Thursday, January 27, 2011

The long good bye

It's 11pm on Thursday night and while I should be heading to bed I am wide awake. I have started my good byes today and wow this is hard. I guess I never thought this day would come. Tomorrow will start one of the longest days ever!
Tonight was filled with high emotions in our house. While it might not be said the things that have gone on the last few days in our house show quiet clearly how much this is effecting them. I took each girl aside and told them how much they mean to me and its ok to tell me how they feel. Both told me they were both happy for me and mad at me. I understood and told them it's alright. I can't fault their feelings. I told them things will be work out and we will all be fine. Daddy loves them so much and is going to take fantastic care of them. He was on top of everything for the 3 months I was out of commission this summer so what's a little bit longer right?!
While they laid sleeping tonight I curled up in each of their beds stroked their hair, cuddled them close and told them how much I love them and what they mean to me. I am going to miss our chaos, and craziness. The laughs we have had the anger and frustration have made us who we are as a family. We have had our highs and lows but I love those girls so much and I can't say that I am looking forward to not having them in our house on a daily basis.
Tomorrow night Sean will be here and I am not sure how it will be. We have a unique relationship but we are also very open with things to one another. I am hoping after our gathering tomorrow me and him can find some quiet time to talk and i can tell him how much I love him and what he means to me. These children are my life! They are the air I breath. They are what motivate me to be who I am on a daily basis.
I wrote a letter to everyone at the school that I am hoping will be sent out tomorrow before the end of the day. I am not sure I can express to everyone face to face how I feel and everything so I have decided to write a letter. If in fact this letter does actually go out I will make a special posting for all to see. I would rather it be a surprise to everyone than to read it on here.
Tomorrow night is our get together. I am excited to see friends and family that are able to attend. I know saying good bye in a setting like this will be easier and more fun. I have planned on cooking and baking everything we can't take to Abilene along with ordering pizzas. Chris' friend from work will be coming in late tomorrow night to help us with the move Saturday. He is a saint for being able to drop everything at pretty much the last second to help us! Thank you Randell!
So Chris is passed out on the couch, and Hunter is asleep. Maybe I just take a hint from my family an head to bed. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I will be taking my camera to work tomorrow so I can have the opportunity to save the memories of my last day! I will update tomorrow or Saturday before we leave.