Monday, May 27, 2013

Reliving the past

Sean is my soon to be teenage son. He loves to hear about stories from my childhood. He wants to hear funny stories of his late Uncle Alex, whom he loved dearly. He also likes to hear about what my childhood and my life was like. We sort of got on this topic today while the two of us constructed his little brother's trampoline. Really it was so strange we were talking about how the instructions sucked and how we were more than likely doing this wrong and then suddenly he had me reminiscing of what my childhood was like. He is sneaky like that. I generally one to avoid most of my childhood because while it wasn't horrible it still had a lot of sadness that went with it and I generally don't want Sean to know about that or any of my kids for that matter. 

So suddenly we go from griping on how much putting that trampoline together sucks to what I had growing up, to what my life was like and what my parents did and how well off we were. See I told you he is a pretty sneaky fella. He caught me when my guard was down and it was just the two of us. Maybe because it was just the two of us is why I opened up to him. Chris was off doing homework, H was off playing and we had locked ourselves in the room to accomplish this huge task. He asked a simple question if I had a trampoline as a kid and the conversation suddenly went from there.

It sort of went like this... Sean " so mom did you have a trampoline as a kid?" Me "yes I did we had a big rectangle one in our backyard along with lots of other stuff." Sean "So you had a pool too I bet? What else did you have back there?" Me " Yes we had a pool and a swing set and at one point a giant play house. Sean we had it nice when I was a child nothing like what you have experienced and I hate that." No mind you my child is not deprived but growing up we had a great house always had a nice pool and all sorts of great things for us. We were spoiled I won't lie. I wish for nothing more to have a nice house with a big yard so my kids could experience what it was like to have what I had growing up. 

Of course this now lead to what my parents did. I mean why wouldn't it? He wants to understand why I had all that money growing up and how I didn't have an inheritance. Trust me there are days I wish more than anything there was one. Sean " So what did your parents do?" Me " My dad was the breadwinner, he was an entrepreneur he loved to start up big businesses make good money, sell them and move on to something else." Sean " Wow really! What did he do?" Me " Well back in the day there was a soccer apparel company and his partner both owned it was called Lotto. When his partner had a heart attack they decided it would be best to sell the company. It wasn't doing well and my dad wanted to just break even and not lose any money on this. I am sure he is still kicking his butt in his grave when a few years later the company took off and became a multimillion dollar company." Sean "Wow really! So you would have had a big inheritance from that right? So what else did he do?" Me" after that he decided to open a shoe company called it Gold Shoes. It was a spin off of another shoe company Kappa I want to say that had interchangeable logos on the side that you could put different colors etc. This was similar in concept and on the back was a small gold g ( The g actually looked like this one.) 

At this point I was growing a bit irritated, not because of his questions more so over how my childhood went to topnotch to just figuring out how to get by day to day and get through school and having our roof over our heads. My mom never worked once she married my dad. She never worked until they got divorced and she was essentially forced to do so. I stopped before it got too deep because he really didn't need to know all the details. I basically went on to tell him that my dad worked for my uncle and his furniture company that is still very successful to my knowledge, he worked for another uncle setting up bingo halls and that is still going strong for my uncle and he does well with it. His last job was his own tobacco store called tobacco row. There might still be one or two in Dallas as he sold them as he got to ill and moved away. 

Sean looked at me and finally asked me where all the money went. I told him that my parents got divorced my father got sick, my mom struggled to find a job that would cover all the stuff we were used to and all the money that we were suppose to have went to make sure we had our essentials each month. He put two and two together and said so basically if things didn't go that way we wouldn't be here? 

I was about to answer and then I realized just how much this question caught me off guard. I said "yes, no, well I am not sure." I think we would still be here in Abilene but maybe in a house or we might be in Dallas and have a house. Heck I have no idea. I told him there is so many what ifs to put into play. 

Sean brought up how much he loved spending the night with my mom and how she used to be a doctor. I corrected him and said a phlebotomist. He asked what she did now and I explained no one wants a shaky handed person drawing their blood and that she no longer works because now she is ill and its hard for her to leave the house. Mom just had surgery actually and I need to make it a point to see her the next time I am in town. We have had our fair share of problems but she is doing her best now and now more than ever I should try and work things out because who knows how much longer she will be around.

When Sean left the room I really thought about how much different my life would be if my parents had stayed together. I just have no idea where I would be. I know I might not be here, I might not have these wonderful children or these life experiences that have made me the woman I am. I miss my father greatly, my children are missing out on a wonderful grandfather. I was irritated at first that Sean made me relive that past but at the same time I really did get to relive some great memories that I had forgotten about. Man I love that kid!