If I could turn back time

Tonight I got a little quality time on Facebook due to a child who wanted to lay in his tent and me being ill. I actually got to see posts from friends I would normally miss and sometimes wondered if we will still connected on this social site. I started looking at friends pages and realized I have actually lost quiet a few in just the last month. While this normally doesn't bother most heck even me most of the time I saw that I had lost quiet a few friends who used to be in my close inner circle. 
I guess around the time of us dealing with H and his diagnosis and the focus of school, work and family caused me to neglect my friendships. I know I should have done more to let them know I was still there just a bit distant and preoccupied. I have only one or two friends out of that close circle and that makes me sad. I am so aware that life happens and we grow and change. Most of those in my circle are still military wives and have that along with their other obligations to focus on. I respect that and I need to understand that my life as a military wife is now over and I need to move on. I guess I didn't realize I would have to leave so many of those friends behind as I transitioned back to my old life. 
The loss of some of these friends really does hurt. I wish as they unfriended me there was a comment card saying why did you choose to unfriend so and so. At least I could know what I did wrong or not did wrong to lose some special people. To be honest though in the real world without social media people often fade the same way sometimes with little to no reason at all so its just something I should accept. I reflect back to some of those memories and know we shared some great memories and I miss that time we had a friends. 
I wonder if I could turn back time and juggle things a bit differently if things might be different now. I however wouldn't want to engage in a friendship with someone who just couldn't understand my lifestyle and how I do things. All of us are different we parent differently, we value and view things differently we also have different opinions. I think that is what makes us so special as friends because we can bring all sorts of difference to the table and shed light on things we might not normally see if we associated with all the same people who did everything the same as you. I know it would be boring and who wants boring!
A few weeks ago I decided not to cut my ties with those I still barely cling to as friends. I am trying hard to maintain those friendships the best that I can. I also however started a parent groups with some other special needs families so that we had some sort of common ground and a place to go where others understood. I have often heard that once you have a special needs child your friendships change and you might lose quiet a few whom you once thought you held super close. I see that is happening and I know I can't change how others view me as a friend and how I do things its just how I am and I am not going to change who I am to make others like me. 
I am not going to lie when I saw those names not on my list anymore it was a bit sad. I guess that time together has come to an end and we have grown apart. I wish those friends well and will miss them dearly. I hope they cherish the memories we had made and never regret the friendships we shared. Maybe this is a sign to me to maybe make more time for my friends. To step back and say that no one can be friends with someone who does not make the effort. So I will be doing more to make that effort because it goes both ways.