris would be almost here and meet us over at my aunts.
As we are leaving I check again. No dice he hasn't moved and there is a wreck! REALLY!! Good grief. What the heck happened to this being my best Christmas ever?! Mopey I head to my aunts with the kids. They are excited but worried about where Chris is. I find out the highway is shut down. No progress and finally we realize he just isn't coming. 2 over turned tractor trailers caused such a mess the highway was closed. Its still snowing and the roads are horrible. By 7pm or so I find that they have to get a police escort and may not go more than 20 miles an hour! I am really upset now and feel like I am losing my Christmas spirit complete!
Get home around 8 to about 4 inches of snow on my steps that lead me to my porch that is also totally covered in snow and hard to maneuver on! Is everything out to get me?! Will I catch a break at all?! I come in change walk down to Jason's borrow a broom to clean off the stairs and patio. Found table salt used the whole thing to make sure I have a safe walk way for when Chris gets here or the kids which ever makes it here first! I stood out on my patio for about 30 minutes staring off thinking about this year. I spent some time talking to my brother thanking him for the snow! Telling him how much I miss him. I think I finally reached a point where I was actually grieving his death and not just pretending like he just isn't talking to me or something. I felt so much better and was able to come inside and just relax.
It's 10pm now the snow has stopped. I just went outside and the sky has started to clear up and the moon is out making the snow look even more amazing. Still no word from Chris and I am afraid to call for fear of distracting him. So I am curled up on the couch with the new warm throw my sister got me for Christmas with some candles lit watching Lifetime Christmas movies. I am hoping to see some improvement in luck tomorrow. The kids are excited and that's what matters right?! I can't wait for them to get to Abilene and see their goodies. Just spoke to my aunt and we will be heading to her house in the morning to have a quick breakfast get together and to pick up Chris's shoes that I left there since I thought he would be meeting us there. Maybe things are looking up and changing now. Merry Christmas.
It was about 4am and from my living room I heard a loud jingling and then crashing sound. I thought one of two things. First that someone was breaking in or Chris was surprising me by coming here in the middle of the night. I peeked up terrified from my bed to notice the Christmas lights from the tree that I could once see where no longer visible from my bed. "Son of a.....!" I mutter as I flip on the lights and walk out to the living room. The sight I saw made my blood boil! My tree had fallen over on the chair and ottoman. Ornaments and broken pieces where everywhere! "Are you kidding me!" I guess I muttered a bit to loudly because Hannah come out wondering to the living room half a sleep asking me what was wrong and why the tree was laying on the floor. I told her to go back to bed before she got glass in her feet. She seemed upset to see me taking decorations off the tree before Christmas. I only took off the top half of the ornaments so that the tree might stay up better. I then pulled out the vacuum cleaned up the mess and stumbled back to bed. Chris calls 2 hours later. his mom 2 hours after that and then my aunt. I told everyone to let me sleep I am exhausted and to try back at noon!
Noon has rolled around. To my surprise Chris is on the road! Good news right? WRONG! He was 40 miles from the base left at 11am and traffic was awful! Ok I kept thinking maybe this will clear up he will be here on time. Oh did I mention it was SNOWING!!! For those of you who wished for snow for Christmas I so thank you! ( note sarcasm!) I make the icing for the jello salad the mixer doesn't work so I have to do it by hand. I plop on the couch with the kids and listen to some Christmas music and decide to check on Chris progress to see how far he had come. At this point its around 2pm he has to almost be here right?! He is stuck on 20 its so backed up he can't move. He is 198 miles from downtown Ft Worth! Good Lord! I call in a panic tell my aunt to send my uncle to get us now its rush mode! I had to be ready by 4! I figure surely by this point Chris would be almost here and meet us over at my aunts.
As we are leaving I check again. No dice he hasn't moved and there is a wreck! REALLY!! Good grief. What the heck happened to this being my best Christmas ever?! Mopey I head to my aunts with the kids. They are excited but worried about where Chris is. I find out the highway is shut down. No progress and finally we realize he just isn't coming. 2 over turned tractor trailers caused such a mess the highway was closed. Its still snowing and the roads are horrible. By 7pm or so I find that they have to get a police escort and may not go more than 20 miles an hour! I am really upset now and feel like I am losing my Christmas spirit complete!
Get home around 8 to about 4 inches of snow on my steps that lead me to my porch that is also totally covered in snow and hard to maneuver on! Is everything out to get me?! Will I catch a break at all?! I come in change walk down to Jason's borrow a broom to clean off the stairs and patio. Found table salt used the whole thing to make sure I have a safe walk way for when Chris gets here or the kids which ever makes it here first! I stood out on my patio for about 30 minutes staring off thinking about this year. I spent some time talking to my brother thanking him for the snow! Telling him how much I miss him. I think I finally reached a point where I was actually grieving his death and not just pretending like he just isn't talking to me or something. I felt so much better and was able to come inside and just relax.
It's 10pm now the snow has stopped. I just went outside and the sky has started to clear up and the moon is out making the snow look even more amazing. Still no word from Chris and I am afraid to call for fear of distracting him. So I am curled up on the couch with the new warm throw my sister got me for Christmas with some candles lit watching Lifetime Christmas movies. I am hoping to see some improvement in luck tomorrow. The kids are excited and that's what matters right?! I can't wait for them to get to Abilene and see their goodies. Just spoke to my aunt and we will be heading to her house in the morning to have a quick breakfast get together and to pick up Chris's shoes that I left there since I thought he would be meeting us there. Maybe things are looking up and changing now. Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Catching up!
Wow its been like 2.5 weeks since I wrote. Life this time of year has a way of getting away from you. It certainly has in this house. Saturday marked the end of our most hectic time of year with the Holiday Tree Lighting Celebration at the Galleria. So much has been going on and I have wanted to blog but when I get home lately all I want to do is crash and burn. So now that I am on vacation for the next 12 days I will have no excuses right?!
So here is the long and short of whats been happening with us:
1. The divorce is final and life has been going super well. In fact it was more quick and painless than I had expected it to be.
2. I learned that these Ice shows take a ton out of you! Next year I will not be skating I will happily enjoy watching my kids skate while I do the mom thing and take a zillion pictures!!
3. Having an extra set of hands around has been great even if it is only on the weekends! Still help is help right?!
4. I am super excited about Christmas this year since its all about family and I can't wait! Thursday Chris and I will take the girls skating at the mall like we have done in the past every year. Breakfast first at Corner Bakery then skate till we crash, head to my aunt/mom's house for Christmas Eve dinner, Friday morning head to Abilene where the kids will have all their Christmas goodies! I can't wait to see their faces!
5. A fun trip planned to Abilene the week I am off to work! The kids are excited we have so much fun stuff planned!
6. 2010 holds a lot of fun and exciting things and I can't wait to get it kicked off! I know this year will be amazing!
7. Hannah seems to be doing better with school. We are trying to stay positive and keep focused. Extra help might still be needed we will see.
8. I am super proud of myself for finishing my Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve this year!
9. Oops take that back I need to find a snow globe! Hannah has been begging for one anyone have a clue as to where to find one? Hopefully before Christmas?!
10. I surprised Chris with what I like to think is a awesome Christmas gift. He got a 1yr old Black Lab named Lily on Sunday! He is in love! I am thrilled. He isn't easy to shop for!
Well I am 2 hours into my break and I am loving the fact that tomorrow we skate and that's it! I just have to make jello salad for Christmas Eve dinner. Trust me that's a piece of cake so I can't stress! I am excited to spend this Christmas with Chris and family. He hasn't been home for a Christmas in 3 years so I wanted this to be super special for him. I hope I succeed in this task.
Trust me pictures will be posted here and FB of our holiday fun! By the way check out our first holiday family photo! I think actually this is our first "family photo!" Not how thrilled we look. It was a long day!
Happy Holidays all and a wonderful blessed New Year! Time to snack and chill with my kids! They want some mommy time!!!
So here is the long and short of whats been happening with us:
1. The divorce is final and life has been going super well. In fact it was more quick and painless than I had expected it to be.
2. I learned that these Ice shows take a ton out of you! Next year I will not be skating I will happily enjoy watching my kids skate while I do the mom thing and take a zillion pictures!!
3. Having an extra set of hands around has been great even if it is only on the weekends! Still help is help right?!
4. I am super excited about Christmas this year since its all about family and I can't wait! Thursday Chris and I will take the girls skating at the mall like we have done in the past every year. Breakfast first at Corner Bakery then skate till we crash, head to my aunt/mom's house for Christmas Eve dinner, Friday morning head to Abilene where the kids will have all their Christmas goodies! I can't wait to see their faces!
5. A fun trip planned to Abilene the week I am off to work! The kids are excited we have so much fun stuff planned!
6. 2010 holds a lot of fun and exciting things and I can't wait to get it kicked off! I know this year will be amazing!
7. Hannah seems to be doing better with school. We are trying to stay positive and keep focused. Extra help might still be needed we will see.
8. I am super proud of myself for finishing my Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve this year!
9. Oops take that back I need to find a snow globe! Hannah has been begging for one anyone have a clue as to where to find one? Hopefully before Christmas?!
10. I surprised Chris with what I like to think is a awesome Christmas gift. He got a 1yr old Black Lab named Lily on Sunday! He is in love! I am thrilled. He isn't easy to shop for!
Well I am 2 hours into my break and I am loving the fact that tomorrow we skate and that's it! I just have to make jello salad for Christmas Eve dinner. Trust me that's a piece of cake so I can't stress! I am excited to spend this Christmas with Chris and family. He hasn't been home for a Christmas in 3 years so I wanted this to be super special for him. I hope I succeed in this task.
Trust me pictures will be posted here and FB of our holiday fun! By the way check out our first holiday family photo! I think actually this is our first "family photo!" Not how thrilled we look. It was a long day!
Happy Holidays all and a wonderful blessed New Year! Time to snack and chill with my kids! They want some mommy time!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
12 hours and counting....
Its 9:15pm and by this time tomorrow morning my life is going to take a big change. A change that I have been waiting on for almost 3 years. Tomorrow morning at 9am I will be divorced. Everything will be final and official. I will be Jamie Lauren Goldstrich. Dimmitt will be a part of my past. I have very mixed emotions and feelings about all of this. Yes unfortunate things happened in my marriage and some of which we got through others I just couldn't look past. Three years ago at this time my life was about to come to a screeching halt. Three years ago Sean was admitted to Children's Hospital for 10 days and it was right after Thanksgiving. Jason and I where working for the same company and things had been pretty tense and out of sorts there.
Exactly 3 years go on Dec 2nd Hannah skated in a Ice Show with Sasha Cohen and that was also the start of the day that would soon change the rest of my life/marriage. Hind sight I guess I should have done a few things different but I can't and that's ok. I learned when my gut is nagging and telling me something and things don't add up then listen to the gut its right. The weeks following are almost a blur to me now. I think the days I won't ever forget though are those that are forever burned into my memory. The day I was told that a man from the secret service was coming to talk to me for one is a day that I just can't put out of my mind. Try having a damn near 7ft tall man come in and interview/question you on your husbands whereabouts and his past. Then try convincing that same big guy you only know what you know and are clueless about this whole questioning. I think the highlight is facing two grown men who you have known for years, considered friends, played hockey with, and who gave you job and tell them how sorry you are for your husbands actions and that you swear on your life your fathers grave you knew nothing and had nothing to do with it. These where things I faced 3 years ago. I had to call my mother and tell her to take the kids out of the house so that police and secret service could come search the house and question Jason. It was a sick feeling a numbing feeling. How about facing your husband of 5years and telling him you know the truth and how horribly upset and disgusted you are with him.
To fill in the gaps here 3 years ago Jason and I worked for two brothers one who worked for a video production company and the other ran a janitorial service. I worked for both Jason worked for the janitorial company. Checks and money started coming up missing and it was about this time that it had been very noticeable. I made the deposits so I was the first to be questioned. The bank and statements matched my stories so of course I was no longer involved. The days went on and we figured now we had the guy how did it. The back of my mind nagged that Jason was a part of it but I couldn't bring myself to rat him out. Besides what happened if I was wrong?! Finally Sean was released from the hospital and I was working a somewhat normal schedule again. But when that damn near 7ft tall guy came to talk to me it was all over. I knew at that point and time my gut was right and I was a fool for not saying something. That and the fact the guy at the check cashing place said he had to keep my check because we where writing bad checks. I knew then that something was wrong. I called Joe and told him. He was as shocked as I was but we kept quiet till we knew more. More was just days away.
I had police search my place and confiscate things for evidence and for legal use. I was told they had to do a warrant and that they would notify me so that I could have Jason turn himself in. Oh did I mention because of this I was now unemployed? Yes his actions and my nieveness lead me to lose my job. He still had his rink job and I was so mad but looking back now I am glad he had it. I spent a lot of time those next few days soul searching, thinking, contemplating. December 14th I was with the kids at the mall. I got the call that it was time to bring Jason back to the place where it all took place to turn him in. I went to the house with the kids. He got in the car it was a quiet tear filled ride. The secret service was there to take him into custody. I made sure the back windows where covered so that the kids didn't know what was going on. They just knew daddy was going away for a while. In all it was I think 14 counts 7 for check theft 7 for forgery. 3 checks never materialized I guess. Or where printed but never used. That's felonies for those where unsure. Not his first go round with this either.
The kids and I where in a fog for a while. Thankfully my mom and brother and sister where living with us at the time. This is back when I think my mom was almost in a better spot. She helped me keep a routine going, get help from the state, keep me positive and make sure Christmas still happened. I had a friend who was a big help that year. Christmas came and went and the kids where troopers. Hannah skated her ice shows and did amazing. They truly are resilient creatures.
The days following this where hard I was filled with anger and resentment. Though it seemed horrible changes came that have now put me where I am now. The kids started at the Community School and a few months later I got a wonderful job teaching there. Jason was out of jail by the first of the year and, by the grace of god, able to keep his job. The girls where still able to skate. We count our blessings. I got my first place on my own. It was a joke but still a first for me. I learned a lot about myself and it makes me proud now to know who I really am.
Three years later here I am. 12 hours from divorce, still teaching where I love, engaged to a wonderful loving supportive man, and the girls are still skating.
Walking into that courtroom will be hard tomorrow. I will be saying good bye to a person I was. I will be a different person. A man I fell in love with 9 years ago will now be the ex. I will have a new life now with a old familiar name I haven't used in years and thought was long gone. Jason was not a horrible thing that happened to me. He was a part of a life experience that I had. He gave me 2 wonderful daughters, he was a good man who tried to hard, he wanted to be what he couldn't and thought that's what I wanted. But life is a lesson and we live and learn. He is forever a part of my life. A part of me will always care about him. I have no ill will, no hate for him. He is a well liked man through his co workers and friends. He is a caring man who would help anyone. He still helps me and doesn't have to. Yes we fight, argue, make each other crazy. We are ex's its our job. But in some of my toughest times this year he has been there. For that I am thankful.
In 12 hours I am a Goldstrich again. Dimmitt is no longer a part of me. The girls are all I have to tie me to that. They will keep those memories alive for me. I can't believe its all coming to an end. How weird it will be to have my future husband be there for me when I am there to no longer be with my present husband. It's almost like a changing of the guards. One will take over while the other is released of his duties.
Good night all. Sweet dreams
Exactly 3 years go on Dec 2nd Hannah skated in a Ice Show with Sasha Cohen and that was also the start of the day that would soon change the rest of my life/marriage. Hind sight I guess I should have done a few things different but I can't and that's ok. I learned when my gut is nagging and telling me something and things don't add up then listen to the gut its right. The weeks following are almost a blur to me now. I think the days I won't ever forget though are those that are forever burned into my memory. The day I was told that a man from the secret service was coming to talk to me for one is a day that I just can't put out of my mind. Try having a damn near 7ft tall man come in and interview/question you on your husbands whereabouts and his past. Then try convincing that same big guy you only know what you know and are clueless about this whole questioning. I think the highlight is facing two grown men who you have known for years, considered friends, played hockey with, and who gave you job and tell them how sorry you are for your husbands actions and that you swear on your life your fathers grave you knew nothing and had nothing to do with it. These where things I faced 3 years ago. I had to call my mother and tell her to take the kids out of the house so that police and secret service could come search the house and question Jason. It was a sick feeling a numbing feeling. How about facing your husband of 5years and telling him you know the truth and how horribly upset and disgusted you are with him.
To fill in the gaps here 3 years ago Jason and I worked for two brothers one who worked for a video production company and the other ran a janitorial service. I worked for both Jason worked for the janitorial company. Checks and money started coming up missing and it was about this time that it had been very noticeable. I made the deposits so I was the first to be questioned. The bank and statements matched my stories so of course I was no longer involved. The days went on and we figured now we had the guy how did it. The back of my mind nagged that Jason was a part of it but I couldn't bring myself to rat him out. Besides what happened if I was wrong?! Finally Sean was released from the hospital and I was working a somewhat normal schedule again. But when that damn near 7ft tall guy came to talk to me it was all over. I knew at that point and time my gut was right and I was a fool for not saying something. That and the fact the guy at the check cashing place said he had to keep my check because we where writing bad checks. I knew then that something was wrong. I called Joe and told him. He was as shocked as I was but we kept quiet till we knew more. More was just days away.
I had police search my place and confiscate things for evidence and for legal use. I was told they had to do a warrant and that they would notify me so that I could have Jason turn himself in. Oh did I mention because of this I was now unemployed? Yes his actions and my nieveness lead me to lose my job. He still had his rink job and I was so mad but looking back now I am glad he had it. I spent a lot of time those next few days soul searching, thinking, contemplating. December 14th I was with the kids at the mall. I got the call that it was time to bring Jason back to the place where it all took place to turn him in. I went to the house with the kids. He got in the car it was a quiet tear filled ride. The secret service was there to take him into custody. I made sure the back windows where covered so that the kids didn't know what was going on. They just knew daddy was going away for a while. In all it was I think 14 counts 7 for check theft 7 for forgery. 3 checks never materialized I guess. Or where printed but never used. That's felonies for those where unsure. Not his first go round with this either.
The kids and I where in a fog for a while. Thankfully my mom and brother and sister where living with us at the time. This is back when I think my mom was almost in a better spot. She helped me keep a routine going, get help from the state, keep me positive and make sure Christmas still happened. I had a friend who was a big help that year. Christmas came and went and the kids where troopers. Hannah skated her ice shows and did amazing. They truly are resilient creatures.
The days following this where hard I was filled with anger and resentment. Though it seemed horrible changes came that have now put me where I am now. The kids started at the Community School and a few months later I got a wonderful job teaching there. Jason was out of jail by the first of the year and, by the grace of god, able to keep his job. The girls where still able to skate. We count our blessings. I got my first place on my own. It was a joke but still a first for me. I learned a lot about myself and it makes me proud now to know who I really am.
Three years later here I am. 12 hours from divorce, still teaching where I love, engaged to a wonderful loving supportive man, and the girls are still skating.
Walking into that courtroom will be hard tomorrow. I will be saying good bye to a person I was. I will be a different person. A man I fell in love with 9 years ago will now be the ex. I will have a new life now with a old familiar name I haven't used in years and thought was long gone. Jason was not a horrible thing that happened to me. He was a part of a life experience that I had. He gave me 2 wonderful daughters, he was a good man who tried to hard, he wanted to be what he couldn't and thought that's what I wanted. But life is a lesson and we live and learn. He is forever a part of my life. A part of me will always care about him. I have no ill will, no hate for him. He is a well liked man through his co workers and friends. He is a caring man who would help anyone. He still helps me and doesn't have to. Yes we fight, argue, make each other crazy. We are ex's its our job. But in some of my toughest times this year he has been there. For that I am thankful.
In 12 hours I am a Goldstrich again. Dimmitt is no longer a part of me. The girls are all I have to tie me to that. They will keep those memories alive for me. I can't believe its all coming to an end. How weird it will be to have my future husband be there for me when I am there to no longer be with my present husband. It's almost like a changing of the guards. One will take over while the other is released of his duties.
Good night all. Sweet dreams
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