I rarely have those "whoa is me" pitty moments but for some reason today I did. Let me start however by saying that H had a wonderful first day of school and that it was everything we had hoped for. He enjoyed the smaller ratios, really enjoyed his teacher and even went on the potty!! Granted he missed and peed on his pants it was still counted as him going on the potty so we will take it!
So why do I think I deserve a small pitty party today then? My birthday boy started Pre-K today and it was only because he is considered disabled. I should be thrilled he is getting top notch care and education with PPCD but there is still a part of me that is sad that he is only getting this due to his, well disability. I need to put that aside and focus on the needs of my child and know that this is not a bad thing but that this is what he needs and he deserves, what we have fought to hard to get for him.
When I saw my sweet boys face walking down the hall I knew that he had a great day and was adapting to his new environment. I could see the exhaustion in his face but I saw the pride he had when he got off the bus. My co worker told me as she retrieved him from the bus he was very excited. I later read a note from his teacher that went into great detail on his day. This was reassuring and she was glad to have him in her class.
Tonight was my oldest son's open house at his middle school. Sean is in 8th grade and we are really focused on getting him prepared for high school. The original plan was to keep H at home with dad so that he could relax and not have to endure the insanity of the outing. However that plan quickly changed when Chris was needed to help out at TLC. I was left with two choices. Take this birthday boy to his big brother's meet the teacher or stay home and have a quiet evening celebrating our big 3 year olds day. I want Sean to know I take great interest in his education and want to see him succeed so of course we opted to go to his open house.
In order to make this evening happen in my mind I rushed home from the stables to grab H's iPad. I figured while I am talking to teacher's he can sit on the floor and go to town. I had this perfect plan all mapped out and was only kidding myself that it was fool proof. After all when is a child on the spectrum EVER predictable?! I think in hindsight this was his way for getting back at me for now jacking with two birthdays of his.
We showed up with about 15 minutes left of the PTA meeting. I really wanted to get info on this so that I might consider getting involved and also know what is going on with the school. Aside from sitting in the way back of the cafeteria it was almost done so I missed most the info and I could hardly hear. I sat with a friend of ours who is almost like an uncle to H. I knew if he started struggling he would understand. However what I was not prepared for was H to start his uncontrollable laughter that echoed and boomed through the cafeteria. Uncle Seth was not much help in fact it was all he could do to refrain from laughing uncontrollably himself! I stepped out a few times till he stopped, would return hand him his iPad and breathe, only to have him start up AGAIN! I would like to assume the PTA meeting ended early due to the fact that there was no more business to discuss and not due to the fact my child was so loud that more attention was on him than the PTA president.
We made a bee line to Sean's first period Science class. We still had about 8 minutes before the meeting of the teachers actually began but thankfully his science teacher saw my sense of urgency to get this done so she gave us the skinny and we bolted. We made it to the next classroom, this one was actually his 3rd period class however for the sake of back tracking we just went to it next. This is about the time it went down hill. I am thankful to a friend of ours who was in the room who can fill me in on what I missed since this was the class that Sean wants to drop and I want to know what this class entailed before letting him drop. I got as far as it being a computer class and it happened. I wanted to suddenly melt away into the floor and just vanish from all the eyes that landed upon me and H.
I generally do not become phased by the quirks of H. In fact I have learned to embrace them. However I do recall what it was like to be in that awkward teenage years and how easily embarrassed they can become. I was trying to make this as enjoyable as possible without drawing attention to H and making this about Sean. I quickly grabbed H stepped out in the hall and fought back tears. I was caught off guard by those tears and did what I could to quickly stop them. No more attention needed to be drawn to us. He was to far gone to even use a brush or chew tub. I managed to get his weighted compression vest on but that was minimal help at best. Saved by the bell! It was time to take Sean to his next class. I avoided eye contact with everyone grabbed our stuff and bolted to the hall.
We headed over to the gym where I thought we could be safe. Sean and I agree we were safe for about 10 seconds. H sat up on the bleachers and when he realized there was a echo in the gym he proceeded to growl, shriek and laugh as loud as he could to hear the sound. I don't know about you guys but my gym teachers where always pretty intimidating and these guys were no different. I I was hoping that the next 4 minutes and 50 seconds would just hurry up so we could leave. I am sure the other parents around us felt the same.
We got to the next room and realized he was done. Between trying to turn on all the computers, take down a desk, strip and hide under a table it was all over. Oh did I mention the teacher never once acknowledged us continued talking to her co workers and just let us sit there. Sean was even embarrassed by this teacher and told me he was sorry we just had to sit through that. I will email her I guess.
We got to the car and I let out a sigh of relief. It was over this hell was over. Then it hit me. Today is H's birthday and I just dragged him around for over an hour through a middle school with tons of people, lots of noise and no familiarity to it at all. I realized this is the second birthday in a row I have essentially screwed him on. I felt crappy. This is not fair! It's not fair to us and it is certainly not fair to him!
Last years birthday was spent in a developmental pedi's office in Lubbock being told our child had Fragile X and he needed genetic testing and nothing much more was said to us. We made him endure a 2 hour car ride, a 20 min doctors apt that was a joke and then 3 big males holding him down to draw blood. Gosh I guess if this was me I would retaliate and let it be known that I don't enjoy spending my birthday like this at all!
When we put ourselves in new situations with H we realize how unfair it is for us. These things require pep talks and social stories, every trick known in the book and tag teaming. I did none of that tonight and that was unfair to H. This is not resentment towards H it is my frustration of this Spectrum Disorder that now consumed our life. However if you were to have sat back and asked Sean if he cared about his brother's behavior tonight he said he didn't care. He knows this is who he is and accepts him and if his peers can't its their loss. So while this all seems so unfair its just how our life is. To be comfortable and accepting of this is now up to us regardless of our situations we are in.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
They don't belong here...
I used to be one of those people who would encounter a difficult child and say " Oh they don't belong here!" They would be hard to handle, difficult children that made me question my ability to work with children. I had only been working with children a short time and had not even begun my pursuit of a CDA (Child Development Associates) or Early Childhood Degree. I didn't know much about Sensory Processing Disorder, auditory and speech impairments or even what challenging behaviors were. To me ti was a parent not doing their job and spoiling their child. Don't get me wrong I am well aware there are plenty of those running around so I am not naive to that!
My first three years I encountered both types of children yet I was green to the ways of handling them. I admit I didn't have the patients I do now and I believe that has come with time in the field. My first real encounter with children who had developmental delays were real eye openers. It was a frustrating time, but in the end taught me so much. They had their strength's and their weaknesses just like their typical peers. They might have been harder to work with and require much more time and attention but in the end it really did teach me a lot.
In last few years my encounters have grown and each time I learn a bit more and become much more patient and understanding. It was while working with one of my most severely behaviorally challenged child that I really began to see that we do give up hope on those children much to easily. This little boy was roughly three and a half years old, bi lingual, not potty trained, from a very unstable home, dad was incarcerated, step dad raised him while mom worked most of the time along with taking care of his other siblings. The deck was becoming stacked against this kid. Throw in some anger issues and speech delays some might say it was no wonder he was constantly given up on and moved from one care givers room to another.
Every teacher who, up until this point, had him had given up on him, treated him like an outcast and that he simply didn't belong here. He was very smart and very lovable when he was given the chance but he was in tune to those who casted him aside and so in return gave them nothing. If I called out of work they wold send him home because he would misbehave or the teachers simply didn't want to deal with him. I personally enjoyed having him in my class and learned quiet a bit from him. Children are not one size fits all they are unique and special. You have to treat them and work with them accordingly.
As time has gone on it has shown me that I really had a lot to learn when it comes to working with children. I found myself very occupied suddenly with school and training. I needed to be arming myself with more than I had been. Not long after that I found myself with a child who has special needs and my understanding and knowledge grew ten fold in that time. It really has heightened my sensitivity to how these children are treated.
It seems when you are more focused on a certain thing you become more aware of it in your surroundings. In this case I am focused on special needs and behavior. I guess the norm now a days is to kick them to the curb or blot them off when they don't fit our cookie cutter mold of the perfect child. How will they be what we want them to be if we constantly cast them off to the side and not give them the chance? How can we help them learn and grow when we shut them out? How can we get them to respect us when we ourselves don't respect them? The answer is simple, we won't and we can't until we open ourselves up and really take the time to address these situations. If we are constantly passing the buck eventually we are going to come up broke, empty handed and guilty of not doing what we set out to do when we became an educator. We have not only failed the child but we have in turn failed ourselves also.
So I ask you to really think about the next time you say a child doesn't belong here, where do they belong? Why don't they belong? How can you fix it and get them to somehow belong?
My first three years I encountered both types of children yet I was green to the ways of handling them. I admit I didn't have the patients I do now and I believe that has come with time in the field. My first real encounter with children who had developmental delays were real eye openers. It was a frustrating time, but in the end taught me so much. They had their strength's and their weaknesses just like their typical peers. They might have been harder to work with and require much more time and attention but in the end it really did teach me a lot.
In last few years my encounters have grown and each time I learn a bit more and become much more patient and understanding. It was while working with one of my most severely behaviorally challenged child that I really began to see that we do give up hope on those children much to easily. This little boy was roughly three and a half years old, bi lingual, not potty trained, from a very unstable home, dad was incarcerated, step dad raised him while mom worked most of the time along with taking care of his other siblings. The deck was becoming stacked against this kid. Throw in some anger issues and speech delays some might say it was no wonder he was constantly given up on and moved from one care givers room to another.
Every teacher who, up until this point, had him had given up on him, treated him like an outcast and that he simply didn't belong here. He was very smart and very lovable when he was given the chance but he was in tune to those who casted him aside and so in return gave them nothing. If I called out of work they wold send him home because he would misbehave or the teachers simply didn't want to deal with him. I personally enjoyed having him in my class and learned quiet a bit from him. Children are not one size fits all they are unique and special. You have to treat them and work with them accordingly.
As time has gone on it has shown me that I really had a lot to learn when it comes to working with children. I found myself very occupied suddenly with school and training. I needed to be arming myself with more than I had been. Not long after that I found myself with a child who has special needs and my understanding and knowledge grew ten fold in that time. It really has heightened my sensitivity to how these children are treated.
It seems when you are more focused on a certain thing you become more aware of it in your surroundings. In this case I am focused on special needs and behavior. I guess the norm now a days is to kick them to the curb or blot them off when they don't fit our cookie cutter mold of the perfect child. How will they be what we want them to be if we constantly cast them off to the side and not give them the chance? How can we help them learn and grow when we shut them out? How can we get them to respect us when we ourselves don't respect them? The answer is simple, we won't and we can't until we open ourselves up and really take the time to address these situations. If we are constantly passing the buck eventually we are going to come up broke, empty handed and guilty of not doing what we set out to do when we became an educator. We have not only failed the child but we have in turn failed ourselves also.
So I ask you to really think about the next time you say a child doesn't belong here, where do they belong? Why don't they belong? How can you fix it and get them to somehow belong?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Dear ECI
With only two weeks left with our ECI team I started thinking of what their dedication and services have done for not only our H but for our family.
Dear Staci, Becky, Starla and the rest of the team who has spent time helping us with H,
Here we are just a few weeks away from our last weeks with you, two to be exact. This is just almost to hard to write because part of me in still in denial our services with you will be ending soon. 18 months ago we started our journey with you. I was unsure of what would even come of our initial consultation, if anyone would even see the need for it or if I was just a paranoid mom who forgot what it was like to raise a toddler boy.
In May of 2012 we began this journey. I have saved every print off that I was given from the first 6 months prior to our first appointment to gain a actual diagnosis. I often look at those on days where I think things are not going well and look and see just how far we have come. Sometimes it's those actual notes that completely keep me motivated in doing what I do for H. When I see how bad it was and how much work was needing to be done and then I know everything we have gone through was for a purpose. I would not change any of it.
The day we headed out for our first diagnosis I just remember the support Staci gave and told me to be strong. If it didn't go well we could always ask for a second opinion. At the end of the day I called her in tears at the possible diagnosis and I remember Staci saying we will just do what we have always done he is still the same child no matter what the diagnosis. We also ended up going with that second opinion. I am so glad to this day we did that.
As we have moved on I feel our team has bonded and grown together. We have laughed together, cried together, and certainly felt beyond frustrated together. My team has become like family to us. I count on these visits and consults like I count on visits with my own family. I know that H has grown to count on his weekly Tuesday visits with Ms. Staci. His eyes light up at the mention of her name. Maybe we can work out some visits or something. Hint, hint Ms. Staci!
So now we are two weeks away from his 3rd birthday. On the 29th of this month he will begin school and his transition to preschool. Staci will have one last visit with him just a few days prior to him being 3. She will have seen him grow from a young toddler to a preschooler. She was a major part of this transformation and the progress he has made. We are forever grateful.
I have no idea if there are enough gifts and thank yous in this world to let the team that worked with us know how much we appreciate what they have done for us. The doors they have opened up. The changes that were made. I just hope our team realizes just how much they mean to us and that we could not have done this without them. The are my miracle workers and I just hope that other families realize just how valuable these ladies are and how much they love doing what they do. They truly want to help families and see these children grow and succeed in life.
Thank you so much again. We will miss you so much.
The Thomas family!
Dear Staci, Becky, Starla and the rest of the team who has spent time helping us with H,
Here we are just a few weeks away from our last weeks with you, two to be exact. This is just almost to hard to write because part of me in still in denial our services with you will be ending soon. 18 months ago we started our journey with you. I was unsure of what would even come of our initial consultation, if anyone would even see the need for it or if I was just a paranoid mom who forgot what it was like to raise a toddler boy.
In May of 2012 we began this journey. I have saved every print off that I was given from the first 6 months prior to our first appointment to gain a actual diagnosis. I often look at those on days where I think things are not going well and look and see just how far we have come. Sometimes it's those actual notes that completely keep me motivated in doing what I do for H. When I see how bad it was and how much work was needing to be done and then I know everything we have gone through was for a purpose. I would not change any of it.
The day we headed out for our first diagnosis I just remember the support Staci gave and told me to be strong. If it didn't go well we could always ask for a second opinion. At the end of the day I called her in tears at the possible diagnosis and I remember Staci saying we will just do what we have always done he is still the same child no matter what the diagnosis. We also ended up going with that second opinion. I am so glad to this day we did that.
As we have moved on I feel our team has bonded and grown together. We have laughed together, cried together, and certainly felt beyond frustrated together. My team has become like family to us. I count on these visits and consults like I count on visits with my own family. I know that H has grown to count on his weekly Tuesday visits with Ms. Staci. His eyes light up at the mention of her name. Maybe we can work out some visits or something. Hint, hint Ms. Staci!
So now we are two weeks away from his 3rd birthday. On the 29th of this month he will begin school and his transition to preschool. Staci will have one last visit with him just a few days prior to him being 3. She will have seen him grow from a young toddler to a preschooler. She was a major part of this transformation and the progress he has made. We are forever grateful.
I have no idea if there are enough gifts and thank yous in this world to let the team that worked with us know how much we appreciate what they have done for us. The doors they have opened up. The changes that were made. I just hope our team realizes just how much they mean to us and that we could not have done this without them. The are my miracle workers and I just hope that other families realize just how valuable these ladies are and how much they love doing what they do. They truly want to help families and see these children grow and succeed in life.
Thank you so much again. We will miss you so much.
The Thomas family!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Conquering fears
I think the tears are starting to well up even before I start this entry. Today was so special yet so simple. Words can't really explain so I am going to post a TON of pictures. Some of the main things that happened today are: 1) We took our ASD child to a water park, it was small but a place full of water 2) Our ASD child had the most fun I have seen him had in a long time 3) My 8 year old who is fearful of just about anything conquered her own big fears those are slides and diving boards 4) we avoided a trip to the ER ( the past two summers on any fun family outing I manage to get stung by a bee without my epi pen and land in the hospital) We had a few close calls but made it out safe!
This family has been through hell this summer and even though things have been tough Chris and I realized we had to do something. I can't have these kids memories filled with sadness. So last night Chris said we should go for the water park and just do it! We figured with the cheap entry fee, and the ability to bring our own food we could honestly pull this off. If you have ever been to Hurricane Harbor or big water parkers you know those fees quickly rise all in all we spent well less than that and I think had more fun than a big overcrowded water park.
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| That bright pink spec on the diving board is Ella jumping! |
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| He enjoyed bouncing up and down in the water! |
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| After lots of attempts he finally decided to go down the waterslide on his own just like his big sisters. |
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| Ella was so scared to do this but the helpful lifeguard told her if she sat up it would make it slower. |
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| So proud of doing the slide by himself. I think he did this slide another 100 times before we left |
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| He got brave and decided face first was more fun because he could open his mouth and proceed to drink the water as he got to the end of the slide! |
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| This was a fun rope course they had and Ella did it without falling into the water. That kid has incredible upper body strenth |
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| That spec on the board is Hannah doing her big huge cannon ball! |
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| So tired he couldn't even put his water down before he crashed out! |
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| Hannah fell asleep right after this picture and has been out like a light since we got home |
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| Somehow she managed to stay awake the whole ride and is still up as I write this! So that was our three hour day at the Camp Bowie Family Aquatic Center. I really had tears of joy as I watched my children just be kids today. They encouraged one another and just had fun being together. Its things like this that make all those struggles worth it. The manager of the water park was amazing we told her H's situation and she came and checked on us throughout our stay. I had tears in my eyes when I told her thank you for making this day so awesome for us. She made the 1hr and 20 min drive so worth it. She was so sweet and was urging us to come back again and stay longer. Baby steps, baby steps. So I guess we did get a vacation this summer. Autism took a vacation today and we were a typical family. It was so different and while I enjoyed it I wouldn't change H at all. It was just nice to not have to worry about big crowds and getting lost. The staff was aware of his eloping and you could tell when he was around they took notice. They might have been teenagers but I think some of them took it seriously. Its 4 hours after we got home and I am still smiling! Is it really Monday tomorrow? |
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Super Sunday Sync! My first time co hosting a blog hop!
Excited to be co hosting my first blog hop this weekend. I am apparently not as good at this whole blog thing as I thought because man this was crazy for me to figure out! Anyways I am Jamie the mother of 4 wife to 1. I lead a crazy life but love every minute of it. I enjoy burning both ends of the candle while raising our special needs toddler. Some how some way I manage to get it all done well almost all of it. If I don't invite ya into my house just know something that day had to give! Thanks for following me this weekend on the Super Sunday Sync! I hope I get to do this again soon!
Welcome to Super Sunday Sync #45!
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Saturday, July 13, 2013
Taking time to educate
I was asked tonight after a meeting I was at by a lady who had grown children what my son's disability was. She asked in a manner that I knew she knew what it was but instead of being rude and saying "So your kids is Autistic right?" She made it opened to segway her questions and wants for my opinion. I explained to her my son has PDD-NOS a form of Autism along with sensory disorders and auditory disorders. She smiled and nodded politely which left me feeling a tad bit uneasy. I have heard of these scenarios of how welling meaning people come to you and suddenly tell you if I do XYZ then my life will be better, If I just spank him he will snap out of it etc. I braced myself because 1) I had no idea what she was going to say 2) I was at my friends place and I wanted to remain as calm and professional as possible.
I can be quick to jump to the defensive so I stood calmly and waited for her to go where she was heading with our conversation. My husband was near by and I am pretty sure he was sensing that this could get intense so he walked away with H to go see the horses. Chris doesn't quiet have the filter I do so it's best to let me handle sticky situations such as what I thought we might be encountering.
Anyways she asked if I had decided to go all organic and gluten free style of eating. I am thinking "Oh lord here it comes my child's diet is about to be the cure for Autism!" I heard her out and when she said that she had heard it can help alter their behaviors etc I suddenly thinking "Ok I can totally work with this." I explained to her how his diet is for the most part limited due to him being picky however we eliminated food dyes and a lot of the processed foods. I buy organic for him when I can but that we are on a tight budget so I can't do the whole gluten friendly stuff quiet yet but hopefully one day I can. For now this is where we are and it seems to be helping us for the time being.
I think she sort of sensed my tension so we threw in some side conversation and then she double backed and came at me again. This time I was more prepared. Or so I had thought. She asked me if they had a cure for Autism would I want to cure H? A year ago I would have jumped up and down screaming yes yes, oh please please please cure my child! However I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle, this is who Hunter is, He is just as good as any typical developing peer and will be somebody someday regardless of his disability.
I turned and looked at her and calmly responded "No I don't want to cure my child" She didn't seem quiet prepared for my response. She opened her mouth looked at me and did a double take. When I saw the look on her face I told her "This is who Hunter is, Autism doesn't have Hunter, Hunter has Autism. This is how he was suppose to be. This is what sets him apart from his siblings and his peers. He was put here with a purpose and that as to take this disability and let it know who is boss."
After a few minutes she still probably couldn't let it sink in that I didn't want to cure my son so she wanted to I guess come at this from another angle. I explained I had four children and that each one was special in their own way. Do I blame myself for anything they might have today? Nope not really. I mean I knew it was a possibility that one or all of my kids could end up with some form of learning disability and or ADD. Did that stop me, of course not. I wanted a family. I could tell she thinking that I was taking offense to her and she was telling me that I should never beat myself up over how any of my children turned out it wasn't my fault. I think clearly I had this lady so confused that she was trying to salvage what was going on. I wasn't irritated with her I was just so curious as to her line and logic of her thinking. She had older children whom she really didn't see often I assume they live with another relative as she stated it had been over a year since seeing them. So I guess she was just curious as to a special needs parent thinks when it comes to this.
As we wrapped up our conversation she went in for the kill. However I think she was more curious because its such a common misconception and tossed around so often I can't blame her. She asked if I blamed all the immunizations that children are given. I told her out of my 4 fully vaccinated children this was the only child on the spectrum. She said she had read that giving tylonal to a child before shots had also been the case. Well I am not sure then if that is the case how we ended up where we are since I was the mom who always forgot and gave my kids the pain meds AFTER the shots.
I wanted her to see that not all the research out there is accurate. That it is still very outdated in some respects. There is so much more coming from these big Autism organizations that are helping alleviate those misconceptions and educating the masses. I pointed her to a few good resources to help her better understand that there is so much more to this disability than a diet a child eats or a immunizations a child has. Yes there can be reactions to diet and vaccines but neither one is the direct result of Autism.
I was proud to really spend time educating someone tonight. I really felt she listened to what I had to say and respected my thoughts and opinions on this matter. I hope I can spend time educating more around me who are not aware of what Autism and all that goes with it is. It is a great and empowering feeling. Something we all know I enjoy every now and then.
Making some noise, taking a stand
I often use my ADD to my advantage sometimes it works others not so much. I do pride myself on my initiative and what I set out to accomplish. I am hard on myself when I never reach those goals however. Earlier this year I really found myself and found myself often burning both ends of the candle. Full time student, teacher, parent, wife and volunteer. I want to do it all I want to leave my mark and leave it loud and clear. So far I think I have.
When I joined Reach for a Difference. (www.reachforadifference.org) I had no idea what to expect. I suddenly found a group of people who might actually appreciate and respect my ideas and thoughts. I suddenly found myself on the fast track to being an action board member. I had ideas and plans that made them excited to have me there. I looked forward to our monthly meetings. I had a few proposals that I am proud of. A city wide child find event to help local families pinpoint needs and services for their children, a dads group for the men to bond and talk about the ASD life and I provided a great guest speaker for one of our meetings. I felt accomplished.
At the end of last year I was reading via email of a facility that did riding for those is special needs and disabilities. A friend of mine was doing this for her son so I wanted to check it out. I was never able to actually see anything since H wouldn't work with me so finally when our EFMP (Exceptional Family Members Program) hosted an event there I was all over it. That is when we knew riding would be for H. Chris and I got super involved as did Sean. I am now on the board there and helping promote the facility and all it has to offer. I have a lot of support from the folks out there in what I am doing so to know this helps motivate me even more. It might be a million degrees outside but taking my son up there for his sessions once a week is something I won't pass up. I say it builds character ha ha!
After meeting so many friends who had children on the spectrum I came up with an idea to present to them one evening and the Spectrum Connection came to be. It is a FB page set up to help local West Texas families connect, share, get information and set up play dates. It lulled out for a bit but this week I have decided to do my best to bring it back to life. Why? You will see as you read on.
In April due to my acceleration with school, being on the deans list and now the presidents list, along with my interactions at work and in the community I was awarded Employee of the Quarter for the 7th Bomb Wing. It was a huge deal to me. It has set the bar a bit higher for me and made me set goals that I may not make right away but I hope to. Will I still be hard on myself if I don't reach these goals? Of course I will I know I can do it so I should not settle for anything less.
Just recently we battled some issues which I have discussed enough so I won't bore with those details. That also had me put things on the back burner for a while. I was starting to feel down on myself and not happy that I have let things slip. I emailed our CEO with Reach and said we should set up a meeting because I need to get things rolling again. The next day I just happened to stumble across something on a page I belong to on FB and ideas started sparking left and right. With the loss of some crucial programs that help military families once/twice a month a lot of people were feeling the pressure escpecially those who have special needs children and are seeking respite care while their spouse is TDY, Deployed or on a remote tour. Even those who have their spouse home and just need that break and meet other parents. I thought about the support group I had for those who had children with ASD. We haven't utilized it as much as we should have and now is the time to strike while the iron is hot.
I decided to take a deep breath and email our base commander and ask him why we couldn't offer some sort of play group/ respite care to these military families that so needed it. I posted on the spouse pages about what our group was and who would be interested in getting together. I knew there are so many families searching for a place they can go to meet others and just feel like no one is judging.
As I posted I was shocked at some of these responses. Some were very encouraging a few left me shaking my head wondering why people can't just be happy. I was given grief when I was told that this was just opened to spectrum families since it was for our group etc. I encouraged other families to do the same. I was told I was discriminating. I am not sure how so since I wouldn't want to take my child to a playgroup with cancer patients, Downs or CP. Not that I don't think they are not good enough but because my child has none of those and it makes no sense. I want to be around other families who know what I am going through. I was starting to actually feel more powerful because the people who stood behind me really made it known and wanted to support me and help me. Fantastic!
I emailed the commander and said a special needs respite/ play group would be great but I would want other families to step up to help promote this but for now since Autism is a prevalent disability at this base it would be ideal to hone in on this and do what we can to get the ball rolling. I was ecstatic to see the response. I had those nay sayers telling me he will laugh at me and tell me with the state of our budget this would not happen. I was told that he would tell me to go off on my own and do this. However the response I got shocked many including myself!
So this is now my motivation and my drive to do this. Several higher ups had this email sent to them, they are now looking into ways to make this possible. I am hopeful and encouraged to help these families. I am looking at talking with a few people on what it would actually take to launch this program and how soon it would be able to launch.
To those who doubted me I am not going to let you get me down. I am strong and I am a fighter. I will do what I can do make a difference and to help others. I feel its what I need to do since so many have come forward to help us. Some times taking a stand and voicing your ideas is all it takes to make that small rippled that can make a very large effect.
When I joined Reach for a Difference. (www.reachforadifference.org) I had no idea what to expect. I suddenly found a group of people who might actually appreciate and respect my ideas and thoughts. I suddenly found myself on the fast track to being an action board member. I had ideas and plans that made them excited to have me there. I looked forward to our monthly meetings. I had a few proposals that I am proud of. A city wide child find event to help local families pinpoint needs and services for their children, a dads group for the men to bond and talk about the ASD life and I provided a great guest speaker for one of our meetings. I felt accomplished.
At the end of last year I was reading via email of a facility that did riding for those is special needs and disabilities. A friend of mine was doing this for her son so I wanted to check it out. I was never able to actually see anything since H wouldn't work with me so finally when our EFMP (Exceptional Family Members Program) hosted an event there I was all over it. That is when we knew riding would be for H. Chris and I got super involved as did Sean. I am now on the board there and helping promote the facility and all it has to offer. I have a lot of support from the folks out there in what I am doing so to know this helps motivate me even more. It might be a million degrees outside but taking my son up there for his sessions once a week is something I won't pass up. I say it builds character ha ha!
After meeting so many friends who had children on the spectrum I came up with an idea to present to them one evening and the Spectrum Connection came to be. It is a FB page set up to help local West Texas families connect, share, get information and set up play dates. It lulled out for a bit but this week I have decided to do my best to bring it back to life. Why? You will see as you read on.
In April due to my acceleration with school, being on the deans list and now the presidents list, along with my interactions at work and in the community I was awarded Employee of the Quarter for the 7th Bomb Wing. It was a huge deal to me. It has set the bar a bit higher for me and made me set goals that I may not make right away but I hope to. Will I still be hard on myself if I don't reach these goals? Of course I will I know I can do it so I should not settle for anything less.
Just recently we battled some issues which I have discussed enough so I won't bore with those details. That also had me put things on the back burner for a while. I was starting to feel down on myself and not happy that I have let things slip. I emailed our CEO with Reach and said we should set up a meeting because I need to get things rolling again. The next day I just happened to stumble across something on a page I belong to on FB and ideas started sparking left and right. With the loss of some crucial programs that help military families once/twice a month a lot of people were feeling the pressure escpecially those who have special needs children and are seeking respite care while their spouse is TDY, Deployed or on a remote tour. Even those who have their spouse home and just need that break and meet other parents. I thought about the support group I had for those who had children with ASD. We haven't utilized it as much as we should have and now is the time to strike while the iron is hot.
I decided to take a deep breath and email our base commander and ask him why we couldn't offer some sort of play group/ respite care to these military families that so needed it. I posted on the spouse pages about what our group was and who would be interested in getting together. I knew there are so many families searching for a place they can go to meet others and just feel like no one is judging.
As I posted I was shocked at some of these responses. Some were very encouraging a few left me shaking my head wondering why people can't just be happy. I was given grief when I was told that this was just opened to spectrum families since it was for our group etc. I encouraged other families to do the same. I was told I was discriminating. I am not sure how so since I wouldn't want to take my child to a playgroup with cancer patients, Downs or CP. Not that I don't think they are not good enough but because my child has none of those and it makes no sense. I want to be around other families who know what I am going through. I was starting to actually feel more powerful because the people who stood behind me really made it known and wanted to support me and help me. Fantastic!
I emailed the commander and said a special needs respite/ play group would be great but I would want other families to step up to help promote this but for now since Autism is a prevalent disability at this base it would be ideal to hone in on this and do what we can to get the ball rolling. I was ecstatic to see the response. I had those nay sayers telling me he will laugh at me and tell me with the state of our budget this would not happen. I was told that he would tell me to go off on my own and do this. However the response I got shocked many including myself!
Jamie -
Thank you for thinking about how to better serve our families at Dyess. I applaud your initiative to volunteer to organize a playgroup/care type event for families with special needs children.
Your suggestion to use the Hangar Center is a good one, and there may be a couple other facilities that would work well, too. I'll have my force support team research the options, and I'll get back to you early next week.
Again, thank you for your suggestion and willingness to help --
Sincerely,
Glen VanHerck
GLEN D. VANHERCK, COL, USAF
Commander, 7th Bomb Wing
So this is now my motivation and my drive to do this. Several higher ups had this email sent to them, they are now looking into ways to make this possible. I am hopeful and encouraged to help these families. I am looking at talking with a few people on what it would actually take to launch this program and how soon it would be able to launch.
To those who doubted me I am not going to let you get me down. I am strong and I am a fighter. I will do what I can do make a difference and to help others. I feel its what I need to do since so many have come forward to help us. Some times taking a stand and voicing your ideas is all it takes to make that small rippled that can make a very large effect.
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