So this is Christmas

Who else agrees we needed a bit more time to prepare for Christmas this year????  I am sitting here at a quarter to 6 in the evening and thinking really this was Christmas. The girls slept in till after 7am and H was up close to 8. Granted he was up late since he is not feeling well and he was also pretty anxious and trying to stim around the living room till midnight. The kids waited patiently to open gifts and have played well most of the day. God bless the creator of Legos! That is all they have done. I haven't heard a peep except for a few clomps down the stairs for some snacks or a drink.
We left around 11am to go pick up Sean at our designated half way mark. Of course what Christmas day roadtrip would not be complete with out a little winter weather. After a quick phone call to his step mom we agreed to go ahead that nothing seemed to be sticking. We get home opened the remainder of the gifts cooked a little and have relaxed. The kids kept to themselves and H floated between being with his siblings or being down here with his toys or watching TV.
Between the drive and sitting here I really started thinking about this Christmas compared to all the past ones. How many variances there was compared to the previous. There was so much more hoopla and excitement in the past. The house would be decked out and the tree covered in nice ornaments, the house was always full of guests and friends for parties and just random gatherings, going to parties and spending lots of time out of the house. This year we went to holiday parties but they were therapy related so of course those went fairly smooth. We had a few events on the books it just never panned out which is fine.
I started thinking on Thursday how we needed just a few more days between then and today because I was not ready for Christmas and I just didn't feel in the holiday spirit. I was hoping as the days drew closer to Christmas i would feel more prepared and ready for it but nothing. Sunday we picked up girls and I though surely this would get me in the spirit and boy did I try. We made ornaments, and paper chains, and listened to Christmas music. I was fighting to find that spirit I was lacking. Yesterday after a few errands I decided to get with the girls and bake some treats for our friends and family. I was getting closer but still really nothing. We dropped off the goodies and took a walk around the cul de sac to look at lights and ended up meeting some great new neighbors. I made a mental note to go walking down to that part of the neighborhood not only to mooch the fire pit and some good girl talk.
Last night the girls went to bed without a fuss and I got to playing Santa. Thank goodness nothing required assembly! Shortly after midnight the tree was set and I went to bed. I was sure the girls would be up with the sun begging to go see their gifts. We were up before them and just laid quietly to see how long it would take before we could bust one of them sneaking off downstairs to check out the goods. I have to admit I am a bit disappointed in not being to catch them in the act. The agreement was they opened one gift from us, one gift from Aunt Jordan and Jenny and their stocking and wait for the rest later. They complied without issue which was nice. I thought for sure with the snow we would see a bit more Christmas spirit and I would feel that it should be Christmas.
I have sat here trying to figure it out and I can't explain it. So this was our Christmas. I really want to spend it with family next year and by family I mean extended family. Now that Jordan and Ronnie have a baby I think it would nice to do more of a real big family thing like we did growing up. I am so hooked on that. I guess maybe I should let it go but I just can't. I know we kept it low key to make it easier on H and it was for the most part. I can't keep him sheltered and the more he is exposed the better training it is for him. Even just the little bit of extra stimulation tonight has caused him to go nuts. No light switch is safe, no block will go untossed, and no non food item will be missed. While it is hard to watch at the same time this is H and we love him and understand this is all part of it. So this was Christmas and what a great Christmas it was.