Thursday, January 20, 2011

Down the road I go..

Wow did January really fly by that quickly?! It is bad enough the holiday season came and went but now to have this month fly by just baffles me. Of course the life in this house has been a whirlwind since about the middle of December so it only makes sense for me to feel this way right?

As most everyone knows now a lot of major things have been going on in the Dimmitt/Thomas house now for a while. One of the big ones is Hunter and I moving to be with Chris at the end of this month. The girls with stay with their dad. We all agree this is the best arrangement because of it being almost of the end of the school year, the kids have established lives here, routine, etc. And with Hannah starting a special program for her dyslexia too so we feel that this is the best for the girls. I will still see them and they will come stay with us on long weekends, holidays, vacations, and breaks. We could be out there a year at the most. The other big thing was Hunter's health. Christmas Eve we were diagnosed with RSV. We were very fortunate to not have to stay in the hospital. Looking back it might have been the best place for him to get better. We battled for a month with it, which it normally takes a while for a baby to get over RSV but with him being a premie we probably would have benefited from a hospital stay but with it being Christmas we I think were given a pass. In same cases the worst that happens with RSV is coughing and maybe an ear infection. Well we had that plus Pneumonia in the left lung and also now has developed reflux. We were told that children who have issues like these will develop reflux because of the drainage etc. Well all of this landed us in the hospital for a few days. The doctors and nurses worked their magic and we have a much better, much happier little boy.

Moving right along now, next week is my last week at The Community School. In the almost 4 years of teaching there my life has changed in so many ways. This place has become my second family. These people who have been there with me have been there through my darkest hours and my happiest. The more I think about it the harder it is becoming to let it hit me that I am really leaving. I will miss all the parents, teachers and children there so much. So many people there have touched my life in so many ways.

For the last week or so I have decided to put my alone time on hold and have my girls cuddle up into bed with me. That was until last night when Ella got sick. But I promised them next week we would cuddle till we can't cuddle any more! I see it daily the effects of my moving on them. the overly emotional behavior and the way they talk. It breaks my heart. I know it is hard on Sean to. This weekend is my last weekend alone with him. We are going to make it special some how. I know how hard this will be for him to. As it is he only sees me on the weekends but now it will be like every other weekend. But I tell myself I am doing what is for the best and that I will be home soon. Chris knows how hard this is for me and is doing what he can to make this transition smoother.

I know there are people who in the back of their mind must think that I am ditching these kids and wanting to start a new life with my new husband and baby. To them I say walk a mile in my shoes. I take care of 3 kids during the week by myself with help from my ex husband but that is about it. I work full time and come home to take care of them ALONE! For the last 18 months I have done this but now I feel that to make life less stressful, save money and sanity this is how I must solve this problem. Again if you don't get it please come over trade places with me and a the end of the day see how it feels.

Next Friday I am hoping my family and friends can join us as we say good bye to Dallas and hello to Abilene. I am looking forward to sharing this time with my family and friends because I know we all lead such busy lives and it is always hit and miss on getting together. So I do hope everyone can come by even if it just for a few minutes to say good bye and help us celebrate my new journey. Thankfully though Abilene is only 3 hours away and I will be home the following weekend for Hunter to have a check up so I guess it could be worse.

So I know I should probably be sleeping now but I have so much on my mind. I still have so much packing, organizing and cleaning to do I have no idea were to begin. I have used the excuse of work and Hunter being sick I think long enough now. I do think part of me is having a hard time accepting this transition and figures if I just ignore it, it will all go away. So far it's not working and I feel that I am accumulating rather than losing! Well I think I should try and force some shut eye. I have a baby with an erratic sleep schedule lately so who knows he could be up in 5 minutes or he could be up at 7am, who knows with him. So now it's time to say good night. Sweet dreams. Until I blog again........