So long. Farewell.

Alex was always in my room and in my stuff!

He always had a way to make you laugh

Alex and Cammie where always together!

Our Christmas card I have no idea what year that was

Alex just being Alex

And we all love his trade mark crazy hair style!

Well ok here we go just going to let this go where ever it takes me.
Today we said good bye to Alex Tyler Goldstrich. My baby brother my wonderful sweet caring baby brother. I look back now and think about the last few days and all that has taken place. Since Friday its just been a whirl wind of events. Friday is still and probably always will be a blur to me. I can remember the phone call and walking out to Aunt Ann's car. I even remember getting to my grandmothers. Most of that though is sort of a blur. The one thing I recall well is them bringing Alex out to take away for the final time. He was cold, stiff and blue. I laid my head on him and said I was sorry and said good bye. I become almost in denial this was in fact happening. Saturday was more of just a blur. I saw my sister Dana and Jenny. We did lunch and got manicures. Bizzar I know but the relaxation I really sort of needed. I do not even really remember much more about that day but that. Sunday we went to get an outfit for Cammie to wear did lunch with Dana and Aunt Sue and talked. Dana wants Cammie to live with her I think that's a grand idea. After they get back from Maui we will see what becomes of that. So now we have reached today, Monday, the day we lay him to rest and say our final good byes. I slept in since I finally went to be around 4am. I moped around and finally decided that I needed to have outfits for everyone to wear. CRAP! After a agonizing trip to Kohls and a Burger king run I decided I could not put off the inevitable much longer. Me and the girls went to Mimi's house and got ready. After fixing up me and the girls we where ready to go. I did everything I could to distract myself from the car ride there. We arrived and oddly enough I am fine almost normal. I walk in and see family friends people I had not seen in years. I decided its time to walk in and see my brother. Cammie at that time was not up for sharing. I stood by her. not even able to shed emotion but stand there and think who is that body in there and why am I not sad? I wondered back and forth for a while until the service started. The man doing the service sucked. I am sorry I know its rude but man he was lame. Cammie was the first to speak she was a mess. Her other half is gone forever and she has to figure out life on her own and she is not used to that and I do not know if she ever will. A few friends spoke along with Maggie who is Alex's best friend and we just love her and John his boyfriend off and on for many years. They had such wonderful things to say such great memories. The after that I decided I needed to go and speak and I did. I couldn't tell you what I said but apparently everyone loved it. Shortly after more poor speaking from this guy the service ended. We had one last chance to say good bye and it was awkward. I had said i was sorry already that Friday as they wheeled him out but now what do I say what do I do? So I just said so long farewell my sweet brother I miss you so much and will love you forever. The girls even said good bye and looked at him. Please know that I debated long and hard on if this was good for them but I went with my gut and my kids feelings and prepared them ahead of time for what they would see. I did not force the issue at all with them and I know that it was probably hard to grasp at their age but I think this was the closure they needed. So just know I thought this out and I am sure I will I have spent two hours trying to complete this I have been stopping to look at pictures and just well think. It was very nice to have friends there tonight to. Lauren, Kris, Melanie, Laurie and Heather. It was good to have someone besides family to talk to and socialize with. I love you guys very much and appreciate you being there. I know Kara wanted to be there but its ok I forgive her! Well its now after 1am and while I am not tired I know I should try to rest. My girls are sleeping soundly on either couch right now and I am glad sleeping peacefully. I hope to be back at work by Thursday because I do not know what to do with this time off. I know that I need to keep busy so I am just trying to make plans to get out of the house and just do stuff till I go back to work. Again thank you everyone for your kind words and sweet gestures I appreciate them. And my house smells wonderful right now with all these flowers. And the plants I got are great now lets pray I keep them alive! Well I think I will go cuddle up in bed with my girls and try and get some rest. Till next time sweet dreams and thanks for reading.

In memory of Alex Tyler Goldstrich

Below is the memorandum card used for the funeral tomorrow of my little brother. I have started a blog to post about Fridays events but keep stopping. I think tomorrow I will have the chance to get my thoughts together. It just does not seem real that I will be laying my brother to rest tomorrow. I miss him so very much. He was so young so full of life. He will be so greatly missed.



Alex was always so full of life, laughter and style. He loved hanging out with his friends, family and loved to cook. He was the best uncle Sean, Hannah and Ella could ever ask for, and loved to spend his time entertaining them. He wanted to make everyone happy around him and was always the entertainer, the clown, the joker. He was the sweetest and most generous little brother and would go out of his way to help others. We all loved him so much, but know that he is in a better place now where he can feel no more pain. He is with his father now, whom he loved so much. Rest in peace sweet brother and know we will love and miss you so much. Til we meet again. Go with God.

Love, Jamie, Jordan, Jenny and Cameron


Sean, age 8 – I loved playing video games with my uncle Alex. I had fun when he would take me places with aunt Cammie and I would spend the night. He let me have ice cream for breakfast when he babysat me. I love him very much and I will miss him.

Hannah, age 6 – Alex was always nice to me. He was a very nice uncle. I loved it when he babysat me. He was friendly. I love Alex. Alex was the best.


Ella, age 4 – I love Alex and I like him. Alex is the best!

Another day.......

Evening all. So its Wednesday and at almost a week after Matt's visit no word on what the deal is. Frustrating yes I would think so! I have been talking with some people here in the condos and there might be a place or two coming available here soon. I won't get my hopes up but we will see. I hate dealing with people like this. Its so annoying!
Doctors results? ya have not gotten those yet either! I swear I think everyone is out to get me! Honestly do all these people like watching me sit in agony?! I don't get it at all. So I guess when I hear something you guys will hear something!
As of today its exactly 7 weeks and Chris will be here. We are both excited and really needing a vacation. He has the hotel all picked out and taken care of. We have a busy trip planned so I am sure it will go by fast. I am excited for him to meet the kids and my family. Jason and I talked and he has stated that he wants to talk and meet Chris before the kids are introduced to him. While I see where Jason is coming from I am also a big girl capable of making the right choice on when the right time is to introduce my children to someone. I am sure this will be awkward awful and intense but I am sure I will live. I am just not sure how to handle and figure this all out. I just want this all to go smooth because I am not up for stupid drama!
I actually did not have as much to write about as I thought but just thought I would I guess update. I can't say that the rest of my week will be exciting but who knows that could change. The girls are crashed out after much fighting and debate! I am watching this horrible show on A&E I think its called The Exterminators! Oh my gosh this show is just awful. I hate bugs and rodents but I was so busy doing stuff on here I didn't want to change the channel but if you love horrible reality TV then this is up your alley. Ahh that reminds me I need to finish this so I can catch up on Grey's! Do not fill me in on this season I will watch for myself! Well its now 11pm I am done rambling so nite nite all!

Blah................

Well its almost been a week since I updated this I don't want it to be a huge long rambling. But I guess there is a bunch to update on. Such as my birthday day dinner, housing update, girls skating competition and misc. this and that kind of stuff. So I guess I will start from the top and work my way down. Hopefully this does not become to long!
So let see Thursday after work Matt (the real estate agent) came by to take some pictures and do a bit of a walk through of my home. He was pretty hard to read on what was going to happen but I just wanted him to see what I have been subjected to over the course of the last few months. He took some pictures said he would mail them to the owner/landlord of the place and see what would happen. I am hoping this will be fixed so we do not have to break my lease and move I hate moving! And well I just need to have more time to find a place to go ect. Its now Monday and no word. I am going to shoot him an email after this to see where we stand since the 1st is right around the corner. Maybe I will have good news by tomorrow or something.
Friday night was my birthday dinner. The day was mostly spent at the rink with the girls and I did a bit of shopping for my big night out. I bought some really cute stuff and I am excited to show it off. Well I did show off a new cute pink dress with a little white sweater. I think I might try and post a few pictures of the evening. I was a bit disappointed at the turn out of the evening. I am grateful for those who did show up and understanding of those unable to make it. The waitress sucked and it was just well an interesting night and I am thinking about in May scheduling a redo so if you missed out you will get a second chance. But thank you Mel, Laurie, Heather, Stacy, Julie and Meg. I am so glad you girls could make it!
Sunday the girls competed in a local competition at the Dallas Galleria. While this competition in the past has normally been a big competition over the years it has shrank. And now that Hannah is moving up to higher levels skating at such a small rink is proving to be more of a challenge. So for this she did fewer more laid back events to prepare for Dist. in May. She placed 1st in all her events and once I get the pictures from Trina I will put a few up also. Ella Grace only did one event and she got 1st also. I think she did better this weekend than at Winter Classic but she will not be moving up to the next level for Dist. Hannah's synchro team looked great despite the absence of their head coach. Aerin did a great job with them. They looked great!
So ok now we are caught up to Monday and I am just kinda blah. The doctor never called me today with results so now I need to call tomorrow to see whats going on. If its anything like my visit I am sure they forgot or lost my stuff haha!! So I did my best to not let it bother me over the weekend and it really didn't until today so when I know more you will know more. I also received a letter from my traffic lawyer and it said to call ASAP. I am not sure if ASAP means the same in lawyer terms as it does in say just regular speak. I called it took about 5 min or so for them to figure out who I was ect. and then when they finally did they where like oh ya the lady you need to speak to is out on lunch for another 10 minutes we will have her call you once she gets in. I said great I have another hour left on my break. My guess it was not that important because she never called me back. I am a little perturbed because well they have my money and I haven't heard much else like court date or anything and now not returning calls. I will try again tomorrow and hope to have more success in this.
On a final note we are about to tthe 7 week more for Chris' arrival and I am excited and nervous and just overwhelmed. I know that he is to. So much is going on in both of our lives it just somewhat nuts. I know he is excited but you know men they well do not show emotions like women do and do not communicate as much. We have a busy trip planned and I am pretty sure it will fly by. But I know once he goes back it will only be a few more months before he is home for good. And no we do not know yet where home for good will be but we do know it will not be in UTAH!!!
So that's about it for tonight. Hannah is begging for strawberries and whipped cream and Ella Grace is impressing me with the block letter E that she made and is coloring in. I am going with it she had a rough weekend so what ever makes her content and happy at this point. Next week she moves to Pre-K I am super excited and can not wait for this new adventure for us. Have a great night ya'll and I will write again soon!

Rambling........

So I felt this overwhelming need to blog. And I opened this window up around 2 hours ago. Now I sit here and think so what should I write about. Do I go into that wonderful fun filled doctors apt. I had yesterday? Nah because well besides the thyroid deal I do not know how much I would really want to divulge on here but I guess once I get test results I will say more. Just lots of female issues and well I can not say that I am surprised. Then there is the whole housing issue. The kids are on spring break but nothing to exciting there. And then of course there is Chris and his soon arrival to Dallas! So I opt to start the night out with housing and work my way through the topics.
So the latest and the greatest on the housing. I love my family well the family that I stay associated with! My cousin Timmy is a lawyer and has decided help me with this crappy housing situation. Long story short he used his lawyer muscles today and talked with Matt is coming over tomorrow we are going to look at the damage see what is easily fixable what can more than likely get fixed and see what just isn't going to get done. If we realize that there is no happy middle we will agree to just break the lease and move on. While everyone is probably thinking yippy your lease will be broken your free. I am not thrilled I hope its fixable I want to kind of stay till this lease is over. I need time to find my next place and stuff. I hate being rushed in these kind of things. I am sure most would agree right? So tomorrow after work I will meet with Matt I will update and let everyone know where we go from here.
So the kids are on spring break. Nothing really fun and exciting there. Hannah has been skating Tuesday and Wednesday. She loves that more than I think going to my school. Sean has been doing some day camp and I really have not heard from him but I will pick him up this weekend. I am sure I will hear alllll about it! I am not a fan of spring break well I am but this is the last break before school lets out for the Summer. I am not ready for that quiet yet!
So 8 weeks from today Chris will be here! I am trying to really really wrap my head around this and know that we will have 10 days to spend with each other. I know we have some fun things planned and he is excited about seeing the girls skate. To be on the safe side he has booked a hotel because as of right now we have no idea where I will be. I think even if I am in my place I think this hotel sounds pretty swanky I might say forget my place lets stay at the hotel! Its in uptown and seems fancy so I am excited about that. After speaking with Chris tonight I can tell he is needing a vacation. He is just really ready for a break things seem crazy for him there and I know he is wondering how he did on his promotions test and he won't find that out until after his leave. Now that has to be agonizing!
And well I guess I could just kinda say whats up on the doctor apt. yesterday. I guess when its been a few years I should not be surprised at what they have to say. My thyroid is very much enlarged and that has been what has caused my extreme rapid weight loss. While I have enjoyed my weight loss I know that this can be dangerous. So I guess once I get the results on those test I will know more and go see an endocrinologist. Of course there where a myriad of other things done but I will say due to a cyst that ruptured I have a really bad cervical infection requiring antibiotics that ugghhh are not pleasant. I have a few cysts they want to keep an eye on because they do not know if they might require surgery to remove but again pending results we will know more in a few days. Just do not like surprised especially with my health. So any news and I of course will update.
Oh and how could I forget the girls compete Sunday at the Galleria for a skating competition. Its not a real big one but I am still excited for them none the less. I am sure I will take a ton of pictures not nearly as well as Heather but I will make my attempt. Anyways that's it for the night. I think I rambled enough and feel a bit better. I hope everyone has had a great week. Have a good night and sweet dreams!

The nasty curve balls of life!

So I am sure this probably a blessing in disguise but still its a curve ball I was not ready for yet! So this all has to do with my POS condo that I have said that I have a love hate relationship with. While I was ready to kiss that place good bye in August I was so frustrated with it but it was my place. This was my first place that was MINE all mine after Jason and I split up. It was the first place that really made me realize I can do this on my own and that I can be independent and do my own thing. And while the first year was a little bumpy but not to bad I was excited to sign on for year number two. And going into year number 2 I was aiming to find something of course better and in the school dist. I want.
I had some big plans and around June I saw things really take a nasty turn. I guess the few months prior being with out gas was awful but I can handle it in the name of my place not blowing up during the repair. Then water main issues causing me to not have water again I don't want my place flood so sure turn off my water. All this time having to go between my house and Jason's. But then I started having tub trouble and leaking water. At first it wasn't a huge deal and would come and go. I didn't worry to much. But then I went to Denver for a week for the girls skating competition. I had a friend watch my place. Next time I will be a bit more wise in that choice!!! So while I am gone the leak begins to get worse! Finally it was so bad the ceiling was saturated along with the wall. Long story short mine and my neighbors walls and ceiling where crumbling in our kitchens and growing all sorts of MOLD!!! After the real estate agent and owner of the place and the owner of the vacant condo next door all pulled their heads out of their asses and figure out who would pay for what ect the repairs went underway. I knew I was screwed when the quote this dude had was super low. The old saying rings true you get what you pay for! So after about two weeks of repairs ect. we are now into I think Sept. or Oct. All this time I was having to stay with Jason. Yes yes I am paying rent to I had to in order apparently to pay for these repairs, I know this makes no sense now but just keep this in mind it makes sense later on.
So now we are at the holiday season and I was ready to go back home but the morons who did the repairs left it such a disaster that it needed even more work!! Dry wall dust got into the dryer motor and caused it to stop working, dry wall dust got into the lines of the stove and they stopped working, the tub that kept backing up with water had pretty much rotted and would not get repaired because well I don't think I can ever get a straight answer on that. there was water damaged and moldy pieces reused to fix the molding and stuff on the walls in my kitchen and laundry room. So this is when the round and round and stuff begins. I called Simon who was the contractor for my place and told him the issues and to let Matt know so we could get the ball rolling and get me back in there. Well that's when I start to hear about no money blah blah kinda crap. I am like oh my god really. So I get so caught up in the holidays I really just cant use my place for more than storage and maybe a few over night stays. The showers are a mess the kitchen is useless and I only have a usable washer. Just not ok for the kids. To much dust and to much mess. I kept getting the run around so I give up. I suck it up and make it my new years resolution to get this crap fixed. The first of the year rolls around and I now realize I got to get this place fixed Chris will be here soon and I need to be back home doing my thing and what I had set out to do when I left Jason. And if I am paying rent on my glorified storage unit than by god i should be living there!
So here we are this weekend after Thursday night having a melt down and saying enough is really enough. Karen tells me to find my lease take pictures of the damage and email it to her. Its 10pm at night and I march over there while Jordan is on the phone entertaining me because its creepy and scary there alone at night. After about half an hour later all the pictures where taken and no lease was found. I loaded them and sent them to Karen. I emailed Matt asked for a copy of my lease. The next evening I got emails phone calls ect. The lady who owns the place isn't making money and stuff and wants to get out now and that's why repairs can't be made because there is no money left to make repairs. That's understandable I guess. But now I could be out sooner than I planned and not thrilled. I have not saved do not know where to look or go. I have Chris coming here in 9 weeks and I am overwhelmed. I am possibly meeting with Matt tomorrow to figure out where we stand on this. I am telling him the soonest I will move is after May.
I am debating to upload my pictures for all of you to see. I might do that later.

Bout time I add some pictures!

We love going to the park! Apparently Sean does not like having his picture taken!

Ella at Winter Classic. She is so proud that snagged that sucker!

Hannah after skating her program. She is proud she got 2nd!

Last year my fun filled birthday dinner and Dick's Last Resort. Part II to follow!!